Do I have Avoidant Personality Disorder?

M

MidnightMusician

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#1
Hi All!

This is a weird one now.

I haven't got a fear of people, I haven't been neglected or rejected as such in real life, but for some reason I am very anti-social and never socialise. By socialise, I mean parties, clubs, pubs and social events of that nature. I don't have a problem going out, or going to the shops or supermarkets or such like but I just very rarely speak to, or interact with people.

I am studying at the moment but because I'm such a loner, I am not bonding with people very well.

I am extremely lonely and been single for a long time too and it's really starting to get me down now. I don't know what's wrong with me. I seem to have no forwardness to approach or longing to socialise or interact with people, even though I'm extremely lonely. I'm not rude and am very chatty if someone initiates the conversation or interaction first. I just never get the urge to. Then after a while, depends sometimes, but will just say, "Ok mate, cheers" or "Nice one" and then I will go. I'm always polite though and don't rudely leave or anything. I just say thanks and go. I have just come to the realisation now though that it's a very negative destructive pattern I have been adopting for quite a few years now.

I just put it all down to depression and periodic anxiety, but sometimes think, have I something else going on?

I looked up Anti-Social Behaviour Disorder but that definitely isn't me. I then looked up Avoidant Personality Disorder, and it does seem to read like it's me from Wikipedia.

It says on one part, people with this disorder display symptoms of being "uneasy, anxious, lonely, unwanted and isolated from others."

They all fit, that's what I'm like.
 
L

Ladygrey

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#2
Have you considered a type of autism or schizoid personality disorder. I just say that because my son has both and I see similarities in your presentation.
 
monopod

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#3
I recognise a lot of what you say in myself. I originally started looking into PDs, but I now think some form of high-functioning autism is more likely... I've been waiting for the best part of a year to get an appointment for an asessment though.

PDs are a diagnosis of exclusion - ie. you need to rule out all of the other possibilities first. There's an autism screening test you can take:

Take The AQ Test | WIRED
 
L

Ladygrey

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#4
This is a very accurate test as I did it on my son and he scored off the charts and also so did my father. My son was diagnosed by a multi disciplinary team and he has had many assessment by top psychologists and psychiatrists so I know this is very accurate test. Autism runs in families...
 
calypso

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#5
I need to make sure that you realise that no-one on a forum can diagnose another person, so suggestions can only be that and not definite at all.

I would say that diagnosing yourself from anything on the internet isn't wise, but hope you don't mind me saying that. I would advocate that you try some therapy and find out what is going on with you. Therapy isn't about finding out things only, but also how to approach life with new techniques into how our minds work and to use them.

I honestly think you should get someone who sees a lot of different problems and have them help work out the patterns of your needs. Best of wishes. xxx
 
M

MidnightMusician

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#6
Have you considered a type of autism or schizoid personality disorder. I just say that because my son has both and I see similarities in your presentation.
Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen and his colleagues at Cambridge's Autism Research Centre have created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults. In the first major trial using the test, the average score in the control group was 16.4. Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher. The test is not a means for making a diagnosis, however, and many who score above 32 and even meet the diagnostic criteria for mild autism or Asperger's report no difficulty functioning in their everyday lives.

Yeah I got 32 but some I wasn't sure about what was the correct answer. I also got very sick and tied of answering the questions half way through if that means anything lol!
 
calypso

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#8
I stand by what I said, don't let online tests inspire you to diagnose yourself. Its like looking up symptoms in a Medical Dictionary, you end up believing you have everything. I am not dismissing your distress at all, and that is what we are here for, to support you in that distress.
 
Toasted Crumpet

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#9
I don't think the AQ can be that accurate as I scored highly on it too, but I think my issues are more down to social anxiety, and a lot of the questions can apply to social anxiety as well. If you want to rule out Autism you're probably better off seeing an expert.

It's interesting what Monopod says about PDs being a diagnosis of exclusion - I've read that a lot of females with BPD diagnoses are actually on the autisitic spectrum. I guess no one thought of testing them for autism.
 
F

Frankie1980

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#11
Hi Midnight, i definately agree with Calypso, go and speak to a GP and let them refer you to a specialist, its easy to go on to the internet and read things up or check symptons out, i like to do that too, but its too generalised, not every answer is right for everyone, each person is different and indiviadual, better to speak to someone and they can tell you what type you have.
I also would not read into it too much about your social behaviour, i am shy and sometimes i withdraw from people, mainly i feel out of place in a group of people, i am better in one to one conversations.
Let us know what you find out

All the best Frankie
 
M

MidnightMusician

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#12
You're right toasted, they could. Might be just a few things tied in with me. Depression, anxiety and social anxiety. They can cross over you're right, social anxiety and autism on some questions on that test. I haven't got Avoidant Personality Disorder I don't think anyway. I just watched a video online about it and thie woman said, you avoid things because you're fearful of doing something stupid or of people not liking you. That's not me. I just avoid socialising but don't really know why. I thought about this and thought that it's cause I'm a bit shy, don't really feel in a sociable or happy mood (depression I think) and I generally make mistakes or say the wrong things, particularly around women lol! think that's what it is. I find ('cause I've been single a while) that being around women when you're totally useless at pulling winds me up and disheartens me lol!

I suppose then, in retrospect, there is a kind of fear there?