Do I have social anxiety or am I just extremely shy?

[Spectator]

Currently, I live in complete isolation. I don't have any friends here and I don't know how to make them. All my life I have struggled to make friends. The thought of speaking to others scares me. When people talk to me, I just give them the most generic or awkward responses (I lack any personality) and I feel an urge to get away from them. I am afraid of starting conversations partially because I don't know what I would say or if the other person even cares and I just feel anxious for reasons that I don't even understand. The worst feeling is when I try to talk to someone and just get ignored. This alone has discouraged me from speaking to others.

I remember a long time ago I gained the courage to try to reach out to someone and make friends with them. After talking with them a bit in class, I decided to sit by them during our lunch break. They gave me a weird stare and I felt very rejected. This made me feel horrible and I never tried anything like that again. Now even considering doing something like that gives me anxiety and it feels like an impossible task.

Maybe an explanation of the difference between the two would help.

 

[Schitzoaffective007]

I don't know what to say to people either. Gets lonely..

 

[Hamzah]

Failure inspires winners. And failure defeats losers. It is the biggest secret of winners. People who avoid failure also avoid success. There is no chance of success without a chance of failure. Every failure is a lesson. If you are not willing to fail, you are not ready to succeed.

 

[toutatis]

Hi,

I'm not a psychologist so I won't make a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder, but I have been diagnosed with it and the aspects you described here I can certainly relate to.

Hang in there and do what you need to do, but I would suggest talking with a mental health professional and describe to them everything with complete openness and honesty - if you feel it could help you. They may be be able to help whether it's a diagnosis of social anxiety or not.

Take good care and try not to ruminate on people, is my advice.

Thanks.

 

[BSeptemberEnd]

Currently, I live in complete isolation. I don't have any friends here and I don't know how to make them. All my life I have struggled to make friends. The thought of speaking to others scares me. When people talk to me, I just give them the most generic or awkward responses (I lack any personality) and I feel an urge to get away from them. I am afraid of starting conversations partially because I don't know what I would say or if the other person even cares and I just feel anxious for reasons that I don't even understand. The worst feeling is when I try to talk to someone and just get ignored. This alone has discouraged me from speaking to others.

I remember a long time ago I gained the courage to try to reach out to someone and make friends with them. After talking with them a bit in class, I decided to sit by them during our lunch break. They gave me a weird stare and I felt very rejected. This made me feel horrible and I never tried anything like that again. Now even considering doing something like that gives me anxiety and it feels like an impossible task.

Maybe an explanation of the difference between the two would help.

In my opinion (not a doctor) what you described is social anxiety.

 

[jajingna]

It seems to me that shyness is both a feeling and an observable behavior. Because we can see shyness sometimes we use that label. But to me anxiety is the cause of shyness, and anxiety is the larger issue. Shyness gets downplayed as not as serious, though it is serious for many people. If anxiety is the dominant feeling socially, refer to that instead of shyness, I guess. I dunno, it's sort of confusing, the two are linked but not the same thing.

 

[IncognitoMode]

You basically described me and I was diagnosed with it but you'll never know unless you see an actual doctor

 

[jajingna]

you'll never know unless you see an actual doctor

Not sure about that. I've always known without a doctor saying so, though one psychiatrist did casually mention my social phobia many years ago. Guess that was like 25 years ago, don't know how she knew that, but I was aware of it well before then.

 

[IncognitoMode]

Not sure about that. I've always known without a doctor saying so, though one psychiatrist did casually mention my social phobia many years ago. Guess that was like 25 years ago, don't know how she knew that, but I was aware of it well before then.

It's still better to get a diagnosis from a professional though, but yeah, I sort of agree

 

[celticlass]

Hi. No none of us can diagnose you, Unlike the others who have posted I am a little unsure if this is all about social anxiety tbh. While I am quite sure you DO have a personality I found that statement an unusual thing for someone to say. What do your parents say about how you were coming up through school? I find myself wondering if it is possible you might be on the autistic spectrum maybe? This can bring with it very much anxiety, with individuals frequently being anxious in public spaces etc Clearly this is just me second guessing what the problem is. So if it is possible I would suggest talking to people involved in your upbringing as a start point. And from there your GP. Let us know how you are getting on x

 

[Hillman hunter]

hello, it sounds like social anxiety , i got diagnosed at 19 with it , also ocd ,
my doctor said i have a fear of people , which is true ,
ive cut myself off from people such a lot , as the anxiety is so bad ,
somebody at work who has a son with aspergers asked if i had that ,
who knows ,

 

[jajingna]

Notice the timeline on this thread and the number of posts from users. The first bunch are from a year ago, and some were made today. I doubt the OP is seeing this, ever.

 

[Argon]

Notice the timeline on this thread and the number of posts from users. The first bunch are from a year ago, and some were made today. I doubt the OP is seeing this, ever.

I get e-mails when a post of mine is quoted.

 

[jajingna]

Yeah, I shut those off, would be too many. I was just thinking the OP made his post a year ago and has only 7 posts. Could be reading them I guess?

 

[Argon]

Yeah, I shut those off, would be too many. I was just thinking the OP made his post a year ago and has only 7 posts. Could be reading them I guess?

I don't shut them off. It's pretty easy to delete them.