• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Do I have social anxiety or am I just extremely shy?

S

Spectator

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2020
Messages
7
Location
United States
Currently, I live in complete isolation. I don't have any friends here and I don't know how to make them. All my life I have struggled to make friends. The thought of speaking to others scares me. When people talk to me, I just give them the most generic or awkward responses (I lack any personality) and I feel an urge to get away from them. I am afraid of starting conversations partially because I don't know what I would say or if the other person even cares and I just feel anxious for reasons that I don't even understand. The worst feeling is when I try to talk to someone and just get ignored. This alone has discouraged me from speaking to others.

I remember a long time ago I gained the courage to try to reach out to someone and make friends with them. After talking with them a bit in class, I decided to sit by them during our lunch break. They gave me a weird stare and I felt very rejected. This made me feel horrible and I never tried anything like that again. Now even considering doing something like that gives me anxiety and it feels like an impossible task.

Maybe an explanation of the difference between the two would help.
 
Schitzoaffective007

Schitzoaffective007

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 17, 2020
Messages
172
Location
Florida USA
I don't know what to say to people either. Gets lonely..
 
Hamzah

Hamzah

Active member
Joined
Feb 17, 2020
Messages
27
Location
Krabi
Failure inspires winners. And failure defeats losers. It is the biggest secret of winners. People who avoid failure also avoid success. There is no chance of success without a chance of failure. Every failure is a lesson. If you are not willing to fail, you are not ready to succeed.
 
T

toutatis

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
1,371
Location
New Zealand
Hi,

I'm not a psychologist so I won't make a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder, but I have been diagnosed with it and the aspects you described here I can certainly relate to.

Hang in there and do what you need to do, but I would suggest talking with a mental health professional and describe to them everything with complete openness and honesty - if you feel it could help you. They may be be able to help whether it's a diagnosis of social anxiety or not.

Take good care and try not to ruminate on people, is my advice.

Thanks.
 
B

BSeptemberEnd

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2018
Messages
3
Currently, I live in complete isolation. I don't have any friends here and I don't know how to make them. All my life I have struggled to make friends. The thought of speaking to others scares me. When people talk to me, I just give them the most generic or awkward responses (I lack any personality) and I feel an urge to get away from them. I am afraid of starting conversations partially because I don't know what I would say or if the other person even cares and I just feel anxious for reasons that I don't even understand. The worst feeling is when I try to talk to someone and just get ignored. This alone has discouraged me from speaking to others.

I remember a long time ago I gained the courage to try to reach out to someone and make friends with them. After talking with them a bit in class, I decided to sit by them during our lunch break. They gave me a weird stare and I felt very rejected. This made me feel horrible and I never tried anything like that again. Now even considering doing something like that gives me anxiety and it feels like an impossible task.

Maybe an explanation of the difference between the two would help.
In my opinion (not a doctor) what you described is social anxiety.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,871
Location
Canada
It seems to me that shyness is both a feeling and an observable behavior. Because we can see shyness sometimes we use that label. But to me anxiety is the cause of shyness, and anxiety is the larger issue. Shyness gets downplayed as not as serious, though it is serious for many people. If anxiety is the dominant feeling socially, refer to that instead of shyness, I guess. I dunno, it's sort of confusing, the two are linked but not the same thing.
 
IncognitoMode

IncognitoMode

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
10
Location
United Kingdom
You basically described me and I was diagnosed with it but you'll never know unless you see an actual doctor
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,871
Location
Canada
you'll never know unless you see an actual doctor
Not sure about that. I've always known without a doctor saying so, though one psychiatrist did casually mention my social phobia many years ago. Guess that was like 25 years ago, don't know how she knew that, but I was aware of it well before then.
 
IncognitoMode

IncognitoMode

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
10
Location
United Kingdom
Not sure about that. I've always known without a doctor saying so, though one psychiatrist did casually mention my social phobia many years ago. Guess that was like 25 years ago, don't know how she knew that, but I was aware of it well before then.
It's still better to get a diagnosis from a professional though, but yeah, I sort of agree
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
767
Location
Scotland
Hi. No none of us can diagnose you, Unlike the others who have posted I am a little unsure if this is all about social anxiety tbh. While I am quite sure you DO have a personality I found that statement an unusual thing for someone to say. What do your parents say about how you were coming up through school? I find myself wondering if it is possible you might be on the autistic spectrum maybe? This can bring with it very much anxiety, with individuals frequently being anxious in public spaces etc Clearly this is just me second guessing what the problem is. So if it is possible I would suggest talking to people involved in your upbringing as a start point. And from there your GP. Let us know how you are getting on x
 
Hillman hunter

Hillman hunter

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
7,260
Location
West Midlands , England
hello, it sounds like social anxiety , i got diagnosed at 19 with it , also ocd ,
my doctor said i have a fear of people , which is true ,
ive cut myself off from people such a lot , as the anxiety is so bad ,
somebody at work who has a son with aspergers asked if i had that ,
who knows ,
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,871
Location
Canada
Notice the timeline on this thread and the number of posts from users. The first bunch are from a year ago, and some were made today. I doubt the OP is seeing this, ever.
 
Argon

Argon

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2019
Messages
304
Location
USA
Notice the timeline on this thread and the number of posts from users. The first bunch are from a year ago, and some were made today. I doubt the OP is seeing this, ever.
I get e-mails when a post of mine is quoted.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,871
Location
Canada
Yeah, I shut those off, would be too many. I was just thinking the OP made his post a year ago and has only 7 posts. Could be reading them I guess?
 
Argon

Argon

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2019
Messages
304
Location
USA
Yeah, I shut those off, would be too many. I was just thinking the OP made his post a year ago and has only 7 posts. Could be reading them I guess?
I don't shut them off. It's pretty easy to delete them.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
I Suffering from social anxiety, depression and extremely lonely, please help Social Anxiety Forum 9
D Made a video on best ways I've learned to defeat social anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 2
Sam1305 Do i even have social anxiety ? Social Anxiety Forum 12
W Overcoming GAD & Social Anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 4
OCDguy Beating Social Anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 10
T Anybody have advice on how to overcome social anxiety??? Social Anxiety Forum 5
T Social anxiety is crippling Social Anxiety Forum 10
L Social anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 8
U Social anxiety and accommodation Social Anxiety Forum 4
A How can I help my friend overcome his social anxiety? Social Anxiety Forum 7
KyussEatsTheSun Social Anxiety - Overcoming Phobias Concept Social Anxiety Forum 4
jajingna Recognizing social anxiety in other people Social Anxiety Forum 8
B Is social anxiety ever really gone? Social Anxiety Forum 45
Talina social anxiety and low self-esteem, I’m slowly getting tired of it Social Anxiety Forum 16
B My social anxiety revelation Social Anxiety Forum 2
O I think I might have social anxiety and/or depression. Social Anxiety Forum 7
A Social anxiety and depression Social Anxiety Forum 1
D I can’t eat in my own house because of social anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 6
D Social anxiety controls my life and it makes me so depressed. Social Anxiety Forum 13
UpnDwn1978 Social anxiety at work Social Anxiety Forum 10
A Social anxiety heavily crippled my life and still do. Social Anxiety Forum 10
S Social anxiety is running my life Social Anxiety Forum 8
OCDguy Causes of Social Anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 5
L Gaming with social anxiety sucks when it comes to talking on mic Social Anxiety Forum 10
C Introversion vs. Social Anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 1
J I've severe social anxiety because I feel like everyone is judging me and bitching me in the back. Social Anxiety Forum 5
L Social Anxiety Barriers Social Anxiety Forum 5
Mosswar New to Social Anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 1
sad_heart20 my social anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 9
R Social anxiety/paranoia Social Anxiety Forum 14
I improv for social anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 4
D social phobia combined with extreme shyness Social Anxiety Forum 21
B Bad social skills Social Anxiety Forum 3
D Is it bad for me to obsess over improving how I sound and how I act in social situations or do I need to stop overthinking so much? Social Anxiety Forum 9
JustinS1998 Question About Social Interaction Social Anxiety Forum 29
N Social media Social Anxiety Forum 9
R Minor issues with my social flatmate - help! Social Anxiety Forum 5
hicks Do you find anxiety suppresses your sense of humour? Social Anxiety Forum 6
C autism, anxiety, stuck Social Anxiety Forum 9
F Anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 9
L I need a job, but my anxiety won't let me Social Anxiety Forum 4
I Questions about the efficacy of medications in treating anxiety disorder Social Anxiety Forum 4
W Anxiety about the current lockdown ending Social Anxiety Forum 6
KyussEatsTheSun Does anxiety mask your true intelligence/wisdom? Social Anxiety Forum 13
Oden Extremely shy friend Social Anxiety Forum 3

Similar threads

Top