Doctors are supposed to help (trigger to any health anxious)

H

happyhappy

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#1
I saw my shrink yesterday and have felt ill ever since. I can't function properly, I could't sleep, I can't eat, I am throwing up with anxiety.
How this came about was he was giving me a hard time about drinking which I am honestly not doing too much of. I don't think he believed me. He was going on at me about how I don't worry about taking a drink but I do worry about taking medication. I said that I know what I am taking with alcohol, it has been around for millions of years but I emphasised I am hardly drinking at all just now.
Then I asked "How long will it take for my medications to screw my liver?" to which he replied "Probably your 60's. " I was floored. I didn't expect that. I expected him to say I would be okay as long as I kept up my blood tests. I don't know what else he said as I wasn't taking it in. Then he asked me to up my lithium! I walked out.
All the time I have been on meds I have had problems taking it. I have really really struggled. I have told him I feel it poisoning me and he has dismissed me. Now he tells me it is!
I watched my dad die from his liver packing in. For him it was cancer but liver failure is all the same, regardless. It still has the same effect on your body and it is horrible. I don't want my children seeing me die like that.
If I am going to live I want to live til I am really old and see my grandchildren and maybe even great grandchildren. I want to be around to help them as long as possible but it seems my options are take med and die as soon as you have retired, or don't take meds and make your family's lives a misery now or end up dead soon.
I caused all of this. All of this illness. I have ruined our lives and screwed everything up. I can't fix it, I don't know how to fix it. I have to keep on living for other people but today I want to live for me.......but why?

HH
 
A

Apotheosis

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#2
I understand the Dilemma.

As hard as it is; & there are no guarantees - although getting proper help & support best increases the chances - People Can & Do fully recover from these conditions medication free. Healing & full recovery is possible.

The problem is that mainstream medical services & society in general does not support such approaches; & so a lot of the work has to come from yourself if you decided to take such a route.

Sometimes a compromise is best; especially for the time being. Getting to the lowest dose possible of a single drug to maintain stability (if that is necessary for best well being); & using as many approaches & systems of healing for as healthy a life as possible.

The fact is that all psychiatric drugs are damaging & dangerous - some more so than others, & variable with different individuals & physiological make up.

Although I understand that you enjoy alcohol; & even if your alcohol intake is sensible - consuming alcohol while taking psychiatric drugs is inadvisable; because of drug interactions & the increased risk of damage - especially in relation to psychiatric drugs that are known to damage the liver. You would simply be healthier to not drink any alcohol.

In my own case - I went through 4 hospitalisations in my teens & 20's. I struggled with addiction, alcoholism & multiple breakdowns. At the age of 25 I was placed on a very high dose of a neuroleptic drug (anti-psychotic). After a year of being on this drug, being zombified, sleeping & eating the whole time; with ballooning weight - I got scared that I was going to die. I stopped the drug in a matter of weeks; became very unwell & ended up back in hospital on another section. It was the start of very seriously starting to look at this entire subject & at what best to do about things. I started by refusing high doses of meds & multiple meds. It took a while longer; but I totally stopped drink & street drugs & have been T-Total 10 years now. I have looked in depth at as many of the different perspectives to recovery & healing from MH conditions as I can; & have tried to apply as much of it all as possible.

I have made progress - I do maintain a low dose of one medication; but have made significant improvements in my life; compared to where I have come from; & as to how things were in the past.

One day I do hope that I can get successfully totally medication free - it is possible. I hate being on this medication - It is a case of weighing up the pro & cons of either staying on a medication; or potentially attempting a withdrawal - But there is no doubt serious implications & consequences to both the short & long term use of psychiatric drugs.

I realise that MH services & Doctors are not always very forthcoming as to the risks & potential health effects of drug treatments - But I am amazed in my own life; at how so few people show so little concern for dependency on these substances; & seem unaware that there are any other options for dealing with & addressing a MH condition.

This book may be helpful to you -

Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs: Successful Withdrawal from Neuroleptics, Antidepressants, Lithium, Carbamazepine and Tranquillizers

By

Peter Lehmann

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Coming-Psyc...UTF8&coliid=I3TMJFH36DZHCY&colid=MATMNAL7N1NI

& the 'Harm Reduction Guide To Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs & Withdrawal'

http://theicarusproject.net/HarmReductionGuideComingOffPsychDrugs

& there is a wealth of information & resources on this forum, on-line, in books & organisations.
 
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megirl

megirl

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Apr 9, 2010
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#5
I for me a from this time last year was commenced on lamotrigine. I had severe reaction to it like one in 10000 people but we pushed on. Finally with caution and daily blood tests for months I was able to stay on it. After probably 5 weeks after commencing it it was (as I have always said) like a switch in my brain was flicked. Wow I finally was able to enjoy the little pleasures in life. I have been depression free for about 1 year now. For one year without depression is worth dying young. My Dad died at 62 but all the struggles he had with his mental health I believe his last 12 or so years were his happiest or peaceful. Thats how I feel. I could have cancer, diabetes, etc and yeh my life probably will be shortened but for me and many quality is better than quantity. I also believe if you can live in and for the moment than your life will be more fulfilling (I still have yet to master this)
 

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