do i have triggers ?

[Sam1305]

My SH tendencies always come and go with like a month long break in beetween them. Most people say that something triggers them and then they start again but i have no clue if i have triggers. Sometimes it's obivious for exampe when im sad or mad but sometimes i just get the urge to self harm. I could be watching a happy video about dogs or something and suddenly i have to self harm . Often i feel like i can only move my body to self harm ,nothing else. And until i self harm it stays that way. Then i take care of my wounds and after that it's like i have awoken out of a hypnosis or something and i realise what i have done. If nothing triggers me, why do i self harm ?

 

[khuang]

Triggers tend to be subconscious and it takes awhile to recognize what they are. I’ve heard about some people SH after all types of strong emotions whether positive or negative. Johnny Depp said that he would SH after anything he believed was memorable. For me it was a subconscious action to try and repress negative thoughts and memories as a way to try to force myself to forget that they even existed.

 

[JeanPierre]

I'm so sorry.
Now you need to look inward.
Figure it out and stop that. Please.
It's a stress you are releasing but you have to find another way, right?

 

[khuang]

I'm so sorry.
Now you need to look inward.
Figure it out and stop that. Please.
It's a stress you are releasing but you have to find another way, right?

Are you talking to me? Because yes I found other ways to cope with difficulty emotions and thoughts and I haven’t SH in over 12 years.

 

[JeanPierre]

Are you talking to me? Because yes I found other ways to cope with difficulty emotions and thoughts and I haven’t SH in over 12 years.

No..... I'm sorry!
I messed up.

 

[khuang]

No..... I'm sorry!
I messed up.

No worries. I was just wondering.

 

[Sam1305]

I have tried coping by putting ice in my hands but it doesn't always work and to be honest i am not sure if it is really a healthy way to cope.

 

[JeanPierre]

my gut instinct is to say that the logic behind the ice baths equate to shooting yourself in the foot.
(To block current pain and distract yourself)
Have you a doctor or therapist to talk to? (Likely some anti anxiety meds would help but I'm sure not a doctor.)
Even just a few therapy sessions can give one so much insight to go forward on one's own journey.
Has it become a bad habit perhaps since you don't see triggers, at all?

 

[Sam1305]

i have had a few therapy sessions but i always avoided talking about SH because i was embarresed . i stopped going just a few days before the first lockdown because i thought it was already getting better but after being one month clean i started again. i think you could be right that it is a habit but im not sure because i can't see a system . Sometimes i selfharm every day for a week , sometimes i stop for a few days and then randomly start again, so i really don't know if you could call it a habit.

 

[JeanPierre]

You going to have to be open with the therapy people.
There is nothing new under the sun, it is said.
Forgive yourself and keep questioning ....,you can do this.
You have much more to do in life!

I guess I meant if it was a habit...it could be broken.
Well, either way, right?
You have all my good thoughts!