Do you lean too hard on one person for support?

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runner girl

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#1
I do.
My poor, long suffering husband. Where would I be without him? Before I go married I had my mom.
He is so wonderful, does health (my big bugaboo) research for me to assuage fears, makes me nutricious food, etc. I even bring him into doctor's visits with me as I have a doctor phobia.
I'm so lucky to have him but I feel guilty as he worries so much about me.
I so much want to get rid of or greatly diminish this miserable anxiety!
 
S

sallimae76

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#2
I do.
My poor, long suffering husband. Where would I be without him? Before I go married I had my mom.
He is so wonderful, does health (my big bugaboo) research for me to assuage fears, makes me nutricious food, etc. I even bring him into doctor's visits with me as I have a doctor phobia.
I'm so lucky to have him but I feel guilty as he worries so much about me.
I so much want to get rid of or greatly diminish this miserable anxiety!

Don't feel guilty, he loves you, that's what love is for, to lean on each other and worry about each other.
 
S

sallimae76

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#4
t
Very nice response. We both are devoted to each other.
I have never had anyone love me in my life. I'm an ugly fat girl, and I feel numb because I'm unloved. I feel so low already, that I can't understand why these voices have chosen to haunt me. I guess to push me over the edge.
 
S

sallimae76

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#6
I have one friend that lives out of state. She's getting tired of me. I have no family except for my 81 year old mother who live across country. I wish I was dead already.
 
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gam9147

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#7
I'm sorry Salli. I know what its like to deal with anxiety alone. I had my wife in the past but going through divorce now. It feels very lonely and I understand. But you can deal with anxiety. Make sure you get a support group of therapist/doctor and work on going out to be social to make some friends. Forget about love for the time being, you can't control it anyways. But you can work on support and friendship that you will have in your time of need.
 
S

sallimae76

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#8
I'm sorry Salli. I know what its like to deal with anxiety alone. I had my wife in the past but going through divorce now. It feels very lonely and I understand. But you can deal with anxiety. Make sure you get a support group of therapist/doctor and work on going out to be social to make some friends. Forget about love for the time being, you can't control it anyways. But you can work on support and friendship that you will have in your time of need.

Thank you for your support, means a lot.
 
Z

Zoe1

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#9
Salli I feel like that sometimes about my appearance
and at other times I dont
its not true of course that we are ugly ...
I'm single too, because I have made poor choices in relationships
I say to myself three times every morning

" I am beautiful and I deserve to be loved "

in order to change my attitude

hugs Zoe
 
S

sallimae76

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#10
Salli I feel like that sometimes about my appearance
and at other times I dont
its not true of course that we are ugly ...
I'm single too, because I have made poor choices in relationships
I say to myself three times every morning

" I am beautiful and I deserve to be loved "

in order to change my attitude

hugs Zoe

I have never been in a relationship and I am 43. It hurts that I couldn't find a smart big guy who was down to earth to love me. I have been approached for sex in my life and I don't want that. For me sex is an expression of love. I feel alone in thinking this.
 
Z

Zoe1

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#11
I dont think you are alone in thinking that
I have had 7 relationships all disastrous
and now I'm doing what you're doing, waiting for something special

theres nothing wrong with starting out like that as you are doing !

and its not your fault you are single
its does not mean you are not lovable
that is just a thought in your mind that you can change

can you think of one nice thing about yourself ? x x x
 
S

sallimae76

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#12
Well I have helped some people as a public interest lawyer. I am most proud of that, although I am also experiencing a crisis in career right now. I am so disinterested in my job. Hard to go there every day.
 
Z

Zoe1

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#13
you sound like a lovely person
you help people and you want a relationship that is about love
whats not to like ? !
probably most people have a career crisis
and a lot of people just put up with where they are

at least you know that you feel uncomfortable with it
because you are in touch with your feelings
which a lot of people are not ...

people here can help you with your career changes
probably better than I can because I'm unemployed
although I do a lot of voluntary work

ive seen them helping each other with job issues on other threads

x x x
 
S

sallimae76

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#14
I think you're a lovely person for taking the time out to respond to me. Thank you so much. Wish I had a friend like you in my life.
 
Z

Zoe1

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#15
thankyou ! well its not really time out, because I need to be here !
we can chat here and start new threads
I will look out for you
and you can let me know if you started a new thread x x x
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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#16
for me defiantly my mum and dad it just hit me how much i relied on them makes me want to cry right now i am making changes but i feel bad just for needing the help you know ? :cry:
 
G

gam9147

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#17
I have never been in a relationship and I am 43. It hurts that I couldn't find a smart big guy who was down to earth to love me. I have been approached for sex in my life and I don't want that. For me sex is an expression of love. I feel alone in thinking this.
I'm almost that exact age, only a handful of relationships but obviously those didn't work since I'm in divorce now. my wife was never interested in sex with me even as an expression of love. I feel the same. Unfortunately in the dating scene there is a lot of that sex first. I just want a nice sensitive woman, sex comes later and is not as important... in fact seems to me more of an anxiety provoker than anything right now.

So at very least your not alone, I'm in the same boat. I will repeat the thought that it's fine to be a kind sensitive person interested in more than just physical. I have to remind myself of that a lot these days. Hoping it gets better for both of us.
 
S

sallimae76

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#18
I'm almost that exact age, only a handful of relationships but obviously those didn't work since I'm in divorce now. my wife was never interested in sex with me even as an expression of love. I feel the same. Unfortunately in the dating scene there is a lot of that sex first. I just want a nice sensitive woman, sex comes later and is not as important... in fact seems to me more of an anxiety provoker than anything right now.

So at very least your not alone, I'm in the same boat. I will repeat the thought that it's fine to be a kind sensitive person interested in more than just physical. I have to remind myself of that a lot these days. Hoping it gets better for both of us.
I really appreciate the time you took to write this to me. It feels so bad to not be loved, to not know the experience of belonging to someone. Thank you for letting me know that there are men like you out there that want to wait and get to know a woman. I wonder if it will ever happen for me? I will keep you in my thoughts.
 

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