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do you feel sorry for yourself?

nonotme

nonotme

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I know I do, I do the "why me" all the time. sometimes it bores me but it also bores others more.
 
rasselas.redux

rasselas.redux

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I think it's worthwhile to ration it out a bit. although I'm a holder-inner, to all intents and purposes. that has its own travails, as I have demonstrated here, in both letting it out, and holding it in.

this is beginning to sound like a poo metaphor. It wasn't intended.

if I found myself repeating my complaints I'd probably think of it was a form of OCD arising from PTSD.

I'm so used to suffering depression that I laugh my way through it. this causes confusion. people can't adequately measure how shit I'm feeling.

sometimes "nonotme" we have to allow outselves enjoyment. I don't mean that in any way to be patronising. but if my own experience casts a universal shadow, the depression feeds on itself and causes us to sometimes fall under the spell of self-denial. let your hair down and have fun. or, learn to risk making an arse of yourself.

don't do what I've done. don't become social dynamite. people enjoy standing from afar and watching the show, but no one wants to get too near, in case you blow their minds a bit too much.

it's all fucking myth. I'm a meek and weary fellow, almost a vanished being. and I don't know very much about anything much at all, I just happen to know a lot about a lot. why me?
 
rasselas.redux

rasselas.redux

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youve got me going.

everything that could possibly go wrong, has gone wrong. every single fucking decision I made from the day I left the house of horrors, has gone to wobble. dreams to dust. loves to dust. hopes to dust. money to dust. and on it goes. what is supposed to begin to happen upon the moment of me snuffing it, has been happening in a kind of benjamin button reverse. I was born into my own death and have been cursed to live through my own slow decay.
 
nonotme

nonotme

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i resent myself for feeling sorry for myself.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I know I do, I do the "why me" all the time. sometimes it bores me but it also bores others more.
Sometime I feel abit sorry for me but most the time I just worry worry worry then I get the negative & suicidal thoughts creeping in :( its not that I feel sorry I just can't handle my life, its too much now, I'm at my limit and people can't understand why I want out..... 'Your still young you'll meet new people, you got your whole life ahead of you'
Who the fuck is going to want some nut job with all this baggage?! And I dont even socialise cause I can't handle it so hooooow? Do the new people magically make my life better!?!? Arrrrrghh!
Sorry to ranty rant rant all over your thread :hug5:
 
rasselas.redux

rasselas.redux

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there's an energy imbalance between those two selves/voices or whatever term you prefer
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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What is it precisely you feel sorry about? Anything we can help you work on feeling better about? X
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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To advance you spiritually. X
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Sorry I know that doesnt help one bit :(
 
B

blueorange

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I felt sorry about myself in the last 6 months, after the diagnoses. I felt sorry especially for being diagnosed so late. I cried a lot for my childhood, for being so alone and being in so much pain. I wish that at least my parents would understand me, be kind to me. But everybody thought that I was just bad-tempered, vicious kid. I cried a lot in my room alone. Then I attempted suicide at age eight.
I feel sorry for that child. I don't feel so sorry about having bipolar disorder, of course I feel sorry but the main thing is not knowing it. If I knew it I would be kind to myself and my parents would also.
Being alone with the pain was too much.

In the last 1 month I'm better, I think I accepted it.
 
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