Dissociation, sleep paralysis, etc... HELP!!!

[Star-28]

Oh my gosh. Im freaked out right now. Okay so the past couple of nights I have been having dreams where I was walking around my house and then I would realize I was still asleep and freak out and then wake up with my heart pounding. This has happened years ago and back then I sometimes could not wake myself. It scares the bejesus out of me!!!!

Even worse??? Yeah!! So today Im walking around the house and I start to dissociate. It was like I was following my body around, or someone else was in control of my body. Then I freaked out thinking I might be asleep, but I wasnt, but then I was thinking, "What if I am and cant wake up???"

Then my heart started pounding and I got extremely paranoid like something was going to get me. This is the first this has happened while awake. I feel like I am losing touch with what is real and what is a dream What is going on?? Is this Psychosis?? I havent been psychotic in years and this stuff I just described is all new symptoms. Please help me guys. It is a long time before my next pdoc appointment. Do I need to be back on Risperdal??

I dont know what is happening Im freaking out!!!

 

[diddypinks]

hi star that sounds scary have you recently have a med change? maybe contact your doctor if you can? diddy

 

[Apotheosis]

Hi Star - I get all this stuff too. I get it all very regularly, & I've had it for years. I try to just accept it. I know that's hard to do; but try & go with it. The more that I have fought against it; the worse that it is. I often have to wake myself up; but I've got better at not reacting to it all with panic.

 

[Star-28]

I am currently not on any anti psychotic meds diddy. I came off of them back in september because I could no longer afford them. I was doing so good I honestly thought I was better ya know, but this shit always seems to sneak back up on me. I try to fight it and it gets so bad I just withdraw from everybody and sit in my house scared to death.

I have been so extremely paraoid. I dont know what to do. I have called everywhere. I do not have insurance so therefore I have to either pay $350.00 or wait three months. I might end up in the psych ward by then.

I literally feel like I have taken some sort of LSD. Hallucianagenic drug or something. I dont even drink or smoke and I am very physically healthy. Just not mentally obviously....

 

[diddypinks]

dear star that is awful,i feel for you can you buy the meds yourself on the internet cheaper? or just get a few to tide you over there are online pharmacies that'll sell you anything to your door i know cause i'm a grubby little addict (not any more tho) my heart goes out to you i know that fear all to well, all tho it doesnt seem like it right now everythings going to be ok just FIND A WAY to get meds thats just what id do if i was you, cant imagine being in your situation stay strong mate diddy

 

[Star-28]

well i talked to my childhood friend today. she has manic depressive illness and has been through alot. She said my psychosis started two months ago. she could tell I was having symptoms then, but we haven't talked since and she said I have got to get help right now because I have gotten progressively worse.

Im so pissed!! I thought this shit was over. She wouldnt even listen to my very logical explanation of why I check the air vents in the house. She said you are sick and you need to go to the hospital. Well easy for her to say. She has a very good job with health insurance and family support etc..

All i can do is go switch doctors tomorrow and make an appointment. It will be probably two months or so before I can get in so I just have to pray I dont lose my shit before then. My boyfriend has no idea. Im scared for him to find out. He has enough stress in his life right now. I dont want to add to it. Plus I just dont know how he would react.

I asked him what he would do if I one day developed a mental illness, and he said that it wouldnt be my fault so he would help me. But you know how people say one thing and when it happens they do something else. Ugh.. So frustrating.. Thank god I have you guys for support. No one else understands!!!!

Thanks guys

 

[diddypinks]

hi star how you doing? good i hope, in england we moan a lot about the nhs but at least itd free id like to send you some seroquel through the post but then what would happen when that ran out? hope you are well diddy