- Jan 12, 2021
I don't meet with friends very often and til a few days ago i never really thought about that but recently i had a sleepover at a friends house for the first time in almost 2 years. I had never felt worse. The first few hours were fine, we played some games and had fun but when it came time to eat with her family i just wanted to go home. That feeling continued and thoughts like "she hates you", "you annoy her and her family" and "they think you have no manners " popped into my head. After we watched 2 movies and got ready to sleep i just wanted to cry and go home. I even considered taking a train home at 11:30 pm. In the end i stayed because i couldn't bring myself to tell her that i wanted to go home. In the morning i said i still had homework and used that as an exuse to leave early. To be honest, Covid has kinda been a blessing for me since i dont have to interact with people as much. I didn't even know i didn't like talking to people but since it has been striped away from me i have realised how much i preffer being alone in my room. I am not yet familiar with the symptons of (social) anxiety so it would be helpful to know if my experience is even considered as anxiety.