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Do I tell anyone about girlfriend's self-harming?



New member
May 31, 2016
Hi guys,

Apologies if it's slightly long but wasn't quite sure where else to get advice!

Basically I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year and knew she had depression from quite early on. She dealt with it really well but would occasionally be really down and (especially when drunk!) cry a lot.

In time her dosage of anti-depressant was upped and everything was good until the other day. We went away for the weekend and had quite a lot to drink without much sleep, and on the final day she started to cry heavily.

I didn't think much of it until she went to the bathroom and I heard weird noises so after knocking I found her about to self harm. Initially, I thought maybe it was just a cry for attention so I sat with her a d kept a very close eye on her. Then she went to get a make-up wipe and tried to self harm again.

Thankfully, no major damage was done. But I literally had to hold her to stop her doing further damage. She said sometimes she feels like killing herself when she gets like that and admitted it's almost a cry for help (very drunk at the time)

The next morning she apologised and was saying it was the most stupid thing and the second time was just to prove she wasn't attention seeking.

However, I'm thinking I need to tell someone (her parents, doctor) but don't want to alienate her!

What would you guys recommended? It's not a regular thing but the fact she contemplates suicide scares me massively, and her depression seems to be getting worse.

I feel a bit helpless! :(

Last edited by a moderator:


Well-known member
Jan 4, 2013
Sorry your going through this, it would be best if your girlfriend accepts she has a problem and seeks help via her GP.
I hope things will be okay, well done for caring about her so much.
Take care


Well-known member
Sep 29, 2013
First of all I would advise her and you to inform yourselves about the effectiveness of antidepressants. They are not very good on the whole, and often can make suicidal inclinations worse, not better. It might be worth thinking about getting off the drugs, first of all.

Second, I'd start looking into natural alternatives. There are a number of strategies for combatting depression which do not rely on drugs, such as combining a regime of running with meditation which has been shown in a clinical study to be effective in nearly half of all cases.

Third, I have a friend who suffers from terrible depression, and her method of getting through the day involves smoking small quantities of weed. It may not be possible or appropriate for your girlfriend, but if done with care and attention it is one possible avenue.

The depression I think is more a problem than the self harm. If it persists I would try and encourage her to get some talking therapy with an actual psychotherapist, but it would be far better if it came from her than from you. I would also try and get her to open up about her depressed thoughts - why is it so bad? What is she thinking that is so terrible about herself?