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Do you think this is PTSD?

K

Kimbracat

New member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Lowell MA
So this is all started in about August. I had smoked some weed at my sister's house.
I've only smoked about four or five times in my entire life because it basically gives me a panic attack. Idk why I tried it again. Anyways so I smoked and apparently my sister asked if I was alright and I went into a full blown attack. I assume it was a panic attack but I'm not sure. Everything started repeating. My sister was saying the same things over and over. It was like deja Vu that was repeating on a loop. I was screaming to call 911 because it was so scary. I was thrashing on the floor and unable to comprehend what was going on. It was like my whole body was consumed by terror.
The next thing I know I woke up in bed the next morning. My sister said it lasted around 15 minutes and then they got me in bed and I went to sleep. But the thing is is the terror is still there. I was paranoid. I felt like it was a glitch in the matrix. Like somehow the simulation I was in glitched while I was high. I saw everything as it really was. Nothing is real, we're living in a simulation. I somehow got out of mine for little bit and felt true terror. That's why everything was repeating itself. Something was wrong with my simulation.

As the days went on I stopped being so scared and felt more normal. But it happened again. I didn't even smoke! That's the scary part. I was drunk though. So the panic set in and everything was repeating itself again. This time I was home with my husband and he called 911. As soon as the ambulance got here I started to calm down. I felt that if something really was happening they could help me. They brought me to the hospital but after waiting a few hours we went home.

Now I only get the feeling when I have deja Vu. Everything floods back in, i get so scared. And I question reality. It only lasts about thirty seconds though.

I did end up seeing my primary care doctor. She said it's PTSD from my childhood. I will admit I had a horrific childhood full of trauma. I've experienced other signs of PTSD but nothing like this. I don't like some smells or sounds. And I get very uncomfortable when anything reminds me of my dad.

Idk guys, maybe I just needed to write this out. I think it's something more than PTSD and I'm scared. I've talked with my family about it but it's hard to explain true terror. My husband has been amazing and has been supporting me. He helps me do the five questions when I'm having deja Vu. Ya know five things I can see, feel, hear, smell, taste.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this with there PTSD.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
297
Location
Scotland
Weed and alcohol are the worse if you`re suffering from trauma. Weed is not a smart thing to do as it can cause psychosis and paranoia. Alcohol is a depressant and it seems you are sensitive to both.

You sound you like you could do with a course of counselling of some sort relating to your childhood, possibly medication as well.
 
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PaigeTWoods

Active member
Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
35
Hi there kimbracat,

I know exactly what you are talking about, I actually call it “the loop”! It happened me before after smoking weed (but I was also dealing with trauma at the time) and I felt I had finally seen things as they really were and it was terrifying. I felt like Sandra Bullock in gravity when she gets cut off from the station and spins endlessly in space with nothing solid to ground me.

now I had a similar experience before my trauma on weed but I woke up the next day and laughed about it, this time however, that terror stayed on. I went counselling and learned I was depersonalised from trauma, the weed did not help at all!

so no there is nothing else wrong with you trust me. I know you feel insane but Iknow by how you are writing that you are far from it! Counselling will help you so much. But I know exactly how you feel and I promise you are ok, the world isn’t glitching, your brain is a little because it’s overwhelmed. it will go back to normal just look after it!
 
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whatsgoingon2020

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
18
Location
UK
I search the forum for thr word 'Matrix' because that is the closest thing(that and a malfunctioing atomaton that just realised it is a robot form westworld) I can think of to describe these feeling that I keep getting..

Anyway I have been feeling something similar...it started with small episoded and recently got worse.

It's like the sub concious is in a panic because it can't figure out if the world is realy or prove existence and how it works. It makes me panic....crazy feeling:(
 
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whatsgoingon2020

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
18
Location
UK
@Kimbracat How are you now? Hope better....I don't know exactly how you feel but it must be horrible. The worst part of it is that no one else would even understand that isn't going through it.
 
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