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Does anyone else feel the same?



Does anyone feel as though no one makes an effort to talk to them? Like you're always the one trying to start a conversation? Like no one cares enough about you to make an effort to talk to you?

I feel like this all the time, like I'm always messaging people first, texting people first and most of the time they don't reply or if they do it's only out of decency and not because they genuinely care about me or my feelings.

I'm fed up of putting all the effort in!

Is there ever going to be a time when someone talks to me first and takes time to make an effort with me?

Why do I feel like nobody cares about me and my feelings?

I just want someone to ask me how I'm feeling without me prompting them or for someone to message me first.

I want someone to make a real effort with me and fight for me and be there for me even when I'm not depressed.

Am I ever going to be stuck on someone's mind?

Is anyone going to ever think about me and compliment me?

Am I going to be loved by someone unconditionally and for them to treat me as though I'm the only person in the world?

Without any prompting, am I ever going to wake up to a text message saying "Hey babe, I miss you so much. Love you lots" or a random message or call to say how beautiful I am and how much I mean to someone?

Do I mean anything to anyone? Do people notice me? If I disappeared who would genuinely miss me? What do I bring to this world? What difference do I make? Am I worthy of being loved?

Some many questions and thoughts constantly racing through my mind and all I want is to be loved, appreciated and noticed for who I am without having to make the first move or send the first message or act up for attention/affection...

I know other people feel like this as well, right?


Well-known member
Apr 24, 2017
Pyongyang, DPRK
Hey R2Y5A0N2,

Sorry to hear you feel that way. Some people are approached more than others, that's just the nature of socialising. You're clearly really upset that people aren't messaging you first, and I can understand that - it can feel like no one wants to talk to you if you're always the one who's having to strike up the conversations.

However, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It means that you can choose the people you want to speak to, and you also have the liberty of spending more time away from your phone. I found that I got so much more done when I didn't have to worry about people messaging me, so if it's making you upset, redirect your energy to other activities .

It's clear that you have a lot of questions, but you can't force people to love you unconditionally, you can't force people to miss you or notice you or love you, and you can't force people to think about you and compliment you. To assume that these are simply expected will only lead you to disappointment - you'd be surprised to hear that even very popular people may have similar questions to you.

There are a couple of things you can do here. Either you can make an effort to spend more time with others, so that you can build stronger and more equitable relationships, or, you can accept things as they are and change your outlook on them. For instance, rather than see it as a way to measure your worth, see it as opening up more time for important things in your life. Restructuring your view on it can work wonders, as I found.

You're right that other people will feel like this. Some people will continue to feel like this, while others will do something about it and feel happier. If you want to be happier and stop this feeling, I'd suggest doing something to make your life better! x

Much love <3
Last edited:


Thank you for taking the time to read my post & also for replying with some positive ideas on how I can change the way I think and feel about certain situations. I think that I should focus my attention on other activities and that way, when someone does make an effort with me it will mean a lot more as I wouldn't be expecting it. Like you said, I have the power to change my life so I might as well make a start by doing things that I enjoy and can benefit from no matter how small they may be.
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