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Do I have OCD?

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Antartic Hand

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Australia
Hi all. I have struggled with mental health issues for most of my life, but about 7 years ago I was presented with a new challenge. While ruminating has always been with me, at this time intrusive thoughts got really serious. During the first bout I had a major depressive episode, so obviously I knew something was up, but only recently have I had an idea as to what that might be.

I think I may have "Pure O" OCD; that is, obsessions that do not manifest in physical compulsions (like cleaning, checking locks, etc). The types of obsessions I tend to have are moral questions (though I have had others), such as the nature of altruism and what it means for how we should behave. But these ruminations simply stay in my head. Sure, they affect my behaviour generally, but I have not noticed any kind of obvious compulsions.

It has taken me this long to consider this diagnosis for two reasons:

1. I find the nature of my ruminations to be so silly and embarrassing that I really have not been able to discuss them with my Psych. I have mentioned them, but have never found the courage to go in depth.

2. I naively thought that OCD was just how it is typically portrayed. I wasn't constantly washing my hands or avoiding cracks on the footpath, so I just didn't consider it.

It has been somewhat of a relief to know that what I have may be recognised, but I am still not entirely sure if what I have is OCD. Most cases of Pure O seem to involve religious questions - or "scrupulosity" - whereas mine tend to concern secular morality and a desire to be certain of moral questions.

Any advice on what I may be experiencing would be greatly appreciated. I am of course open to any kind of self help that may be available for me. Thanks in advance.
 
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Rogue7

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2020
Messages
91
Location
Australia
Do these intrusive thoughts bother you or upset you? I have harm ocd. I may do things sometimes to deal with the fear of potentially killing someone or myself but nothing specific. Usually fasting (I also have an eating disorder). Sometimes I sedate myself. But nothing specific everytime. It's just the thoughts become urges and that is scary.
 
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Antartic Hand

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Australia
Yes, they are very bothering. They have accounted for 4 major depressive episodes, and right now I am fearing I am on the cusp of another. When I try to gain a sense of certainty on moral questions it simply leads me into a rabbit hole of uncertainty, and anguish ensues.
 
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