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Does anybody feel trapped by their body/face?

Q

quilteddown10

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Joined
Apr 26, 2021
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Location
UK
It's getting so, so bad.

I can't leave the house without people making really unpleasant comments about me. Everyone stares. Some people even stop and stare, which is particularly humiliating. Laughing, vomiting noises, lots of 'Omg!'s. It is constant. I daren't go out in the daytime.

My parents (and my one friend, now long distance) say it doesn't matter and I need to grow a very thick skin but I'm finding it very hard to do that.

I just feel exposed and ashamed...and my thoughts on how to solve the problem are beginning to turn very dark :low:

Can anyone relate?
 
M

Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

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Aug 17, 2018
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India
Why do you think they stare at you? Is there something wrong with your face or body?
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Mar 31, 2015
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Australia
I know this won't help, but I'll say it anyway...

Those people who make rude and stupid comments or laugh at you and stare...what on EARTH is their problem? GROW THE F#$% UP! How would they feel if it was their wife, husband, mother, CHILD?

You shouldn't have to grow a thick skin - THEY need to grow UP.
 
Q

quilteddown10

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 26, 2021
Messages
1,002
Location
UK
I know this won't help, but I'll say it anyway...

Those people who make rude and stupid comments or laugh at you and stare...what on EARTH is their problem? GROW THE F#$% UP! How would they feel if it was their wife, husband, mother, CHILD?

You shouldn't have to grow a thick skin - THEY need to grow UP.
I know but......

... there's just something about the development of my face that has gone horribly, horribly wrong :low:.

I'm frightened to leave the house. It's really bad :low:
 
M

Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
1,421
Location
India
I know but......

... there's just something about the development of my face that has gone horribly, horribly wrong :low:.

I'm frightened to leave the house. It's really bad :low:

Unless you have a tumor on your face, I'm pretty sure you're imagining this. :)
 
Q

quilteddown10

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Joined
Apr 26, 2021
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Location
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Unless you have a tumor on your face, I'm pretty sure you're imagining this. :)
I wish this were true. I really do.

Trust me, a person can be singled out for looking 'freakish' in lots of different ways, attracting a constant stream of negative appraisal, without the need for a tumor.

I definitely hit that button in other people.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Mar 31, 2015
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I wish this were true. I really do.

Trust me, a person can be singled out for looking 'freakish' in lots of different ways, attracting a constant stream of negative appraisal, without the need for a tumor.

I definitely hit that button in other people.

I know I sound like a broken record here, but anyone who has a problem with your appearance is simply not GOOD enough to be in your life, and it's THEIR loss.
 
Q

quilteddown10

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 26, 2021
Messages
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Location
UK
I know I sound like a broken record here, but anyone who has a problem with your appearance is simply not GOOD enough to be in your life, and it's THEIR loss.
I appreciate your comment but the problem is the sheer number of people that pass comment.

It's quite terrifying for someone like me who just wants to be invisible.

I cant just casually dismiss this.

The staring and the comments are so bad, so constant, that I don't see how on earth I can turn it around and say 'They are the ones with the problem'.

It seems just obvious - literally - that it is in fact me who has the problem and I have no choice but to suffer the consequences of this.
 
B

basil and oregano

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Nov 9, 2021
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692
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Athens, Greece
I wish this were true. I really do.

Trust me, a person can be singled out for looking 'freakish' in lots of different ways, attracting a constant stream of negative appraisal, without the need for a tumor.

I definitely hit that button in other people.
People can be cruel. But your face, or any other part of you, says nothing about who you are as a person. Yes, it's not likely that they'll stop, anytime soon. But try to realise that there is no meaning at all to their jabs at you, other than their need to feel superior to someone. In other words, their very weakness is what drives them againist you. You are just unfortunate to have to deal with it. But it is not about your truth. You are not what they feel you are.

Some people are beautiful, some are ugly, some intelligent, some challenged. So what?
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,999
Location
Australia
I appreciate your comment but the problem is the sheer number of people that pass comment.

It's quite terrifying for someone like me who just wants to be invisible.

I cant just casually dismiss this.

The staring and the comments are so bad, so constant, that I don't see how on earth I can turn it around and say 'They are the ones with the problem'.

It seems just obvious - literally - that it is in fact me who has the problem and I have no choice but to suffer the consequences of this.

No. SOCIETY has the problem in this case.

If so many people around you are making comments and staring, this suggests to me that they were not raised to be respectful of others, that they are immature, that they are fearful of people they perceive as too different from them, and that they are ignorant.
 
Maitri

Maitri

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Oct 24, 2021
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I know what I am like. I admit it. I see someone really tall, really ugly, really fat, really anything, and I'm aware of it. Very aware. I try not to stare. Yet I also know that we are all unique as human beings. I know we are all of equal value. I believe society has to change.

Things are changing because many who in the past would have been "put away", or chose to keep out of sight, have put themselves out there, or have been put out there by people who cared beyond what most of us are capable of caring about. It all takes courage.

Remembering my schooldays, long ago now, in my junior school there were "midget" twins, or small people. Little terrors! But then, being young without a judgemental mind more undeveloped, I just accepted them. In a way they were just "mates" like everyone else. You don't seem to see many these days, but I do know that when seen I have a more instinctive acceptance. Easy to see why.

So really, what I am saying, is that any who recognise in themselves something they know to be seen as inviting stares and hurtful comments, if you have the courage to go out anyway then you are truly helping society to change, be better, for future generations.

Sorry, I know Its not me who needs that courage, I only offer my words and thoughts.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,999
Location
Australia
I know what I am like. I admit it. I see someone really tall, really ugly, really fat, really anything, and I'm aware of it. Very aware. I try not to stare. Yet I also know that we are all unique as human beings. I know we are all of equal value. I believe society has to change.

Things are changing because many who in the past would have been "put away", or chose to keep out of sight, have put themselves out there, or have been put out there by people who cared beyond what most of us are capable of caring about. It all takes courage.

Remembering my schooldays, long ago now, in my junior school there were "midget" twins, or small people. Little terrors! But then, being young without a judgemental mind more undeveloped, I just accepted them. In a way they were just "mates" like everyone else. You don't seem to see many these days, but I do know that when seen I have a more instinctive acceptance. Easy to see why.

So really, what I am saying, is that any who recognise in themselves something they know to be seen as inviting stares and hurtful comments, if you have the courage to go out anyway then you are truly helping society to change, be better, for future generations.

Sorry, I know Its not me who needs that courage, I only offer my words and thoughts.

I like this post.
 
Q

quilteddown10

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 26, 2021
Messages
1,002
Location
UK
No. SOCIETY has the problem in this case.

If so many people around you are making comments and staring, this suggests to me that they were not raised to be respectful of others, that they are immature, that they are fearful of people they perceive as too different from them, and that they are ignorant.
I see it completely the other way :low:

If so many people are doing it, then that tells me there must be something innate or reflexive about it. That is, it's normal.

The people doing it are young, old, male, female, black, white.

That tells me that I must be some sort of limit on what is socially acceptable.
 
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