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Do you find you have high expectations of people?

S

Sarabi_Gyarados

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Aug 20, 2019
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226
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UK
I Find it hard to know what is a realistic or unrealistic expectation.

As I tend to be there for people, I assume they should be too.

What are some expectations you have of others that you find hard to fulfill?
 
SwanLake

SwanLake

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May 20, 2019
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I Find it hard to know what is a realistic or unrealistic expectation.

As I tend to be there for people, I assume they should be too.

What are some expectations you have of others that you find hard to fulfill?
My therapist told me to stop ‘expecting’ and change my thoughts to ‘hoping’. They are wise words because expecting can only lead to disappointment and suffering.
 
C

Coolname

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Jun 3, 2019
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Yep. Changing expect to hope, should and need to want and like, etc has made a real positive difference to me.

These days I don't see friendship as a transactional relationship. I am there for people because I choose to be. They are free not to choose to be there for me, who knows what reasons they may have. Repeated behaviour may well influence how much I want to be around them in future but that is a choice I am free to make.
 
Heidrun

Heidrun

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May 9, 2019
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unfamiliar
I am extremely loyal to people and always have expected others to be it , I've actually asked my friends some things that might even be impossible for them. It's really a problem I struggle with, although I do know now that I cannot expect the same things from people.
Biggest thing I learned was the meaning of the word "trust", it's not something I can control or should check on it's something you have to give someone without questions.

The whole problem with these kind of issues is what a person defines as a friend. What makes a friend a friend and what would you do for friends.
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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Nov 23, 2015
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yes, I think its part of BPD. for me at least. Very high expectations then very low results.

we must be a pain in the arse to live with
 
hicks

hicks

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May 14, 2019
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A galaxy, far far away..
The whole problem with these kind of issues is what a person defines as a friend. What makes a friend a friend and what would you do for friends.
That's a good question, and one I've often asked myself. I would only class one person in my life outside of my immediate family as a 'friend'. But I suppose there are levels of friendship. What's the minimum requirement though?
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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ive learnt to live w my high expectations. People always let you down. I dont ask anyone for anything.
 
megirl

megirl

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Apr 9, 2010
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NZ
My husband said to me a long time ago ..you expect too much out of life..
He was right
Life's never perfect. I have had a beautiful friend in my life I trained as a nurse with her her relationship with her whole family they are the most loving caring happy family I've known. Then she got the perfect job, she was the loveliest person. She was overseas broke her knee it didn't heal well got nasty infection
She got back to nz and had leukemia ..
So not a good ending
 
hicks

hicks

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A galaxy, far far away..
My husband said to me a long time ago ..you expect too much out of life..
He was right
Life's never perfect
Yeah agree. Feel sorry for my daughter. Poor girl, she's already becoming disillusioned at 17. Don't think I got to that stage until I was in my 20's ;)

But yes, I think I've got overly high expectations of people. Having said that, I'm sure there have been many times when others thought I let them down :(
 
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