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do you lock yourself away?

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Paranoid MisterE

Active member
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
43
I try to stay in and its better when I am all alone I dont go out unless I am pushed into it and then theres a battle of wills! I get too much interference from others if I go out everything seems more intense and I am less able to concentrate. Dealing with rapid fire paranoid thoughts and trying to combat them and rationalise everything all the time drives me up the wall. When I am all alone it is much easyer so its a hermit life for me.
Funny, i have just been having this conversation with my sister, i would happily get my own place and do my shopping online and live like a hermit, not having to deal with these rapid fire paranoid thoughts. My docs say it wont help me and i have to push myself to go out and put myself in anxiety provoking situations. I was in tesco with friends for the first time sober in 2 years the other day and i couldnt focus on anything we were buying because i was too busy analysing everyone trying to work out what they thought about me.
 
D

diddypinks

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 7, 2009
Messages
1,946
zebedee i used to be very much like you do you drive? thats helped me a lot
ramboghetto thats just afeeling of disconnectedness like not fitting in i thought i might have undiagnosed autism at one point the tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction
 
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zebedee

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
9
Location
uk
I dont drive but I recently got myself a scooter so I can get to the local garage when I run out of tobacco:)
 
sallyG

sallyG

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2009
Messages
1,693
Location
Essex England
i have becom very antisocial this week its funny because a week ago i was out every day i couldnt stay at home now i'm practically nocturnal and just hiding from life. i want to shake off this "whats the point attitude" but find it so hard to stick to anything i dont know if this is due to my illness. comments welcome
i certainly look myself away...i have become a hermit in the past few years only venturing outside once a month to do my food shopping or see my doctor..its very isolating and a habit thats hard to break...especially when you feel that by staying home your in a safe place.
 
Z

zebedee

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
9
Location
uk
I sit by my computer often playing simple games repetitively I feel safe like this but really I should exercise and get out more the olanzapine has made me put on too much weight.
 
Emily-Rose

Emily-Rose

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
159
I used to be outside all the time, I was never in the house, my parents just about saw me for dinner and that was it.

But then when I got to my worst, I never went outside. My friends used to ask me to come out and I would make up pathetic excuses as to why I couldn't. I used to not go to my clubs which at one stage where my pride and joy. I used to look at all the trophy's on the shelf and get angry at myself and promise I would change, but I never did. I'd stay in the house and hide in the safety on my bedroom, on my laptop. One thing I did though, I NEVER turned my laptop off. Once my laptop went off I felt unsafe, panicky, worried. I needed someone to talk to, I would panic until I got it back on again.

Emily.x
 
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watchinghour

Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2009
Messages
13
Location
Australia for now.
I only venture outside when it's necessary. Right now, that means when I need to do my groceries once a week. Having no friends or anyone to talk to offline, I tend to spend the majority of my time on the internet or playing computer games. The virtual worlds offered in some of the latest games nowadays are quite large in scope, extremely immersive, well-detailed, and realistic . It gets quite difficult to drag myself away from these surrogate realities when the time comes, which for me can lead to bouts of depression. My mood always improves once I return home and get back online or back into a game.
 
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