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do i have bipolar?

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princess_p

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Jan 15, 2010
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2
hi..well..im a lil confused. i have a lil problem with self harm and i want to stop. im too ashamed to tell anyone and i dont want to go to the doctors so i have been looking online as to why i do it and how i can stop. while ive been searching ive realised i have symptoms that point to bipolar. what do i do? i dont want to go to the doctors. it doesnt really get me into trouble...just the way i feel in myself- i get into arguments with my bf...but nothing major...il describe myself and seewhat u think.
well,,sometimes..i have really over exagerated feelings,,,upset,,love,,,anger,,hence the self harming.
75% of the time i feel down and crap about myself,,,,i hate the way i look...so much that i cry and angry with other people for it..like my boyfriend. i dont know y! and i will search on the internet of ways to get pretty.
some days i just lounge...no energy..really tired...cant b bothered with anyone. then on occassions..il b really enthusiastic....il get an idea into my head..and i cnt stop thinking about it,,and i think i can really do it. then maybe a week later i think..il never b able to do it. i never feel quite right in myself...i feel a lil ill majority of the time.i have days like once every couple of months where i am really hyper and talk non stop and get really giddy...people just laugh at me and say "gosh whats up with u"
i dont know what to think....theres part of me that thinks i should ignore it..im fine...i dont want to b labelled with a mental issue..but then the other part of me is saying,,but there is something wrong..i dont want to feel down all the time and i deffo dont want to self harm anymore. xx
 
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suzy

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Jun 26, 2009
Messages
1,064
Don't worry,


The fact you are aware of your changes in mood is good. When I was diagnosed I was not aware that I was being abnormal. You need to address the self harming problem, please go and see someone about it. It's great you say you want to stop so you can do it :)

Go to the docter, DO NOT SEARCH ONLINE it will drive you MAD!!!!!! Getting ideas and things that are wrong with you. It will end up creating worries for you!
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,850
Location
Yorkshire, UK
Hihi,

No-one can diagnose you on here gal :). The best thing you can do it go see your doctor, it's all confidential and no-one will get you into any kind of trouble The self harming issue really needs to be addressed & your doctor is probably the best person for it. In the meantime, just make sure you keep all wounds clean; disinfect, clean bandages etc/ The worst thing you can do is self-diagnose it really will have you pulling your hair out :scared:

Like Suzy says it's really good that you are aware of these mood swings, I too wasn't aware until my GP mentioned it to me (10 years later mind).

Take care :flowers:
 
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princess_p

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Jan 15, 2010
Messages
2
thankyou for your replies :)
today i feel really good...i feel quite energetic and dont feel like theres anything up. i feel like a different person than i did yesterday...i really darent go to the docs about self harm...but i think im just going to try and stop by myself. the harming isnt that bad usually,,,just scratchin..but ive really hurt myself this time....becuase i had a HUGE argument with my bf. ive bruised all my arm and got a big graze tht was bleeding a lil last night cos i tried to cover it up with foundation. Nobody knows about my self harm...just me...and you lot ha :) if i hurt myslef again..i will take your advice and go to the docs. i feel like self harming is normal...i know its wrong but it feels normal to me... Anyway...thankyou for your replies. xxx
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Jun 28, 2008
Messages
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Location
Yorkshire, UK
It's a coping mechanism (a bad one) but there are so many other ways - there is a section on self harm, I'm sure if you scan through there will be a few threads on alternatives :). But on the whole, you should really see your GP about it :).

It's good to hear you feel better today but remember you are entitled to mood swings. Everyone can have crappy days where the feel a bit down & worthless, but their mood could pick up and they feel 100% the next day. Bipolar is the extreme of these circumstances, as I'm sure you're aware. I, and I'm sure others who suffer with it, have to remind my boyfriend, parents, friends etc that if I'm allowed to be giddy and excited and it's nothing to do with being manic, likewise if I'm having an off day it's doesn't mean I'm suicidal! If you're still really concerned about it, your GP will be able to help & possible refer you on to specialists.

Take care :hug:
 
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colh

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
12
Location
Worcester Park
Help

I think I may have Bipolar too.
about 10 year ago when I was around 23, I was seeing doctors and they mentioned Manic Depression at the time.

I 'panicked' back then and stopped seeing the doctors.
Over the last couple of years I have been on a variety of pills - and am currently on Sertaline 50mg per day for depression.

The majority of the week, I am irritable, snappy, dont want to talk to people, tired, and it is a real struggle to go to work.
I tend to go to work, struggle through the days, and come home and lie down until the morning.

Some days though, I wake up and I feel 'high', like I have taken drugs, and at work I am the life and soul of the party, non stop chatting and buzzy - full of energy.

I used to go out clubbing a lot, but now have no interest in going anywhere, unless I am having a 'high day', when I want to fit as much in as possible for the day.

The Low days are really bad, like today, when I just feel numb and abit suicidal, but the Good days, are out of this world, like yesterday when I don't stop talking and joking about.

I cannot go to the doctors about this, as I have 2 children with my ex wife, and if she gets wind of this, my contact will be stopped, so I feel like I a trapped in my own head, and i really cannot see a way out.

I should add I am a 34 yr old south London guy.

I am desperate to sort this out so any help would be good
 
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suzy

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Jun 26, 2009
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From what I know sertraline and bipolar are dangerous, I blame that drug for my high episode as it raised my "happy chemicals" too much and BOOM I was gone

(Er not to worry you, sorry, it is a drug for depression and is an SSIR- selective serotonin thingy I have forgotten now, so it works on your happy chemicals. Just keep an eye on your mood, if other people start saying if you are getting "too happy", but as your say you are also having downs too maybe it is not something to worry to much about? I just remember getting happier and happier on sertraline then I flipped, my mum was saying things like are you sure these pills aren't making you too happy?)
 
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colh

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
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Location
Worcester Park
Thanks for your reply

That's what worries me though.
The Sertraline is to stop depression yet for half the time I feel suicidal if I'm honest.

When I'm up I am very up but the slightest thing causes me to go into a decline

Yesterday I was getting asked all day at work if I was on cocaine (which I don't touch anymore), yet today I have been sat in my bedroom with a bottle of wine and my sleeping pills debating whether to take the lot.
 
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DiagnosisBipolar2

DiagnosisBipolar2

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May 25, 2009
Messages
261
Location
Wiltshire
Thanks for your reply

That's what worries me though.
The Sertraline is to stop depression yet for half the time I feel suicidal if I'm honest.

When I'm up I am very up but the slightest thing causes me to go into a decline

Yesterday I was getting asked all day at work if I was on cocaine (which I don't touch anymore), yet today I have been sat in my bedroom with a bottle of wine and my sleeping pills debating whether to take the lot.
Sorry to hear of your current predicament. Instead of beating yourself up, worrying what could be, and diagnosing yourself with all manner of problems (the internet is not your reliable friend) make an appointment to see your GP and take it from there.

If you are really feeling suicidal, take yourself to A&E and let the consultant psychiatrist there do a full assessment.

Best wishes.
 
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colh

Member
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Jan 22, 2010
Messages
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Location
Worcester Park
I think that now I need to do what you suggested.
I am just so scared as if my ex wife finds out, she will use it against me and stop me seeing my children.
I am also scared that my job will find out
 
DiagnosisBipolar2

DiagnosisBipolar2

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May 25, 2009
Messages
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Location
Wiltshire
I think that now I need to do what you suggested.
I am just so scared as if my ex wife finds out, she will use it against me and stop me seeing my children.
I am also scared that my job will find out
Why would your ex wife find out? We have rules in this country on patient confidentiality; unless you make a specific threat against her or any children?

Job wise you can disclose what you want.

Get yourself sorted then worry about the latter.
 
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colh

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Jan 22, 2010
Messages
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Location
Worcester Park
I had a long court case with her for access, and had to provide full medical disclosure, as she alleged that I was diagnosed Schizophrenic (which I'm not).

I am scared that she will find out in the future and it will ruin things

Regarding my job, I think that if I go to see someone they will make me go to hospital at the moment because it is not good how i am and my job will get ruined as what would i tell them about not being there
 
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colh

Member
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Jan 22, 2010
Messages
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Location
Worcester Park
i should add that i have never made a threat to me ex or the kids or never would.
 
DiagnosisBipolar2

DiagnosisBipolar2

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Joined
May 25, 2009
Messages
261
Location
Wiltshire
I had a long court case with her for access, and had to provide full medical disclosure, as she alleged that I was diagnosed Schizophrenic (which I'm not).

I am scared that she will find out in the future and it will ruin things

Regarding my job, I think that if I go to see someone they will make me go to hospital at the moment because it is not good how i am and my job will get ruined as what would i tell them about not being there
What have you been diagnosed with? You cannot be accused of being schizophrenic if you are not?

Find out about what? Having a mental health issue is not a crime!!

Regarding job: make you go to hospital? You have rights unless you are sectioned you cannot be made to do that! You have the right to disclose as much or as little as you wish to.
 
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