Does any one else perform experiments on their voices cause I do is it just me.

[hello513]

I think we all do this at first, & it seems like the same results happen, we get messed with. It seems like a hazing ritual, "we're the CIA, we're the cops, we're GOD!" I've read so many times where people complain that this was their first interactions with their voices & that happened to me as well. I used to call them PsyOps in the beginning & even went as far as to ask what my mission was lol. I really think that doctors should let patients know not to interract or look deep into their voices & to establish where they stand with the voice early on.. like "Voice, i would like you to know that i really get uncomfortable when you speak to me and will try my best to ignore you blah blah" .. make that known early on and leave it as is. Ofc i know how hard it is to not agrivated making you want to respond back but i believe a lot of people in the future would do well to try 100% in ignoring.

The "research" phase is so tidious, i have countless journals dedicated to it. What a waste of time & energy. You think your getting somewhere but imo it only digs the hole deeper. Get diagnosed, get meds, move towards positive grounding techniques/hobbies.

I agree with virtually every word you said. There is no damn point interacting with these voices this cursed disease. In fact I had to figure out on my own ignoring them decreases symptoms.

My voices claimed to be jesus Christ, and the devil so of course I am inclined to give them the middle finger.

They accuse me of being the antichrist at times, and at other times the archangel Michael the credibility of this little shit is shot to hell as far as I am concerned

 

[hello513]

You state "I do not agree with the current methodology of not directly confronting the delusions" and firmly neither do I. Please read attachment and criticise it for me. Publicly if you would. Good on you. I strongly agree with everything you say!

I have just begun to read and I totally agree with your first premise in that agreeing that the beliefs are firmly delusional I will read on and comment piece by piece.

 

[hello513]

I think we all do this at first, & it seems like the same results happen, we get messed with. It seems like a hazing ritual, "we're the CIA, we're the cops, we're GOD!" I've read so many times where people complain that this was their first interactions with their voices & that happened to me as well. I used to call them PsyOps in the beginning & even went as far as to ask what my mission was lol. I really think that doctors should let patients know not to interract or look deep into their voices & to establish where they stand with the voice early on.. like "Voice, i would like you to know that i really get uncomfortable when you speak to me and will try my best to ignore you blah blah" .. make that known early on and leave it as is. Ofc i know how hard it is to not agrivated making you want to respond back but i believe a lot of people in the future would do well to try 100% in ignoring.

The "research" phase is so tidious, i have countless journals dedicated to it. What a waste of time & energy. You think your getting somewhere but imo it only digs the hole deeper. Get diagnosed, get meds, move towards positive grounding techniques/hobbies.

You state "I do not agree with the current methodology of not directly confronting the delusions" and firmly neither do I. Please read attachment and criticise it for me. Publicly if you would. Good on you. I strongly agree with everything you say!

Further I agree with your conclusion that is not a failure to debunk but a falure to not buy in as I bought in to my delusions and that made it worse.

My delusions started as simple delusions and then became hallucinatory.

 

[hello513]

You state "I do not agree with the current methodology of not directly confronting the delusions" and firmly neither do I. Please read attachment and criticise it for me. Publicly if you would. Good on you. I strongly agree with everything you say!

While I was a statisitcs tutor and consider myself well versed in science I was just accepted to nursing school and was a statistics and algebra tutor I skipped over much of it to get to your point absent the scientific language which I could sometimes comprehend.

I agree with you as far as I can tell on some of your main points confronting the delusions as lies certainly I agree with.

Further I agree that a deepening of symptoms is not a failure to debunk but a failure to not buy into the lies.

I certainly find both above true in my case.

As far as your conclusions that we cannot produce hallucinations that can defeat the null hypothesis I doubt any one can disagree with that. Though I would critizise so the hell what it means nothing.

What I mean by this is hallucinations and delusions are by definition personal experiences expecting them to be repeatable is for lack of a better word expecting to much.

I think to properly address this issue one needs to treat the commanianlity not the personal delusion of each individual they are all at their core lies unique to each individual one size does not neccesarily fit all.


So to properly treat the disease they must all be treated as lies whether it be the CIA or in my case a voice claiming to be jesus Christ. They are all at their core lies, but each lie manifests differently which is of course why I encourage confrontations with the lie.

 

[Emed]

Aw

I do thought experiments on my voices these experiments have finely lead me to the confirmation these voices are just my mind making up complete wild ass lies period not a telepathic conversation

The experiments range from recording real events and comparing them to what the voices tell me just happened to hunting down the source of the voice only to find out its just a damn dog barking and my mind makes up crap trying to convince me that dog is a telepathic person over their talking

I have done the experiments that to me prove beyond a shadow of a doubt its all complete rubbish in my head and my mind on lies.

I was wondering does any one else toy with and experiment on their voices cause I do.

Lately Ive noticed I can stop them mid sentence and through shear force of will make them say what I want them to say. Then I tried this on real people, and it never works only on the disembodied variety.

This has lead me to the inevitable conclusion its my brain on bullcrap. Lately I have often been noticing the real external triggers for my brain making these voices up, and its pathetically obvious stuff like a dog barking and crap so lately I have just been making them sing stupid songs and all in all attempting to make a complete mockery of them.

I just for instance lately started making them recite I am a little teapot to both amuse myself at their stupidity, and reinforce the point is my brain feeding me crap. Frustratingly the voices don't seem to get the point I already know what they are beyond a shadow of a doubt, but then one would expect a hallucinatory delusion not to have real cognitive ability to get it any ways so I am just going to make them sing stupid songs to amuse me from now on, or hunt down the triggers to cut them off as they speak and get some bombastic new meds to shut them up for awhile.

Awesome so cool your just who I’ve been looking to talk to! I guess I want to prove mine wrong to! Their so details and it’s me and my sadness against the powerful human mind! Can we talk personally! Email?

 

[Emed]

Who else feels physical symptoms also! I feel like someone is breathing on my head and neck and tap kisses and chills and well you know! Anyone?

 

[hello513]

Aw

Awesome so cool your just who I’ve been looking to talk to! I guess I want to prove mine wrong to! Their so details and it’s me and my sadness against the powerful human mind! Can we talk personally! Email?

Yes of course sorry for the late response I sent you a personal message with my email

 

[sscott]

Below is one of the many experiments I have run, to investigate my voices:


27th September 2019 1250

... TJ and GK have been offered, and have been with each other since I declined the CEX offer for my spare laptop...
1251...
1255
Ryan next door leaving.....but didn't leave
1307...1340...1359.....1408......
approx 2300
I used the last half of the $10.00 to test for response to me masturbating on a towel on the TV room floor, in front of the TV. This time, as per the last say 2300 times, they imposed somatosensory hallucinations, in combination with tactile hallucinations (to prohibit feelings from my penis being percieved), and mostly non-stop objective interrogation on subjects including "Why are we doing this to you", "can you cum Scott", "Lata has just died. She was appropaching your door. That noise you heard was her attempting to open the door, but anyone who tries, loses their life", "where have your feelings gone Scott" and so on. They also talked about the fact, again, that GK was with TJ, but this time, Sally? was also with them.

AT approximately 1730 I heard girls voices, so I looked out from my opaque verticle blinds, and observed two Phillipino yuoung women, small build, both long black hair ties into a 'pony tail'. They proceeded down towards the rear of thje block. When I saw them, they were walking along the path, and were just past unit 11. I looked out because no girls live at Gunyah, and because my AVHs tell me every single tiome without fail, whenever I consume CMTH, that they are in a unit at the rear of the block, making porn movies.

Within 5 minutes of me observing the two Phillipino girls, I once again heard a girls laughter, so I looked out again for the same reason, and saw an Indian looking young man, wearing a baseball cap on backwards, escorting a early 22ish cuacasion female, with long golden/blond straight hair, a red long sleeve T-Shirt, and blue jeans. I only saw them for approximately 3 seconds, before I shut the blinds and gave them their privacy. I was immediately (after shutting the blinds) told by my AVHs, in particular, someone claiming to be the young Indian or Pakistani man, that I should not get excrutiatingly painfully jealous, because she was a "call girl".

2329

SO apparently, no one can come to my door and knock or anything, because they will lose their life, seemingly in less than 5 seconds, as per Lata. I wish they would kill me (rapidly, mercifully), instead of people/someone who is attempting to knock on my door, probably for the most decent, and kind reasons.

My AVH who include the two Police officers who booked me recently, C. Callendar and C. Steward, were asking me something, whenh a different voice interrupted and asked if I would like a 5 pound bag of CMTH. I replied "Yes please", because I now believe that no colluding telepathic, telekinetic (unofficial)Freemason can come to my door and attempt to gain entry. I think the two Hornsby PC's were talking about the fact that my Hyundia had just been stolen again, in the previous couple of minutes. We shall see. I expect that he (Ray Baker - towie) might return it again, as he did at the shops a fortnoight earlier, and as he did a fortnight before that, when the car was left on George street, because of my driving prohibition.

2347

They are putting me to sleep now, so I will not be able to update the status of my stolen white i20 Hyundai BR24FI.

But I nearly forgot the main point of this journal entry. They ask questions like the examples outlined above, non-stop, intentionally to distract me and prevent me from fantasising, and the questions are always hateful and contemptuous, and sarcastic and hostile. They do this in combinatioon with the attenuation of my feelings, because they claim that the narcotics I consume, affect them. So after more than 4 hours of being hated and prevented from experiencing any sexually gratifying feelings, and stopped from having any happy thoughts, they suddenly changed my sentience, and all of a sudden, I was overcome by the strongest, best feelings you can imagine. So I immediately stopped matsurbating, to specifically prove, that even when experiencing the most powerful, pleasurable feelings, I CAN SHOW SOME SELF RESTRAINT!

2356

 

[smallgeezer]

hello513, that sounds like a very intelligent method of coping with voices.

If only the doctors and psychiatrists would recommend this instead of just doping everyone up on chemicals which don't cure anyone.

 

[sscott]

I absolutely agree. So muchj so that I have written 2 essays about it, and I presenting it to some doctors to get some feedback. The first one is called "Essay Concerning Credibility Of Science Model Conceptualizing AVH 210719.pdf" (attached), and the second one is called "Is It Dangerous - Delusional Acceptance 081218" If you want to read the second one, contact me.

Here is another experiment I conducted and wrote up:
210919 0216

S: they said the “killed” a ghost tonight. And they were talking about N, my friend from Perth. However, if they knew about N and me (I think I was working for Shop-A-Docket at the time), then they know, or can know, if it was W’s daughter in the child pornography I downloaded and looked at, and if so, who took the photo, and whose penis was in her hand!

M/FM?: (silence)

S: I heard on at least two occasions earlier while I was busy, that “we lost”, and once “he won”. This won’t be true, that’s for certain. I am going to present this journal entry to my drug counsellor, and ask her if I need to go to rehab. They also stated earlier that “R” a girl at my Recovery Group meeting on Thursday, was ‘meant for me’, that is “we organised her for you”. I replied – “I don’t deal in proprietary rights over humans”.

FM?: I’ll tell you something Scott, that you are in big trouble. Big trouble indeed.
S: Well I have made sure that you are not.

FM?: Why do I do this to you Scott?

S: It’s obvious, if you know the context, and the audience (size and some names)

FM?: Why do I do this to you?

S: Well I believe you repeat yourself so that you seem more like hallucinations than humans.

M?: Don’t forget we know you are fooling yourself

S: (no reply)

M?: You know what (SM), (silence) [I believe there was silence then because I wrote the correct initials. But who knows?]

0243

……. (silence) ……..

SM?: you know why?

S: No

M?: I’m not telling you

Since they are quiet tonight, I will offer this transcript to read:

14th June 2019 2041

M?: what do you know about video forensics

s: quite a lot

?M: what do you know about IP addresses

s: virtually nill

?M: why do you ask ?

s: I think you will shortly realise that you asked, and I merely replied

M?: yes, why do I ask

s: I don't enquire

M?: why do you think I ask

s: because, for you, everything must be done right, proper, and by the book, so you are requiring to ascertain my propensity to foil your efforts

M?: what is your IP address

s: I ’m obviously hoping you know already

M?: why is that

s: so you can stitch me up, and so on...

M?: cause that implies..

s: (interrupting). Yes, it mandates that, sorry about interrupting

M?: what happens if I fail

s: you won't

M?: what happens if you fail

s: all imprints of what has happened and what got achieved disappear.... by the way...I firmly believe all IP addresses will be valid and correct, and not changed or altered in any way

m?: WILL YOU KILL YOURSELF

S: yes, I absolutely will; but only if I can get proof you exist and are human, because I cannot throw away so much health care provision, by killing myself for an hallucination.

M?: hey S, what is your st george bank number?

s: you see right now, I'm logging in

M?: why don't you just go in and buy that? (referring to what is on my computer screen)

s: i might. It depends what you say over the next few minutes

 

[smallgeezer]

I think I am going to try this technique more. I don't think I have tried it before.

However, I have previously found that the people talking to me do give me real information which I couldn't have possibly known on my own, such as correct phone numbers, names of people etc.

 

[sscott]

I think I am going to try this technique more. I don't think I have tried it before.

However, I have previously found that the people talking to me do give me real information which I couldn't have possibly known on my own, such as correct phone numbers, names of people etc.

Yes, I absolutely agree. Unbelievable isn't it? However, what is more amazing to me, is the lack of accurate information. Over many years of 'journalizing' (keeping data - 1st Person transcripts, as above), it is near impossible for the voices to get so much absolutely wrong. If the voices were random, they should get an ampunt of information correct. If they are caused by the things the psychiatrists suspect, they should get quite a lot correct. But is statistically nearly impossible for them to get so much wrong. Do you know what I mean?

 

[sscott]

While I was a statisitcs tutor and consider myself well versed in science I was just accepted to nursing school and was a statistics and algebra tutor I skipped over much of it to get to your point absent the scientific language which I could sometimes comprehend.

I agree with you as far as I can tell on some of your main points confronting the delusions as lies certainly I agree with.

Further I agree that a deepening of symptoms is not a failure to debunk but a failure to not buy into the lies.

I certainly find both above true in my case.

As far as your conclusions that we cannot produce hallucinations that can defeat the null hypothesis I doubt any one can disagree with that. Though I would critizise so the hell what it means nothing.

What I mean by this is hallucinations and delusions are by definition personal experiences expecting them to be repeatable is for lack of a better word expecting to much.

I think to properly address this issue one needs to treat the commanianlity not the personal delusion of each individual they are all at their core lies unique to each individual one size does not neccesarily fit all.


So to properly treat the disease they must all be treated as lies whether it be the CIA or in my case a voice claiming to be jesus Christ. They are all at their core lies, but each lie manifests differently which is of course why I encourage confrontations with the lie.

Please read my reply Nov 27 2019 (AEST) to something mentioned on this thread. I am really wanting to hear a response from someone with good statistical knowledge.