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does anyone else find relationships hardwork?

P

Pffft

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i dont really like socializing unless its with very close friends.. my best friends basically... and even then it has to be like 2 max.. nights out are okay... i have felt like this before i was depressed ..its abit like "all or nothing" im either going to look out for you and protect you... or nothing.. and i cant be bothered with you.. will say hello but if i never see you again.. then i definately will not lose sleep over it... but depression is making it worse... even family relations are hardwork... and most of them are smooth.. i get on with them all (i have arguements with parents and bro and sis) but thats normal i suppose... but even though i get along with my other family members .. i just never see them.. they live in the same town as me.. but its hard work... is anyone else like that?
 
R

ranger

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I have to spend a great majority of my time alone pffft. Sometimes I cannot deal with friends and family at times, not because I don't like them or anything I just find I need my own space a lot of the time. But when well I attempt to do things to relax me.

Relationships are incredibly difficult with my condition though. I have schizophrenia.
 
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Pffft

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hello ranger :) i think im the same as you... i dont suffer from schizophrenia though... erm hope im not asking a dumb question but how does it affect relationships? .. (sorry im not the best at wording things) but ever since i am suffering from depression i try to learn more about other mental illnesses.. so i hope i haven't offended you :)
 
Starless

Starless

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Hey Pffft

I find being around people really hard work too. It can be draining because I spend so much time trying to hide how I'm feeling if I'm not feeling well that I end up irritable and pissing people off anyway. I'm fiercely protective of of small handful of people that I love (family and close friends) and most of the time I forget there's more than just those people out there. Still, even close relationships I find difficult to maintain.

Still, I think as long as you've got a good support network around you with family/friends then it doesn't matter how many people are in that group. :)
 
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Pffft

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defo agree with you starless :) ... if one thing i have noticed as i have grown up is that popularity is not important.. not only that but alot of people are 2 faced and pretend to be a loyal friend when really you cant trust them... i just wish i didnt let this get in the way of friendships with people in my footy team and people in the workplace as well
 
Starless

Starless

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I know what you mean, Pffft. Workplace relationships can be so difficult to handle. It took me a fair few jobs to figure out that I'm really not a people person. Office politics can be especially hard, but I used to make an effort to be pleasant to everyone, no matter how much I wanted to punch someone for being a dick. :p Least that way I kept my own nose clean.

But that's life, I suppose. We're not supposed to get on with everyone, because then we'd all be clones! (Think I've lost my train of thought here, sorry!)
 
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Pffft

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I know what you mean, Pffft. Workplace relationships can be so difficult to handle. It took me a fair few jobs to figure out that I'm really not a people person. Office politics can be especially hard, but I used to make an effort to be pleasant to everyone, no matter how much I wanted to punch someone for being a dick. :p Least that way I kept my own nose clean.

But that's life, I suppose. We're not supposed to get on with everyone, because then we'd all be clones! (Think I've lost my train of thought here, sorry!)
starless i think we most be long lost siblings... cause thats how i feel! especially the clones bit lol
 
Starless

Starless

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Lol. Well I'm sure it's not just us that share those views. :) People can be hard bloody work, so I spent most of my time alone. Saves an awful lot of arguements.

Are your family/friends there to talk to when things get tough? Makes a good difference to wellbeing, I reckon, knowing you're not alone. This place is great for that too :)
 
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Pffft

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you're telling me! i hate those people at work that think they are the dogs back legs when really no one can be arsed with them and they fail to notice this and think the sun shines out of their own backside!

and well i have 2 best friends... and 2 good friends... 1 of my best friends is there all the time even if it is just through text or w.e is easiest at the time.. my other best friend is the same age as me (21) and she doesnt really understand mental illnesses... so i tend to avoid talking about my feelings... she does the good ol' 1 liner about "you dont look depressed" but thats because i put a front on ...and i know she doesnt mean it... i am still sensitive with her.. and thats maybe why we both dont talk about it... but with other stuff.. we have a fab time :) and im glad i have her.. im meeting her later actually!... not been out the house in 4 days so am lookingforward to it :)

and family... my sister and mam are learning and learning and they are alot more open minded and have really stepped up... and actually i have seen an even nicer side to my sister.. i am now honest with her... if im having a shit day.. i can say that.. rather than saying im fine.. and sometimes i phone her to tell her to come upstairs (when i wake up) and ask her to sit on the side of my bed and give me a cuddle.. and even get her to play with my favourite ted (ok i sound like a child now!) as for my brother... he is a bloke... obviously! lol and well he his arrogant towards depression... he hasn't suffered from it.. so since he hasnt suffered from it ..i get the impression he thinks it doesnt exist!.. he struggles to understand and i once tried to be honest and all i got was a blank expression from him.. and i was in tears... so i dont bother with him... and my dad has been abit of both.. he is supporting but doesnt think before he says.. so will say things and i will be really sensitive to it... and also he tends to bury his head in the sand with somethings like SH which is frustrating...

but on the whole they are all supportive ... and i am lucky to have them... even though we do have our fair share of arguements!
 
Starless

Starless

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Ah yes! I've met my fair share of arrogant... people in work places too. Perhaps this is a little vindictive, but there's something quite enjoyable about seeing those people get shot down when they've got their heads shoved firmly up the boss's backside! :LOL:

My brother's just the same as yours, by the sounds of it. Has no understanding of mental health, so I don't bother to broach the subject with him. He's a very robust young man, and very arrogant, but it stands in him good stead for dealing with the world, methinks. Your Dad sounds just like mine too! Fairly understanding, but always manages to put his foot in it somehow. Lol. Least they mean well, eh?

I'm glad you're looking forward to getting out and about today. I don't know about you, but when I manage to leave the house and the air's fresh and crisp it instantly lifts my spirits. I hope you have a good time. :)
 
R

ranger

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I have four close friends Pfft.I have known them all years and despite me being unpredictable some times because how my condition can affect me at times. I am lucky with family. I have two sisters who have families of their own and my parents who are all there for me when I need them.

I have only had one long term relationship, but I chose someone who unfortunately was all about herself and cheated on me so many times.. We did live together for a period but it was a disaster. I have had quite a few female friends since but at the present I do need my own space. I live alone.

I am not looking, but I think if it is meant to be the right person will probably turn up when you are not expecting them too. My key thing is never to predict the future. Who knows. I can be a bit of a believer in destiny. You never know Pffft.:) There is no rush.:)
 
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