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Do you ever feel like your mental health will hold you back forever?

StrugglingToForget

StrugglingToForget

Active member
Joined
Apr 20, 2021
Messages
39
Location
UK
I'm guessing that this will be the case for a lot of people who can't see the end of the tunnel right now. I hope people don't mind that this is my third thread of the day, but I have so much going on in my head right now and I want to keep each place a little less complicated. Feel free to stagger the time that they are all published.

But honestly, I'm 29 now and ever since I stopped going to secondary school for a few years, I've struggled with my confidence. It gets to a point where you think you're doomed for good. Like, I was bullied badly at school and I still find social interactions tough. Throughout my life, even at the fast track course I did at college and my first year of university (didn't go on to finish), I was always trying to catch a lift in with my friend to avoid walking to and from my dad's house at the time. The social anxiety was real.

Of course, sometimes I had to do it when I was forced. But it was always overwhelming. And it became a sort of dread towards the end of the day. Sometimes, especially during college and university, I would avoid going in. Especially if it involved a bus.

I also have a long history (11+ years) of recurrent UTI infections and you can imagine how that can affect someone work wise. Having to explain that the doctors won't prescribe you anything because your urine keeps coming back clear and therefore they can't act on it. Luckily things have become better since then, but I've got an infection now and have to wait a few days before they'll give me anything because the first lot of drugs failed. I'm glad they're looking out for me so that I don't go on to develop full-blown antibiotic resistance (probably halfway there to be honest), but my God it's awful.

I can only hope that more and more work from home opportunities become available in the future. But then of course there will be hundreds applying and I've been out of work for several years since having children. I don't even know why I'm worrying about it, well, perhaps I do. I guess it's just because deep down I know and feel that I am useless due to my confidence issues. If my partner died tomorrow, I would be a bucket of uselessness.

It feels like I only live for my kids right now. I'm too scared to do something terrible. But it's hard not to imagine how easy my life could have been if I wasn't here to start off with.

I would love to make more online friends too who are perhaps going through or have been through similar and have found some kind of normal. But then I wouldn't want to be a burden, either. Hoping that this mental health charity that's contacting me tomorrow can help somewhat. :(
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
7,251
Location
Canada
I think my top issue throughout my life has been social anxiety, and other stuff has happened too that made me ill on several occasions. I've been depressed lately too. I've been trying a few things to help get better, and they do help a bit even if progress is slow.

First, I look after what (and when) I eat. That helps with moods, helps keep the hormones and such in balance. The brain does better on healthy foods, no doubt about it.

Another thing is walking, getting out every day for a while. That's part of my routine.

And one more thing I started a few months ago is EFT tapping, for calming down when anxious. A few months is not long to hope to clear up issues that have been with me for decades, so I've just made it a daily practice and sometimes I notice I feel better about myself, a bit less self-conscious or something though I still feel some anxiety around people.

I guess it takes a long time to get better but any little bit of progress is good and helps motivate me to continue what I've been doing, which is all simple stuff to do now, just mostly a set of habits at this point.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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Joined
Feb 6, 2019
Messages
1,336
Location
\_(ツ)_/
I’ll say its definitely something I will need to pay attention to for the rest of my life. And I spent a very long time believing I will never get anywhere worthwhile. And now I think I need to change my mind about that. It might hold me back forever. But I’m gonna believe that one day this will all be worth it.
 
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