Do I have some form of mental illness .

[greenmv]

Hello.

This is me asking for help. I want to know why it is that I feel this way. I have everything I could ever want, a happy family, I’m doing good in university, and money is certainly not an issue. But ever time I go out or into public I feel nervous, and uneasy. It will only take a couple minutes for me to feel uncomfortable and ready to go home. I’m not worried about what they think of me I’m just nervous with being outside. I know for sure they don’t care about me or even notice because my self-esteem is so low that I know they for sure aren’t looking at me. I just feel really uneasy and claustrophobic even. Often when I am excited about an event it only takes a couple minutes later for me to be sad and I no longer want to do the activity. Or rather I am the complete opposite of excited, and I no longer have the motivation to perform that activity. My mom says I ruin events anytime we go out because I look mad or like a scared animal, but I try my best to not be this way but it hasn’t worked. My family tells me it’s a burden taking me out anywhere, and that if wanted to stay at home so bad I should. But I really do want to get better at this. I want to be able to go out in public for longer than I have been. They tell me not to worry about what others think of me but genuinely that is not what I’m worried about. This deep rooted fear of being out in public has origins that I am unaware of. Another issue is that I spoke to my parents about my suicidal thoughts. They are now constantly worried that they should not say anything bad about me or do anything that could make me upset because they are afraid I might kill myself. But I don’t have these thoughts often only when I feel as though I’m a burden to my family they would be better off without, and these thoughts are not harbored in my mind constantly as they think. I have not been formally diagnosed with anything because my parents do not believe that mental illness is a true illness but one that occurs due to lack of work or drive. I sometimes also feel as though I am faking all of these things, and am simply overreacting. I cry often too so my parents say I’m crying to manipulate them into getting what I want but I genuinely don’t k ow what to do so I cry. I don’t want to manipulate my parents. What is wrong with me, can anyone help?

 

[Talina]

Best would be getting a diagnose from a professional. As it can help you to know what is in the background.

I have depression and social anxiety, I knew it long before I got diagnosed with it. Comes from studying and learning about mental health while getting a better understanding. But you should never truly self diagnose, better to let a professional help you.

What you feel is really important and it sounds a bit like you have some anxiety when going outdoors. I get it because of social interactions and needing to meet people. So it would be good to talk with a professional, so you can get help and learn how to handle it. Otherwise it can become worse over time. I know my social anxiety built up over the years and became a restriction to my life.

 

[jajingna]

Just saying welcome to the forum.

 

[bpd2020]

Hello and welcome to the forum. It sounds like you feel anxious at times and your parents are making you feel bad for that. Anxiety is very common and to be told to 'stop' does not help in any way. It is very difficult for you because your parents do not believe in mental illness. You feeling suicidal indicates to me that you could do with some support. I am so sorry you are made to feel manipulative for crying or talking about how you feel. Your feelings are real and valid and you cannot help feeling this way.

I feel the best thing would be to talk to a therapist about your anxious thoughts. I do understand that may be difficult because your parents may not let you.

 

[Am33]

You are reading this on a phone or computer if your phone starts having technical problems we dont say the phone is no good its lazy. We know it's something that has gone haywire with its programming . maybe we downloaded a bad app ? O ur minds work similar to a computer with programming we can take in a virus in to our minds from something that happened in our past .Which creates a belief in our programming maybe you where a child and your parents took you out and in public and you had a bad experience someone step on your foot and you cried , etc... you where so young you dont rembember , but the program is still in your mind . When ever you go out . In public bad things can happen to me. That's what therapy does helps to uncover the program and delete it from our minds . You can also do positive affirmation.s to over come it also.