• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Do you know why you are depressed

T

TheHeartHasAVoice

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2020
Messages
439
Location
Australia
I was watching this show with Dr Phil and he was talking about his philosophy on depression. He said something like many people who are depressed actually have real reasons for being depressed as opposed to having a mental illness (job loss, alienated from their kids, divorce etc).

He talked about writing those reasons down on a to do list then coming up with an action plan for each one and then crossing it off and that if you do that generally mood lifts.

He talked about how pain is a motivator for change and is not necessarily a bad thing.

Any thoughts on this?
 
M

ManDss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
843
Location
Argentina
Well, yes, thats a good thing to do. Ive done that myself in the past, and Ive recomended this too to other people.

Be clear why are you feeling depressed, and then think what you need to do to change it.

Its at least a 1st step.

But thats only a tiny step, things sometimes arent easy to change. Sorry for being not optimisitic.

So then theres another thing to think about: how to cope.
 
S

Sugaree

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
115
Location
California
I don’t always know why I am depressed. I have chronic pain,migraines and arthritis in my neck and spine. I also have anxiety disorder. Some days I just go into myself and can’t come out. Once the tears start flowing I can finally name something that has triggered it. My birthday is next week and that is usually a sad day for me. I realized today that it has been the underlying cause for my depression this week. Thank you for your post. It made me realize the reason behind my tears tonight.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
412
Location
Orleans vermont.
For me its mental exaustion and chronic pain. Unfortunatly in my case it's exactly the opposite, it ruins my motivation to do anything. For me pain has been consistantly bad.
 
L

liv33

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2020
Messages
53
Location
Eu
I was watching this show with Dr Phil and he was talking about his philosophy on depression. He said something like many people who are depressed actually have real reasons for being depressed as opposed to having a mental illness (job loss, alienated from their kids, divorce etc).
Sorry, I don't understand here: real reasons for being depressed as opposed to having a mental illness?
 
T

TheHeartHasAVoice

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2020
Messages
439
Location
Australia
Sorry, I don't understand here: real reasons for being depressed as opposed to having a mental illness?
He meant that their situation naturally demonstrated a genuine reason for being depressed. Rather than needing pills for the label depression. Like, their situation in life was the cause of their depression and understandable as opposed to having some illness of the mind.

If you have just gone through a divorce for example it's expected you would be depressed.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,535
Location
Canada
Basic reason, an unhappy life. There are several things about it I dislike. Where I'm living, and how I'm living. There are things about myself I want to be different. But changing is no easy matter. And there are some things beyond my control, like the virus. I've been out of work so long, that gets me down. Don't have a social life other than a brother. Too much free time, idleness, boredom. Social anxiety. Lots of things contribute to feelings of depression.
 
T

ThrownOutTheAsylum

Member
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
12
Location
England or On Another Planet
He's right in that some depression is caused by issues that the sufferer can do something about. Often taking courage and addressing the issues will make the sufferer feel better. Sometimes people whose depression is a reaction to events just need to pick themselves up, acknowledge that life isn't perfect and face the issue or just get on with things. However, even for these people, depression makes these things harder to do.

Those whose depression is more fundamental will struggle and it won't help those depressed people who have no external explanation for their depression (for example, my depression is related to how I feel physically and has, as far as I can see, no external factors).
 
toutatis

toutatis

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
1,520
Location
Another Dimension
Also, things like childhood trauma, abuses, PTSD, a ruined sense of self and trust etc., aren't the same thing as having a situation to be fixed, but can cause ongoing depression. But overall, in terms of what Dr Phil said, I'd have to agree, yes.
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
502
Of course there are people who have reasons for their depression. There are many people who just cannot cope with a loss or a failure they have in life and never recover from it. I have been there. My depression came about because I was well sheltered when I grew up and when failure came to me, I just did not know how to cope with it. Each little failure was not dealt with until things unravelled completely so that I could not cope with it. Medication and hospital, not so much cured me, but kept me functioning until I could learn for the first time in my life how to deal with all the failures and problems that most people deal with in their lives.

Pills will steady the ship, relieve the pain and prevent you from doing harm to yourself or others and get you into to a state where you can function at work, or as a carer for children, or other family members, but they are not a "cure". The "cure" comes after medication.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
822
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
Also, things like childhood trauma, abuses, PTSD, a ruined sense of self and trust etc., aren't the same thing as having a situation to be fixed, but can cause ongoing depression. But overall, in terms of what Dr Phil said, I'd have to agree, yes.
I did experience childhood trauma. I went to therapy because of it, probably ten years ago at age 51 for maybe four months. I'm now 61. It was helpful at the time, but I don't want to be in therapy all of my life. Talking about it is no longer helpful.
 
S

Sugaree

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
115
Location
California
I also had an abusive childhood. I had my first panic attack when I was 6. I was in therapy for most of my forties. I have a major anxiety disorder and depressive disorder. I will be 60 next week and my anxiety has been debilitating these last few weeks. I thought about seeing a counselor again but because of covid it would be a virtual visit. I am tired of talking about it too, I just want to move forward.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,120
Location
USA
I think a lot of depressed people have a predisposition towards that mindset, it's probably genetic in many cases. Events that people with more upbeat outlooks on life would just shrug off, depressed people let get to them.

I didn't have much joy in my childhood, my parents quarreled all the time and there was a lot of tension around the home. But, other folks have had that and worse and not come out of it too deeply impacted. In my case I think I have a genetic predisposition towards depression/anxiety which was first evidenced when I was a teenager.

I'm not sure what context Dr. Phil was referring to, but not everyone who feels 'down' over some misfortune is depressed. Depression is NOT just feeling the blues or feeling down because something went wrong in your life. Depression is all-encompassing and sucks the energy out of you-you don't feel like doing much of anything. It's pervasive in the lives of clinically depressed people.
 
T

TheHeartHasAVoice

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2020
Messages
439
Location
Australia
I think a lot of depressed people have a predisposition towards that mindset, it's probably genetic in many cases. Events that people with more upbeat outlooks on life would just shrug off, depressed people let get to them.

I didn't have much joy in my childhood, my parents quarreled all the time and there was a lot of tension around the home. But, other folks have had that and worse and not come out of it too deeply impacted. In my case I think I have a genetic predisposition towards depression/anxiety which was first evidenced when I was a teenager.

I'm not sure what context Dr. Phil was referring to, but not everyone who feels 'down' over some misfortune is depressed. Depression is NOT just feeling the blues or feeling down because something went wrong in your life. Depression is all-encompassing and sucks the energy out of you-you don't feel like doing much of anything. It's pervasive in the lives of clinically depressed people.
There was a context he was referring to if the patient was reacting to something external ie if the situation was changeable. Sorry I should of mentioned that.
 
A_Wilted_Daisy

A_Wilted_Daisy

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2020
Messages
281
Location
in a bubble
I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. Probably since childhood. It definitely existed in my teens, and now I'm in my 40s. Sometimes there are reasons I feel bad in a moment, but there's always been a sadness in me. I know for sure my maternal grandma was depressed. I see it in my mom as well, though she won't admit it. I do believe it can be genetic. Also, my parents have never had a happy marriage. I witnessed nonstop anger and yelling as a child that continues to this day. There's never been love between them that I've seen. I'm sure that also plays a role in my feelings and relationships with others.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
C Blood test to measure if we are depressed Depression Forum 10
S Middle-aged and depressed Depression Forum 21
Ladyfair Depressed Sad Alone Depression Forum 9
S Depressed no confidence or hope in life. Depression Forum 6
MrBond007 Depressed, love-sick and hungover. Depression Forum 2
C Is my depressed boyfriend going to leave me? Depression Forum 13
S Getting more depressed every day. Depression Forum 8
M How old are you and why are you depressed ? Depression Forum 31
L Depressed partner- seeking advice Depression Forum 5
I Why I Am Depressed. Depression Forum 3
I So Depressed I can't Even Write This But I Will Try Depression Forum 9
I Very Depressed Depression Forum 3
W Depressed mom with 2nd one on the way Depression Forum 1
Blooming I feel rather depressed today. Depression Forum 5
L Hi. New here but very depressed. Depression Forum 4
S If I wasn't depressed, would I recognise myself? Depression Forum 4
T Advice for the depressed Depression Forum 24
D Feel so depressed Depression Forum 2
D Unbelievably depressed and living in constant fear Depression Forum 17
D Depressed, hopeless, suicidal. Depression Forum 7
P Can I be depressed without knowing?!! Depression Forum 5
A I'm so depressed. Depression Forum 6
K Am i depressed? Depression Forum 4
F Depressed Girlfriend is going through a hard time Depression Forum 8
L Depressed and Feeling Inadequate to My Loved Ones Depression Forum 4
T Feel depressed since Trump lost Depression Forum 5
L Chronically depressed and alone Depression Forum 13
M Living a double life, being depressed and having to fake not Depression Forum 8
J Need some help I'm feeling very depressed the moment and just do not feel good Depression Forum 4
I Feeling so depressed and fed up Depression Forum 8
L I was already depressed, then my boyfriend died next to me while we were sleeping. Depression Forum 16
kimidare How to talk about depressed feelings ? Depression Forum 5
Ladyfair TRIGGER WARNING Very Depressed Depression Forum 15
MarieRose Severely depressed! Depression Forum 3
memeLRXDD Depressed & Confused. Depression Forum 3
D am i depressed or lazy Depression Forum 8
A Depressed and getting no help from doctors Depression Forum 2
S Feeling depressed and disconnected Depression Forum 9
schizodreamz123 Depressed Depression Forum 3
Beachgirl Depressed boyfriend...not sure what to do. Depression Forum 2
W finally not depressed anymore but anxiety is murdering me Depression Forum 7
C Is it okay to cut parents off if they make you feel more depressed? Depression Forum 8
G Depressed looking at my life Depression Forum 2
M So depressed Depression Forum 13
D all those things I did not do 6 months ago while depressed... Depression Forum 1
PsychoBumby93 I can't take it anymore! I am literally beyond depressed. Depression Forum 1
E Depressed/had enough Depression Forum 14
D Depressed/break up / suicidal Depression Forum 10
Pasztecik Depressed Depression Forum 6
B Depressed/ hopeless about life..... anyone wanna message me? Depression Forum 5

Similar threads

Top