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Do you think this is all in my head? Have I made it up?

A

asdf1

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Joined
Feb 19, 2015
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4
I've been thinking, and I'm really confused. I have been having contamination fears for the last 8 or so months, after coming into contact with a pesticide. A few weeks before this, I had come off a really strong medication (a high dose) which is used to treat a number of psychiatric conditions (but it was used on me for a completely different condition that has nothing to do with mental health). I've been cleaning and washing ever since, trying to remove any contamination I may have brought home. Trying to avoid certain things, but when they come in to contact with other things it all builds up if that makes sense :panic: . I get like this urge, I tell myself i'm being stupid, but its like something is making me do it, like this nagging feeling. But I have never ever had any problems with anxiety etc.

When I think about it, I have had these sorts of urges previously throughout my life (i'm 23 now), like I knew I had turned the cooker off, but I would get out of bed to make sure I did. The same with the tap, front door etc. So much so I would actually push down really hard on the buttons to just be sure 'there is no possible way it can be on' if that makes sense. I've just thought of that as me being silly, or just a worrier in general, a bit of a chicken. But since this whole thing has happened, sometimes I feel like I'm just exaggerating. I wash my hands so much that they bleed daily. I wash literally everything, bank cards, clothes, keys, on a daily basis after I come home for fear of contamination. I get really upset and angry at minor things, and I sometimes get this rage I cannot control because this whole situation is getting too much for me. But this urge. My parents have said to just be strong, your being silly etc. But its like I have to shut myself up it that makes sense! I am starting to doubt that I have a problem. I feel like I am doing this for the sake of it, working myself up for no reason. But then I have panic attacks that I cannot control physically. I just doubt myself all the time. Doctors keep mentioning the word OCD. but I don't think I have a condition. Like I'm just an attention seeking fool. Does this make sense? What do you think?

Thank you
 
S

schizolanza

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Sep 22, 2008
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hi.we are not supposed to diagnose .maybe listen to your doctors.
 
S

schizolanza

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Sep 22, 2008
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but feeling guilty is a common thing and you shouldnt beat yourself up about it.
 
S

schizolanza

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coming off meds can be very dangerous and can lead to problems symptoms.i take an antipsychotic which they stopped suddenly and i went into psychosis.more recently i deliberately stopped 20 mg olanzapine cold turkey which was a really bad idea.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,750
Location
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Lots of people feel this, it sounds like you have a touch of obsessive compulsive disorder. It's when the brain seizes upon certain things and becomes so convinced it makes you do things over and over, almost against your will.

The way I think of this is, thousands of years ago humanity was living on the plains of Africa, hunting things and gathering berries. There were no cleansing wipes, probably no soap, and lots of things to get dirty from, contaminants to eat, and still our stomach and guts were able to cope. Those were the circumstances our bodies evolved for, that rough life. We are a lot tougher than we often give ourselves credit for. There's no need to worry so much.
 
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