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Do you ever forget how to interact with others?

Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2019
Messages
144
Location
New york
There are times when I feel completely clueless as to how I should speak/behave around other people... or, there times when I am oblivious to something that everyone else in the group noticed/became aware of. Even if that just means I didn’t understand a joke, or realize there was a joke at all. Makes me feel like an outcast, or like everyone is secretly making fun of me/thinking I’m a freak and they’re purposely excluding me.

This happens whether or not I isolate myself, but I notice that it gets worse if I do (or if I’m experiencing a low point). It’s like I forget how to talk to people, and I get immersed in my own personal inner world.

I feel like a robot at times too, which might be a dissociation thing? But I mean it more so because I recycle sentences a lot. Even within a single conversation, I don’t know what to say that would be appropriate so I’ll recycle past things I have said. This can be in the form of a question, like “how are you feeling?” (I will not always pay attention to the answer, but I will pretend I did).

This isn’t necessarily a horrific thing, repeating questions and sentences, but sometimes I just feel very weird, and it makes me want to isolate myself more! I feel like an alien sometimes.

What about you?
 
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Luna

Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
7
Location
UK
Yes definitely! This happens to me too, usually when I'm with friends or people that I don't know very well or people that aren't my best friends.

For example, on Saturday I went to my cousins' party and I still felt pretty awkward even tho they're pretty much like cousins to me.

This also happens when I'm with certain types of people, like they'll talk to me about something and I don't even know where to begin of how to reply to them. Sometimes it'll be a joke or just them talking about something random and when they're finished I'll just awkwardly laugh or agree with them or something bcos I won't find it funny or know how to respond.
N then I feel dumb and just hope they go away bcos I just have this feeling that I'm being really boring so I doubt they'd
 
L

Luna

Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
7
Location
UK
Yes definitely! This happens to me too, usually when I'm with friends or people that I don't know very well or people that aren't my best friends.

For example, on Saturday I went to my cousins' party and I still felt pretty awkward even tho they're pretty much like cousins to me.

This also happens when I'm with certain types of people, like they'll talk to me about something and I don't even know where to begin of how to reply to them. Sometimes it'll be a joke or just them talking about something random and when they're finished I'll just awkwardly laugh or agree with them or something bcos I won't find it funny or know how to respond.
N then I feel dumb and just hope they go away bcos I just have this feeling that I'm being really boring so I doubt they'd
ignore that message ^^^ It sent when I was midway through :((((((
Here's what I meant:
Yes definitely! This happens to me too, usually when I'm with friends or people that I don't know very well or people that aren't my best friends.

For example, on Saturday I went to my cousins' party and I still felt pretty awkward even tho they're pretty much like sisters to me. I started off not too bad, just forcing myself to socialise. Then everyone started dancing and I was thinking I should be up there making an effort, but instead I was just sitting there. So the whole time I was just thinking over and over again I bet they hate being cousins with me bcos I'm not like them and I don't really try to mix with people.
(My dad said afterwards to my mum that he was disappointed in me bcos apparently I didn't make an effort to socialise and I just sat there and sulked).

This also happens when I'm with certain types of people, like they'll talk to me about something and I don't even know where to begin of how to reply to them. Sometimes it'll be a joke or just them talking about something random and when they're finished I'll just awkwardly laugh or agree with them or something bcos I won't find it funny or know how to respond.
N then I feel dumb and just hope they go away bcos I just have this feeling that I'm being really boring so I just think 'well I bet you hate me now'.

Anyway usually what I do is pretend to be confident and know what I'm talking about and try not to regret everything I say and do - I guess it's inevitable sometimes tho, I get you.

I hope that makes a bit of sense ://
 
Topcat

Topcat

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
Messages
2,470
Yes I get this too, I find socialising very uncomfortable and awkward sometimes and it stresses me out. Other times I am fine, but I've noticed it a lot more in recent years. I have isolated quite a bit.
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2019
Messages
144
Location
New york
It’s really an immense pain in the butt! Thank you for your input, Luna, I can definitely relate to that story about being at your cousins party. A similar thing happened to me once, when I was younger; I went to my cousins bday party (we used to be like sisters), but the entire time I basically just shut down and avoided eye contact with everyone. I think I made other people very uncomfortable but no one discussed it with me afterward, probably because no one who would have said anything was there. I’m sure I seemed very irritated and rude, but I didn’t know what to do and I really wanted to leave and I couldn’t.

FunkTheFear, I have isolated quite a bit as well, although I always guilt myself about it. Knowing what to say, how to say it, and when to say it—what is that? How do people just know? I tend to just keep my mouth shut for fear I’ll say something that will be unfunny or make someone uncomfortable. Or, worse, something that will reveal the chaos of my brain :(
 
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Ntme

New member
Joined
Mar 9, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Ireland
I find that being on medication it took away my coping skills and my ability to interact with people, I talk to my doctor about it but he just up my medication.
 
mischief

mischief

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Admin
Moderator
Joined
Dec 9, 2007
Messages
12,067
Location
The World
I find that being on medication it took away my coping skills and my ability to interact with people, I talk to my doctor about it but he just up my medication.
Have you tried going back and asking asking what talking therapies are available? He may be able to refer you to a psychologist for example.
 
Flameheart

Flameheart

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 7, 2018
Messages
1,377
Location
Lost
i dont know how to interact with others full stop
 
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Lonely Planet

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 26, 2019
Messages
61
Location
UK
I struggle with any interaction beyond my son and best friend. I used to be able to 'do work' but recently I've lost the ability to interact appropriately at work so am signed off sick.
My bf talks about the 'brick wall' that I build around myself that no-one can get through. She's right but it's to protect me and taking it down is bloody tough.
I have no idea what to say to people.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Many years ago I was quite social. Now I am a recluse. For a long time I have disliked what I consider "meaningless conversation".
I am taking a class and I put all my thoughts and work into it. I like writing about real world issues. I get in the zone and work for hours. But I am older and socializing is less important now.
 
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