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Do You think in suicide even if You are fine ?

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vrk15

New member
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
2
Hey guys.First post here.I hope you understand my english, sorry anyway.
I'm have symptoms of depression since i had 14 years.Now i'm have 23.With 16 years I tried medication for about 1 year and 6 months.It was terrible.Now in the last 2 years I'm returned to take medication. I'm fine right now.I take 2 antidepressant and Lithium.But it's hard to explain what i feel , I'm think in suicide sometimes but the medication helps me to give up these ideas.That does not make sense.These ideas don't go away, not entirely.It's like a residual symptom. :( the medication makes me stable, but i don't know when i will enjoy this life.Maybe i'm a little indifferent with everthing.This tired me and i think this is the reason why i think about suicide.Stable mood and "normal " life are not the same. :mad:
Someone on this situation too ?
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forum.
I think medication can alter your mood, but not your thought patterns. You usually need counselling, therapy or something else to help you think differently.
I do relate to your situation, in that i've had periods of feeling well but still thinking about suicide.
I think also that the idea of suicide is, in a strange way, a form of comfort - that I can exit any time.
Thought patterns can become deeply ingrained which is why becoming aware of them and starting to change them is what's needed - no medication can do that for you.
 
peardrop

peardrop

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Nov 13, 2012
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62
Hi vrk, I know this will be not be much help but I have felt like that for most of my adult life. I hate waking up in the morning every day and have researched various suicide methods. You're not alone is what I'm saying really.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi vrk15 and welcome to the forum.

Suicidal thoughts can be terrifying and wearing. I wouldn't say you're fine if you're experiencing them. Have you been offered any help other than medication? Any counselling or therapy?
 
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Tomtom

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
21
Hey vrk
I'm new to forum as well. Hello. I know how you feel. Suicidal thoughts have been with me on and off my whole life. Even when I consider myself stable, or am told I'm stable. They can still be there.
Medication will not remove them, I find counselling or BCT does help. But it's an ongoing process. Even just talking it through. Suicide as a conversation topic is still a taboo really.
Stay strong, you are not alone
 
B

BAGGPUSS

Guest
Welcome to the forum vrk

I do but I think it can be changed with therapys.

Hope you find the forum helpfull :hug:
 
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Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

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Jul 22, 2013
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756
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:welcome:

This is a great place, thank you for making it greater!

This is quite common and I think it's okay to be compassionate to yourself and not worry too much, okay? This almost falls into 'Intrusive Thoughts' category and they are nothing to worry about. Have a hug, we like them here!

:hug5:

Davey x
 
V

vrk15

New member
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
2
Thank you all !:)

I will back to psychological therapy in 2015.it's necessary...

Sometimes the idea of suicide is like a refuge when everything is going wrong.I think this is to console ourselves. Depression is so weird. :confused:

See you later
 
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Thoth

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Joined
Oct 12, 2014
Messages
230
Location
Leicester/Sheffield
Every 10 minutes or so I think and make a compelling case for suicide. It does not help that when something goes wrong that I'm not pleased about I think about every lousy mistake to justify the reason to denigrate and disparage myself.

They was only one drug that really ameliorated those conditions. Dextroamphetamines 30mg-90mg a day. By far the best drug I've had. However I was put on it to give me more focus, since I'm no longer at university, they took me off of it and my depression has continued to get worse. My mother doesn't want me on it, and also illegal in the UK.
 
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Benagade

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Joined
Dec 14, 2014
Messages
10
Location
Essex
Hi vrk15,

I was in your situation no so long ago, all I could think about was ending my life as I felt I had no reason to be on this planet anymore!

But what you say is true, I used to have thoughts like this in a strange way to comfort myself as it was the only "normal" thing for me to feel, the only emotion I really had.

I can't say much about the medication side, as I've only ever had fluoxitine.

You're not alone, and I really would recommend therapy, even if it's just having someone to talk to about how you're feeling might help.

Merry Christmas :)

Ben
 
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