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Does anybody ever get better?

SarahD

SarahD

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I am feeling very low. I am glad I joined the forum. Members are very supportive. Nearly everyone seems to be suffering to some extent. When one person has a crisis everyone rallies round and tries to help with advice and support, sometimes you can tell they are really saying "me too". However I have found it helpful to be involved with other people who know what it is like to go through all this.

So many people who have gone through the system, been churned up and chucked out. Still suffering. What is the point of it all?

I am so tired. How long do we have to do this?

Do you actually know anyone who has got better?
 

MarlieeB

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I don't think anyone actually gets properly better. More like they learn how to cope with things better or their circumstances get better.

I'm sick of fighting myself. I find helping others helps me cope. Not saying it the only reason why I help others but it's a good distraction for me. The busier I am on here the better. (just wish others would recognise that)

I also don't get triggered by the written word so that helps me on here.

Anyway I digress.

What is the point of it all? I guess it's that in the end something gives us a push I guess. I just wish we didn't have to go through so much first.

Huge :hug1:'s for you.

xxx
 
pepecat

pepecat

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Do you actually know anyone who has got better?
That's a tricky one for me..... I think it depends on what you mean by 'better'. I thought, naively as it turns out, that I would get better - in the sense of 'back to how I was before I got unwell this time'.
I have recurrent depression, and the most recent episode (started about 6 1/2 years ago) was by FAR the longest / worst I have ever had, and it's left it's mark on me.

I think now, for me, better is about better enough, or better 'different'. There are ways in which I am better than before - I'm far more aware of my emotions, and can figure out much more why I'm feeling the way I am, or if I'm reacting to things because that is actually how I feel or if its because I've gone into default reaction based on when I was a kid. I'm more understanding of other people, and less scared of their emotions as well. And I'm probably more 'grounded' in myself than I was before.

But I am also far more anxious at times than I ever was before. I worry about stupid stuff more than I used to. I also have days when my head won't shut up and all I can think about is ending it, which didn't happen before. Part of being more aware of emotions and how I'm feeling, I guess.

So, better for me is more about better enough (to be able to manage what's going on in my head, to figure out stuff, to ask for help if I need it), or better 'different', in that I'm not the same person as I was before, but you know what, I think that's ok.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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I think for some people there is such a thing as better. If you're depressed because you're alone, and then you find your dream partner, and your depression goes away, then you are definitely better! But I do think it's a minority.

What seems to happen for most people is they find a level of medication they are comfortable with, they have a few talking therapies which give them greater insight, they find a new spiritual life or greater knowledge about themselves, they learn to cope better as time goes on with all the little tricks you find out. It's all incremental improvement, and you may never be totally as blissfully and ignorantly happy as before your great crisis, but you are a bit better.

I noticed it at my day centre as well. People started attending, and when their six months were up they would be stronger, more robust, more capable. In a way that community was better off than the one we have here online, with the benefits of seeing each other regularly face to face and doing things together. But it all helps.

So I suppose the answer is, you're not going to be the same. But it is possible to get well enough.
 
E

Emmarose35

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You said you are feeling very low - and I know from my own experience when I feel like that my thoughts are negative - what's the point etc - can't see positive -
Yes people do get better and there is always hope-
For me it's been an on off situation when it's on its on and when it's off it's liberating - through it all there is always me - I'm either with or without sick mind - I am not my mind -..
Low thinking and low mood are a state that for some reason we humans buy into -- clearing the past has been essential for me and now I am looking at my self worth and how I feel about myself -
I remember reading once that depression is stuck anger - that struck a chord with me -
Getting support and help is essential I've found both fr therapy and talking with others
Making changes takes time but even one little action that feels right can add up to feeling better - it's just knowing what actions to take to get mentally and emotionally well and functional - then life can look brighter xx
 
S

Sanguinius

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Unless they've found a cure for depression I'm unaware of I don't think it ever stops but 'gets better'.. it does. It comes from ourselves but requires others to help us and our poorly minds know that and try to shut other people out with excuses. For me it's that I'm the only single one amongst my friends and I feel like I'm interupting their love lives and happiness with my loneliness. But logically I know they are there for me, though it requires a certain intiative to get them to notice in a subtle way.

The system does very little to help us long term. I've been finding it's more time effective to better myself and get it out in other ways. Turn the feelings into something proactive and express it. Exercise does do wonders I will say now. A martial art is a great idea I'm currently experimenting with. I turn it to anger and use it to motivate me. Eventually you get blind to it all and when the session's over you realise you've done an hours exercise and getting your emotions out.

It helps me. It's about finding that emotional release.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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I think it depends on what someone's difficulties are, what their circumstances are and what support is available to them. I also think people who have had normal upbringings and their MH issues didn't start until adulthood are more likely to recover but I may be wrong on that.

I've seen people with addictions make good recoveries in 12 step programmes but they do have to keep going to meetings etc and the ones who did well did not have co-morbid MH issues, and were largely from quite well-off backgrounds.

My sister got better and is in a long term stable relationship, has held down a demanding job for many years which she enjoys, has friends etc. But she was diagnosed with depression not PD (which is what I have), she also left an abusive home quite young and at the time she was offered help there was proper long term therapy available on the NHS; she was also willing to try medications and go along with psychiatry (I never have been) and she is someone who can get sympathy off psychiatrists (they always believed her version of our home life whereas mine never have).

I think it also depends on the definition of better. For MH services this seems to consist of role functioning and not bothering other people. That does not necessarily mean people feel any better - it might just be that someone with BPD learns to draw on their arm rather than use a SH method when they are feeling awful.

I don't think the current system is geared towards helping people get better but rather minimising their support and kicking them out asap and getting them working again. Most people judge by the outsides, so will assume someone is better when they are really not, like saying someone with anorexia is better because they have gained weight, when they are actually feeling suicidal about it.
 
Prospector

Prospector

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I don't think it's about getting better. I think it's about learning to love and accept ourselves and others dispite our mental and emotional problems. Progress may be slow, but love is patient.
 
U

ubolt

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Feb 5, 2015
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Oz
I am feeling very low.

I am so tired. How long do we have to do this?

Do you actually know anyone who has got better?
YES! People do get better.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in July of last year. I was suicidal leading up to it, I went to sleep hoping I wouldn’t wake up. I was admitted to the mental health unit for a couple of weeks. Around the time it happened I was living independently, my grandfather had died, my mother, an alcoholic who I supported was facing jail for her fifth DUI and I was working evenings, weekends and nights at the hospital. I had no support from anyone, and the paranoia, ideas of reference and constant narrative became overwhelming.

To better explain, four years previous to that I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when I was experiencing positive symptoms of psychosis for a prolonged period – delusions of grandeur and persecution, disorganised thought, paranoia, ideas of reference and delusions that people could read my thoughts and control my behaviour. When I was discharged from hospital I went back into an unhealthy home environment that didn’t promote recovery; the ideas of reference and the paranoia persisted and I stopped taking the anti-psychotic eighteen months later.

Within just a few months of being discharged from hospital this time, all of my symptoms have completely resolved with a low dose anti-psychotic. I joined the forum too because I was feeling low and thought it would be the best place to be heard, but I’m finding it more helpful to listen, I certainly no longer feel alone with my experiences. I live with friends with now who are very understanding which has helped my recovery. Since the moment I got here I’ve been working hard to improve my self-esteem. I absolutely believe that emotional health and how view ourselves has a relationship to our symptoms and is extremely important to our recovery, which is really difficult to achieve if we already feel low, and the diagnosis always seems to have the same effect on a person’s self-esteem and confidence.

You may find that writing really helps. For me, to begin with, when I finish writing about how I honestly feel it, it’s out on paper and I can sit back from it and see how I really I think. I guess they call it a process, because once I’ve written something one day I follow on with it the next, and the next, and the next. I realise the awful way I think about myself, and I would never say those things to another human being, but find it acceptable for myself because of the self-esteem. That’s the first part and take as long as you need to on that. Gradually, challenge the way you think about yourself. Keep a positive thought journal on the side. It sounded a little silly to me a first, the positive things were so insignificant, but by thinking positively it will actually help because it puts you in the right frame of mind to become more open and creative regarding your problem solving ability, which you then apply to your other writing and how you see yourself.

I’ve found that one of the hardest things in counselling is to talk about what has really affected me. Most of us can sum it up straight away in a few words, but the problem is still there. Sometimes it takes a long time to say what we really need to and to know it for ourselves. Our emotions can be irrational and immature, but it’s essential to express them first, as they are, and validate them, before progressing forward.

Exercise and the regular endorphin release is really important to, it’s the motivation to do it that is the hard part. I found what keeps me motivated is the thought I keep – ‘I am doing this for my emotional health because I don’t want to feel the way I have felt any longer.’

It’s perpetual. The more confidence you build and the more your self-esteem improves, the more capable you will feel of achieving the goals you’ve set for your life.

You are not your diagnosis. It is not your identity. A person can’t ‘go home again’, but they can find a new one.

Hope this helps. :)
 
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E

Emmarose35

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U bolt
This is the best piece of recovery writing I have ever seen !
Very inspirational to read and has given me a lot of hope and practical ideas x
Thank you very much
It's perpetual ' and ' you are not your diagnosis are so motivating
I really think that's what's missing for recovery is the practical ideas and real motivation for people who are going through it -
If u ever write a book I shall buy it :)
X Emma
 
nonotme

nonotme

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Do you actually know anyone who has got better?
yes i know a few people who have had long sustained recoveries. depends on many thing but lots of people have spells of mental health illness and never relapse.
 
tabbykitten

tabbykitten

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In my case the anxiety and depression are always there to some extent but I am learning to cope better as time goes on. At least now I don’t get depressed and anxious because I suffer from the conditions!
Depends on the form your illness takes though. For people who are depressed due to a set of circumstances in their lives then I think they can make a full recovery.
 
Palladian

Palladian

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I have got better over time and I'm optimistic about the future.
 
krista

krista

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like everyone says, getting better is a vague concept. it means something else to everyone.

I think I have gotten better because of this forum. It helps me.
and MH services have helped a bit as well.
but I don't think I'll ever be a "normal", you know. and I'm not even hoping for that any more. I aim for "functional" in my own ways.
 
R

ramboghettouk

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i know of people who cope off medication and live independently, some with jobs, whether thats better, that was when i was younger methinks, at one point i was counted as better, now at my age i'm more concerned with proving illness to the dwp than better

i agree it's how you define it, the drugs i think have the result of reducing hospital admissions, whether they reduce the chance of unemployment or been single

Theres also the label side
 
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