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Doctor's knowledge regarding medication vs my own experience

T

telemetry9

Guest
Hello everyone.

Thank you in advance to anyone who can empathize with my own experience and for anything you can share with me.

I have now reached the stage after a series of negative events with counsellors/doctors that a friend very kindly accompanies me on appointments to my G.P.

On the last occasion I tried to explain to the G.P. that the medication I have been taking for about a year has now begun to stop working. After 20 years of living with this illness I can begin to recognize when medication begins to lose its "fizz" in dealing with the depression. It is a slow process that creeps up on me without me realizing it and then I realize life has become much more painful and dark and the days seem like endurance courses.

I tried to explain to her but she said that my experience of medication losing its efficacy has no "science" behind it and that it isn't "logical". Apart from feeling really humiliated (already feeling pretty awful before I saw her); I now feel she failed to listen to my own experience.

I took the whole experience as incredibly negative and that she was humiliating me in front of my friend.

When I went home I managed to pull several articles about medical folk researching the known phenomena of anti-depressant "poop out"; when meds seem to stop working for quite a large number of people who live with long term; endogenous depression.

I'm tired of explaining or justifying myself to these people. So tired of it. I really count myself fortunate to still be alive and it is only through my own insight and faith that has happened. Medication has been the greatest aid for me as I've done the whole therapy thing a few times in the past now.

She has referred me to a consultant psychiatrist because she honestly said she didn't have the knowledge to take the next step.

I'm scared. It's so hard for me to trust people in this field as they have put me through some awful experiences and made my illness worse.

I just wanted to write this as I know I need to get this out of me. The thoughts are just going round my head of being judged and considered weak and self indulgent.

Thank you
Robert.
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
I'm tired of explaining or justifying myself to these people. So tired of it.
It gets tiring doesn't it; for our lives to become an explanation & justification - to have our lives & experiences denied & unacknowledged. To be un-listened to.

It's so hard for me to trust people in this field as they have put me through some awful experiences and made my illness worse.
In many ways I feel exactly the same way.

Maybe the best solution is to have nothing to do with bio-medicine, as little to do with general society as possible - & to find alternative methods of recovery?
 
T

telemetry9

Guest
Thank you apotheosis.

It's just nice to hear someone empathize with part of my own battle.

robert.
 
M

mad as a hatter

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
i know how u feel i,ve got a constamt battle with these doctors at times got 2 the stage i won,t let them off with it ne more i tell them how i feel about them if they don,t like it they can lump it but they,ve pushed me into this corner i now feel with them
 
T

telemetry9

Guest
I think you're right there in not letting them away with arrogance and assumption. Sometimes it helps to hear someone say that they have the courage to fight them - it seems not many have the guts to.

I am really getting to the stage were I feel I just hate them and I know that isn't healthy. A big part of it is that they don't understand or simply can't - maybe it's wrong of me to expect them to. The problem is when someone is "trying" to "help" when they don't understand they can do more harm than good.

I often feel I am in a position of knowing more than my own Doctor and of course I do - I've had to find ways to survive this illness over the past 20 odd years. It would be nice to have someone who simply listens for 10 minutes rather than telling me to do this or that. I don't have the will or energy for any projects of theirs at the moment.
 
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