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Do I Hear Voices??! :s

D

dunty

Guest
Hi,
I was diagnosed as experiencing drug induced psychosis when I was 18. Then schizo-affective disorder and now the diagnosis may be paranoid schizophrenia. During the psychosis I can remember hearing a voice (as though it was someone shouting - I heard it through my ears) only a few times but cant distinguish if I hear voices or not simply because I know it is me - I can tell I'm not 'hearing' anyone who isn't there. Although, I do experience a dialogue inside my head a lot of the time commenting on things I do, others body language, opinions of mine or others and suspicious thoughts about others. Sometimes negative sometimes positive, sometimes first person narrative, sometimes third person narrative. Often contradicting my character and beliefs which leads me to be confused about myself. These things I can relate to people who hear voices but at the same time is this just self-talk as I know its me?
I have attended a Hearing Voices Network meeting a few times but got suspicious of people there: thinking they thought I shouldnt be there. I am willing to go again but don't want to feel like an imposter (but then this could be paranoia!).
Forgive me if this question seems like I'm looking for a reason to blame things I dont like about myself on. I know this is entirely possible but I dont seem to be managing it very well whatever the case. It affects my concentration a great deal, I find it hard to listen to people talking and often get lost in self-pitty which I really don't like. I just need to know if anyone else is as confused about this issue as me. Is it a question of: well - do You think you hear voices? Or can anyone else relate to this experience?

Any comments or advice welcomed, thank you for reading my long post!:) xx
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
I identify - I have heard "voices" - but they are not my thing. It was more "Delusions". I don't have the time to go into a long description of what I think the reasons were why I have experienced the things I have. All I wanted to say was that have you tried "Meditation" & mindfulness? - it does help in calming the mind.

If you find certain "symptoms" & experiences are a bother to you, & you have access to the "hearing Voices" meetings - then make the most of them - describe what you have here - people will understand. I relate to it, but nowadays I just ignore my head. I try to be more accepting & view what passes through my mind with far more detachment & observation. It isn't "reality" in there.
 
D

dunty

Guest
Thanks Apotheosis,
Have started reading some buddism books, one of which is; the miracle of mindfulness, so hopefully that will help.
Your comments on how it isn't 'reality' are helpful also.
Thanks again :)
 
S

Sherville

New member
Joined
Sep 26, 2008
Messages
2
Hi,

I was recommended Vippassana (Mindfulness) by a psychologist I had a few years back. I just wanted to offer you this website which has many good FREE books to download about the topic.

http://www.buddhanet.net

It really does help, but you need to perservere, because as you know, the mind is quite un-settled and it can take a while to be "calm" for even 1 minute without negative thoughts flooding in.

BTW, I have heard voices on occassion but like you, I seem to have this "internal dialogue" that I don't feel is totally myself just 'thinking'. I've never brought it up in therapy, but I think I will now that I know someone else feels it. Thank you. :)
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
Thanks Apotheosis,
Have started reading some buddism books, one of which is; the miracle of mindfulness, so hopefully that will help.
Your comments on how it isn't 'reality' are helpful also.
Thanks again :)
No worries - Thanks for posting. Good Luck with it all.
 
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