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Do i even have social anxiety ?

Sam1305

Sam1305

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Jan 12, 2021
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Location
Germany
I don't meet with friends very often and til a few days ago i never really thought about that but recently i had a sleepover at a friends house for the first time in almost 2 years. I had never felt worse. The first few hours were fine, we played some games and had fun but when it came time to eat with her family i just wanted to go home. That feeling continued and thoughts like "she hates you", "you annoy her and her family" and "they think you have no manners " popped into my head. After we watched 2 movies and got ready to sleep i just wanted to cry and go home. I even considered taking a train home at 11:30 pm. In the end i stayed because i couldn't bring myself to tell her that i wanted to go home. In the morning i said i still had homework and used that as an exuse to leave early. To be honest, Covid has kinda been a blessing for me since i dont have to interact with people as much. I didn't even know i didn't like talking to people but since it has been striped away from me i have realised how much i preffer being alone in my room. I am not yet familiar with the symptons of (social) anxiety so it would be helpful to know if my experience is even considered as anxiety.
 
Talina

Talina

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It sounds a lot like you have a really low self-esteem and a negative view of yourself. I’m sorry you had to go through such a stressing moment. It can be symptom of anxiety because it’s causing you distress and low feelings.

I’m handling social anxiety but mine comes from deep fear within all interactions with people. It’s quite heavy on the fear side but also being judged. I will avoid being with my friends because going out of the door mean I would need to social interact with people. So I’m always worrying and scared. I will worry often before, during and after any social interactions. I can never be truly relaxed around people. But this is how I feel with my social anxiety. People will have different symptoms and how bad it is.

You should talk with a professional and get extra help, because of how distressing it got. Self-diagnose is never good to do. You might have social anxiety or it’s something else that cause you to feel like that. But that’s what a health professional should try to help you figure it out ☺
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I think social anxiety is something you would know you have if you experience it often or intensely enough. But it could be limited to specific situations or just around certain people. Maybe for some people it comes and goes? It's a tricky thing, you sort of discover it looking back sometimes on your past behavior, wondering what caused that anxiety or actions you dislike. Then if you also analyze your own behavior a lot, even scrutinize small details and obsess over little things, I think that could indicate social anxiety too. I think it has a way of making a big deal out of social interactions, giving little things too much importance, fearing judgements or criticisms, rejections or embarrassments so much that you recognize it's a problem. That's sort of how it is for me, so I know it's there.
 
Sam1305

Sam1305

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Location
Germany
Thank you so much for your answers. I will definitly try to talk to a professional before taking social anxiety as my diagnose so that i don't spread false information or offend peole.
 
Talina

Talina

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Thank you so much for your answers. I will definitly try to talk to a professional before taking social anxiety as my diagnose so that i don't spread false information or offend peole.
You wouldn’t be spreading any false information and I don’t think people would of gotten offended.

I already had my suspects before getting diagnosed for social anxiety. So it’s nothing wrong looking around. When you talk with a professional you can bring up your own thoughts and tell them what you think.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
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I don't meet with friends very often and til a few days ago i never really thought about that but recently i had a sleepover at a friends house for the first time in almost 2 years. I had never felt worse. The first few hours were fine, we played some games and had fun but when it came time to eat with her family i just wanted to go home. That feeling continued and thoughts like "she hates you", "you annoy her and her family" and "they think you have no manners " popped into my head. After we watched 2 movies and got ready to sleep i just wanted to cry and go home. I even considered taking a train home at 11:30 pm. In the end i stayed because i couldn't bring myself to tell her that i wanted to go home. In the morning i said i still had homework and used that as an exuse to leave early. To be honest, Covid has kinda been a blessing for me since i dont have to interact with people as much. I didn't even know i didn't like talking to people but since it has been striped away from me i have realised how much i preffer being alone in my room. I am not yet familiar with the symptons of (social) anxiety so it would be helpful to know if my experience is even considered as anxiety.
I have experienced something similar, and it was when my fight or flight response was triggered. At the time I felt anxious, stressed and uncomfortable. I don't know if this sounds familiar? In my case I questioned what it was that triggered the fight or flight response... Having said all of that though, best leave it to Professional Health Teams. Hope this helps. :)
 
D

derekhhh

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Jan 2, 2019
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4
Hey Sam,
My theory is that everybody has anxiety in some way. It can manifest in negative thinking. But there are ways to control our thoughts. Next time you're in a similar situation, when a negative thought comes, try having positive thoughts, in the form of sentences. When a negative thought "they hate me" comes, follow it up with "I'm having fun here." Notice I didn't follow with "they like me" because it doesn't matter if they like you or not. It only matters how you feel.

So when you're in a similar situation, remind your brain "stop trying to understand". And get out of your head and into the present moment. Look at your surroundings and focus on what YOU want to do. Enjoying yourself with your friends is your birthright.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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I don't meet with friends very often and til a few days ago i never really thought about that but recently i had a sleepover at a friends house for the first time in almost 2 years. I had never felt worse. The first few hours were fine, we played some games and had fun but when it came time to eat with her family i just wanted to go home. That feeling continued and thoughts like "she hates you", "you annoy her and her family" and "they think you have no manners " popped into my head. After we watched 2 movies and got ready to sleep i just wanted to cry and go home. I even considered taking a train home at 11:30 pm. In the end i stayed because i couldn't bring myself to tell her that i wanted to go home. In the morning i said i still had homework and used that as an exuse to leave early. To be honest, Covid has kinda been a blessing for me since i dont have to interact with people as much. I didn't even know i didn't like talking to people but since it has been striped away from me i have realised how much i preffer being alone in my room. I am not yet familiar with the symptons of (social) anxiety so it would be helpful to know if my experience is even considered as anxiety.
I can relate very much to this, especially the negative thoughts and low self esteem.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
I have avoidant personality disorder, which is somewhat similar to social anxiety. I don't like to be around people either, even not my own family. Not for too long though. It just drains me.

Would you consider to get help, like therapy?
All the best.
 
Sam1305

Sam1305

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Joined
Jan 12, 2021
Messages
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Location
Germany
I have been to therapy a few times for SH but i stopped going a few days before the first lockdown. i never really realised that i don't like being around people until not long ago so i have not talked to a proffesional about this but i will definitly try to do that soon. I will also try and think more positive in such situations like Derek suggested.
 
K

karl7

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Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
918
I don't meet with friends very often and til a few days ago i never really thought about that but recently i had a sleepover at a friends house for the first time in almost 2 years. I had never felt worse. The first few hours were fine, we played some games and had fun but when it came time to eat with her family i just wanted to go home. That feeling continued and thoughts like "she hates you", "you annoy her and her family" and "they think you have no manners " popped into my head. After we watched 2 movies and got ready to sleep i just wanted to cry and go home. I even considered taking a train home at 11:30 pm. In the end i stayed because i couldn't bring myself to tell her that i wanted to go home. In the morning i said i still had homework and used that as an exuse to leave early. To be honest, Covid has kinda been a blessing for me since i dont have to interact with people as much. I didn't even know i didn't like talking to people but since it has been striped away from me i have realised how much i preffer being alone in my room. I am not yet familiar with the symptons of (social) anxiety so it would be helpful to know if my experience is even considered as anxiety.
welcome to the forums @Sam1305 i have social anxiety myself and am somewhat isolated. But I do like these forums, they are nice and understanding.....i hope you like it here
 
zula77

zula77

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Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
45
Location
York
Completely understand what you mean when you say you find it easier being alone. Just remember there is nothing wrong with this, there are plenty of people who prefer being in their own company and this is actually a really positive thing because it means we aren't relying on others and we are content in our own company :)
 
P

Pollypop

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England. Derbyshire
I can relate very much to this, especially the negative thoughts and low self esteem.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
I have avoidant personality disorder, which is somewhat similar to social anxiety. I don't like to be around people either, even not my own family. Not for too long though. It just drains me.

Would you consider to get help, like therapy?
All the best.
I understand this completely.
I am also diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder.
Also, GAD, Depression and several others.
One being dependent personality disorder.

Had my doubts about this, but realised I could no longer leave the house,
even for appointments, without my husband taking me..
Also I couldn’t make decisions easily without confirmation.

Getting ready to go through the door is almost a nightmare.
I feel so guilty that I have been “saved” from this by the pandemic
when thousands of others are suffering.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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I understand this completely.
I am also diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder.
Also, GAD, Depression and several others.
One being dependent personality disorder.

Had my doubts about this, but realised I could no longer leave the house,
even for appointments, without my husband taking me..
Also I couldn’t make decisions easily without confirmation.

Getting ready to go through the door is almost a nightmare.
I feel so guilty that I have been “saved” from this by the pandemic
when thousands of others are suffering.
I have dependent traits too, if it wasn't for my boyfriend I would probably only leave the house to go to the supermarket. Its not that I am afraid to go outside, I just don't want to be outside (or anywhere else) alone. I am, aslo not very troubled by the lockdown. I am in my comfort zone, at home with my man.

Going off topic a bit here though, sorry for that.
 
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