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do i scare people away?

M

mollie0398

New member
Joined
Jul 18, 2019
Messages
2
Location
edinburgh
i feel so alone -- i am scared that when people know about my abuse they will hate me or think that i am dirty and tarnished. i know it wasnt my fault but i feel such a strong sense of self loathing and just want to scrub and scub at myself
i can never feel clean enough
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
hello mollie so sorry that you have gone through this.
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
198
Location
UK
Hi mollie, you are not dirty or damaged. You will not scare anyone away. You are not too much.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
280
Location
On The Train
Hi Mollie! I was abused also I felt the same way for a long time. I went to therapy for it and just talking to someone honestly about my feelings and them being comforting really helped me. Therapy was the first time in my life I realized we are all responsible for our own actions and could stop hating myself.

I told others and the reaction was usually supportive. Sometimes people would make rude comments but looking back I see they were rude and ignorant. I am engaged now and am triggered by scenes in movies. I went off on my fiancee once because he showed me a movie with a bad scene in it and he has been really careful. He says I can talk to him but doesn't press me for details.

You are not alone Mollie and there are good compassionate kind people out there who will be supportive.
 
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