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Do I have relationship anxiety

L

Leostar

Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Ireland
Hello

I’ve recently started seeing a boy who I really like. He’s the first person I’ve allowed myself to fall for in a long time. I’m usually very cautious and look for someone I want to keep in my life. I’d class myself as a massive over thinker. When we started seeing each other first I immediately jumped to the future and started to question everything. I also ask myself questions like is he right for me, where is this going, is this the right person for me and I even look at my friends relationships and tell myself I deserve to be as happy as them. Thing is a really like him and I know I do but I still continuously question myself! I actually feel sorry for myself for giving me such a hard time! I’ve tried to stop and start living in the moment and thinking about how great we have it now! I’m really happy when I’m with him.

We don’t get to see each other as often as I’d like. He works 2 hours away. When we do see each other I have an amazing time. He’s starting a new job in August which means he will have to travel a lot and could be be away for 6 months at a time. This is going to last 2 years. This scares me because what happens next? We’ve only been seeing each other for 4 months.
I guess what I’m looking for support with is do I stay trying to live in the moment, when the time comes will a long distance relationship work or should I protect myself and not let myself get too invested.
 

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JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
2,748
Location
Nashua NH
Hello

I’ve recently started seeing a boy who I really like. He’s the first person I’ve allowed myself to fall for in a long time. I’m usually very cautious and look for someone I want to keep in my life. I’d class myself as a massive over thinker. When we started seeing each other first I immediately jumped to the future and started to question everything. I also ask myself questions like is he right for me, where is this going, is this the right person for me and I even look at my friends relationships and tell myself I deserve to be as happy as them. Thing is a really like him and I know I do but I still continuously question myself! I actually feel sorry for myself for giving me such a hard time! I’ve tried to stop and start living in the moment and thinking about how great we have it now! I’m really happy when I’m with him.

We don’t get to see each other as often as I’d like. He works 2 hours away. When we do see each other I have an amazing time. He’s starting a new job in August which means he will have to travel a lot and could be be away for 6 months at a time. This is going to last 2 years. This scares me because what happens next? We’ve only been seeing each other for 4 months.
I guess what I’m looking for support with is do I stay trying to live in the moment, when the time comes will a long distance relationship work or should I protect myself and not let myself get too invested.
I’d say it can be really hard to find a quality person you connect with and enjoy spending time
with. I would continue to enjoy yourself with the relationship and see where things take you. If he does have to be away for long periods it’s possible to maintain the relationship. I’d worry about the future less knowing that he is the kind of person you would want to be with and just enjoy being together and growing the relationship more. xo, j
 
R

Russchad

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
65
Location
South shields
If you really love someone theres umpteen things dont matter e.g race age distance the real thing that matters is your love for each other and how much happiness you give each other
 
A

Agag

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 3, 2019
Messages
105
Location
London
Hello

I’ve recently started seeing a boy who I really like. He’s the first person I’ve allowed myself to fall for in a long time. I’m usually very cautious and look for someone I want to keep in my life. I’d class myself as a massive over thinker. When we started seeing each other first I immediately jumped to the future and started to question everything. I also ask myself questions like is he right for me, where is this going, is this the right person for me and I even look at my friends relationships and tell myself I deserve to be as happy as them. Thing is a really like him and I know I do but I still continuously question myself! I actually feel sorry for myself for giving me such a hard time! I’ve tried to stop and start living in the moment and thinking about how great we have it now! I’m really happy when I’m with him.

We don’t get to see each other as often as I’d like. He works 2 hours away. When we do see each other I have an amazing time. He’s starting a new job in August which means he will have to travel a lot and could be be away for 6 months at a time. This is going to last 2 years. This scares me because what happens next? We’ve only been seeing each other for 4 months.
I guess what I’m looking for support with is do I stay trying to live in the moment, when the time comes will a long distance relationship work or should I protect myself and not let myself get too invested.
The thing that could happen emotionally is that you start to feel sorry for him, saying things to yourself like, "he is a good hardworking man... he can't help the long distance thing," and so on - while you are feeling the pain of the distances between every meet up.

With the right attitude you could get through and make it work. After all, army wives that have to go through it do make it work.

But, overall, it will depend on the quality of the communication/time you spend with him. At this point, you should already be able to communicate this that you are sharing here with him. If not, start asking yourself why.
 
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