Do I Need help?

[Dew1]

Hello. I am writing this because I have been forced to deal with a problem that I have been denying for years. I am forty years old and for as long as I can remember I have had difficulty in "thinking logically". I try to put up a good front but inside I just feel like I'm just fooling everyone, even my wife. I feel very absent minded. I work in retail as a manager so I often have to accomplish many things. If my boss gives me a list of things to accomplish, i have to write them down or I'll forget to do them. And if I don't look at what I wrote down, I still forget. Also, I have always had problems having conversations in social situations. I feel awkward and can't keep a conversation going and I feel the person that I'm talking to start to feel uncomfortable. The reason that I say I have been forced to deal with it is because I am in the teaching credential program. Although I feel that I possess the intelligence, teaching is about communicating and so many little details. If I can't get help in sorting these things out, I don't think that I could do it. My question is, who do I talk to? A doctor? A psychiatrist? What causes this? Is it a chemical imbalance? Will medication help me think straight? What's my first step? Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[daffy]

Hi Dew glad youve found us. Although we ant solve your prolem for you quite often just having someone to listen can be enough. Have you always felt 'absent minded' or is this something thats been devolping over the years. Your obviously intelligent to gain a managers position and i wonder if its more about low self esteem.

If your companies a large one do they have an occupational health worker that you could talk to. If not maybe talking to your gp may help. He may be put you in touch with some groups that can help

take care

 

[Fedup]

Hello and Dew1

I would suggest you open up to your wife & then go and open up with your gp.
Support is a big help in any illness.

You have made one positive step in coming here , good on ya.

 

[midnight]

Hiya,

I have difficulty concentrating when I am unwell, meds help me but I guess there needs to be some decision made as to whether its an illness you have or whether its just the way you are made

I would suggest talking to your gp first - you should be offered some sort of help if the situation bothers you

But brace for questions about how you feel on an emotional level too

 

[Dollit]

I've always had to rely on lists and I've had some pretty high responsibility jobs, even now in medical retirement my voluntary work is quite high level and that's why I write lists. It's too important for me to rely on my memory. Some people have good memories, have ease in retaining information. In some ways I can do that but for the day to day stuff I need my lists. When I'm in a meeting or trying to sell an idea to a senior officer I'm absolutely formidable, several people I get to work with say they like seeing me in action but introduce me to a stranger in a social situation and I want to curl up in the corner and shrivel up. I don't know if that makes me more normal and you less(!) but I think it's the way some people are. Have you thought of assertiveness training re your second concern?

 

[lucid scream]

My memory is shot too. I dunno if that means you need help. Writing things down is an easy enough way around that though, eh?
I have the social phobia bit too. It used to be much worse. Your going to be you regardless of what others think though, right? And if they don't like you, you don't need them. So who cares? Better to get it out early in the relationship. Working that out helped me a great deal, although I admit I still don't do crowds well.

 

[sandybob]

hello and

i reckon your first port of call should be your gp ..

recognising a problem is the first step .. you've done that

good luck

 

[Ashami]

Hey Dew

This sounds very much like a self-esteem problem, in which case it may help to access a course in building self-esteem / assertion.

Is it something your company could offer thru training programs / team building programs etc? If not then you could search at your local adult education sites for evening classes and if that fails it may be possible to access this type of course thru your GP via NHS mental health services.

It sounds to me like the memory problems may well be associated. If you get anxious as the pressure builds it is quite likely your mind could just want to block it all out.

Relaxation techniques and even meditation could help, and even a self-defence course like Tai Chi because you will learn to 'centre' yourself, which is a technique that makes you feel more in control.

Best of luck

 

[Dew1]

Thanks for the advice!

Thanks everyone for your great advice. Just knowing that there are others who can appreciate and identify with my situation is comforting. I will contact my gp soon. I'll update soon. Thanks again to all.

 

[Rorschach]

Welcome...