Dissociation coping skills

M

Maribii14

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
9
#1
Hi, I was wondering how people cope when they are dissociating..

When I dissociate, I cannot speak. I sit or lie very still, and silently cry. Its embarrassing... people try to help or get me to talk but it only makes it worse, and I can't tell them to stop or what I need. I can't even nod my head yes or no. I just freeze, like a scared child.

Does anyone have any coping skills or similar dissociative episodes?
 
Macka

Macka

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
Messages
73
Location
Australia
#2
Ok...wow. That's an unfortunate response you have there, I'm so sorry.

Shutting down as you do is obviously a fight/flight/freeze response from previous trauma. It's an automatic response deeply set in our brains from human evolution. When animals are about to get eaten for instance, they freeze and prepare to die peacefully instead of fighting and squirming. It releases brain chemicals that help to alleviate the pain.

When it used to happen to me, it was as you describe. My psych gave me a book called; 'Waking the Tiger; Healing Trauma' by Peter A Levine. It tells of how we're still ruled by animal instincts. Your behaviour's normal under the circumstances believe it or not.

We've learned to fear this process. If you think about it, I felt like I was dying the times I was traumatised. With my poor nervous system shot to pieces, it's no wonder I shut down when triggered. I was trapped in a moment in time playing over and over again in my psyche.

I know you're worried about people around you; please don't be ok. At the moment, shutting down is your safe place as far as your 'brain' is concerned. (Not a conscious process) While you're in this 'mode', tell yourself it's ok. You've been triggered by something, maybe as simple as one word. Say out loud.. "This too shall pass" (and really believe it as this will convince your brain of your resolve)

It tells your brain the perceived threat is going. Hopefully it'll lessen the time you experience it. You're not only dealing with the trigger, you're dealing with the fear of how long you'll be like that as well as how others are seeing you. Cut these things out of the equation, and you're just coping with shutting down for a while.

Levine's book helped me to understand I'm normal. It also helped me turn things around by using my brain's primitive responses to my advantage. That's our rational brain intervening.

I hope this makes some sense to you. If you're confused or want to ask questions, please let me know.

Kind thoughts;

Macka :flower2:
 
M

Maribii14

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
9
#3
Again, you know exactly what to say! :)

I'm sorry you also have had the same problem, but I'm glad I'm not alone.

It's a scary feeling that I don't have control over my mind and body. It's like I'm a vegetable, trapped in my mind and unable to reach out. I do have childhood trauma, and I had similar episodes as a kid. My teachers and parents thought I had a form of autism because of this behavior (I do not have autism).

I will have to look into that book, it seems like it would be really helpful. I will also keep in mind what you said next time I experience this.

Thank you for your kindness.
 
Macka

Macka

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
Messages
73
Location
Australia
#4
You're so welcome..

Levine's book is heavy going. It's actually a type of handbook for therapists.

If you can't talk out loud during an episode, that's fine. Just think it in your mind.

Good luck with things; you can do eeeeet!!! :goodluck::)

M
 
A

AntipsychoticREFUGEE

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 17, 2018
Messages
107
Location
London, Westmister
#5
It's fine to be on "warp drive" mode? DID-amnesia. I'm trying to approach this from the direction of chemicals because they are the trigger. The cleaner blood the better! Took 14 years to realise that i'm fucking DID! I got it June this year. Also I've tried to correct DID-pronouns right away they come (This/that instead of it) and so on. Also trying to dodge as much as possible futile spats and pecking order mouth-plays because of cortisol.
 
G

Goldie43

Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
9
Location
new Zealand
#7
Hi, I was wondering how people cope when they are dissociating..

When I dissociate, I cannot speak. I sit or lie very still, and silently cry. Its embarrassing... people try to help or get me to talk but it only makes it worse, and I can't tell them to stop or what I need. I can't even nod my head yes or no. I just freeze, like a scared child.

Does anyone have any coping skills or similar dissociative episodes?
Hi there

I do get this. It's generally when I partly dissociate rather than fully. when I fully dissociate i have no memory of what has taken place.

I will automatically partly dissociate if someone in an authoritative role is sharp with me. I automatically default to a child state, conscious but unable to communicate and yes, often crying. The only thing that brings me back is time and someone talking to me as if everything is normal.

I find for me it is the only time I'm actively aware that I'm withdrawing yet cant change the way I react.

You're right, it sucks, its embarrassing and can feel very lonely. We just have to remember there are others out there who are similar.

Hope this helps