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Do you treat yourself the way others treated you in private?

TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
284
Location
On The Train
Do you have trouble being nice to yourself, even in private? I have escaped abuse many times and now I have a place to myself but still I am afraid of misplacing things, using things, buying things for myself, all sorts of whatever because I am afraid some one might disapprove and they will punish me. It's silly I know but it's my automatic reaction. I am always looking for that person who might lash out but there is no one there.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Forum Guide
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Apr 9, 2011
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33,243
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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
it is hard to trust ourselves when we have been abused in the past but you deserve to feel good about yourself and treat yourself well
are you in therapy for these feelings and thoughts?
lots of love Lu xxx
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
284
Location
On The Train
Yes my therapist said I should do one nice thing a day for myself but I always forget :)
 
megirl

megirl

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Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
7,260
Location
NZ
Yes I believe how we have been treated when growing up as children we get programmed to believe what others tell us, especially adults/parents etc.
Its hard to learn how to nurture ourselves when we havnt been nurtured ourselves.
The fear of doing something nice for myself as I dont deserve it.

Gosh I thought people that like themselves are weird and that's not the norm.

But that was how I was bought up.
Through friends my husband (now ex husband) its nice to be nurtured.
I still struggled to look after myself and nurture myself,
So finally good therapist wonderful mental health support people I am on track.
Its a lot to learn xx
 
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