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Discussing euthanasia

Gajolene

Gajolene

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May 30, 2012
Messages
7,826
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
Yes I do understand, depression and trauma memories has been with me my whole life Victoria, and I'm 50.

I still very much believe life can turn around for you and you can overcome all of this, just believe in yourself and keep trying, you are young and your illness is going to change and get milder in time. Who knows maybe they will find meds in a unique combination that will work for you yet and help with the depression side of things and eliminate the voices that harm you.

It's exhausting and it's hard work, but it's worth fighting for your health and for something better for your future in this world.
 
V

Viktoria

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Jul 11, 2014
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2,276
But can you imagine depression for thirteen years, where everyday feels worse than the last? It's draining... It never stops.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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Location
small town Ontario, Canada
Yes and I did as well into my mid-twenties and had no idea how to stop it, memories came back in my mid twenties that helped me see the truth of my illness and depression. the true sources and how it all came to be and more importantly that I COULD still change things. At 20 and 21 I never saw it or a way out. I didn't suffer with voices and didn't self harm but always was in constant fear and deep black suicidal depression. I prayed as you do for the end back then. Always in grief and dispair, scared, feeling no one could possibly understand or help every waking moment. But it changed, remembering the truth changed it for me and I fought my way back to hope, and forgiving myself. But that didn't happen till around 25 and up to 28 for me. I know it can change for you no matter how bleak things seem right now. I didn't have any help or mental health services back then to help at all. You have so much help available to you now, if you believe and are willing to fight for health instead of death it can all change.

Super massive hugs Victoria, I believe in you. :hug1:
 
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V

Viktoria

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Thanks Gajolene.

I don't really know what to say right now - just thanks.
 
C

Christobel

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Jun 6, 2014
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Location
South west
Viktoria, I know how you are having a really monumental struggle at the moment, but I can tell you that I am living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel. For fifteen years I struggled with the disorder schizoaffective/depressive type and more than once attempted suicide, two of those times when I was hospitalised. In the end I did find the right medication (Lithium) which worked for me. I'm not going to evangelise about it, because it had some drawbacks, but it certainly helped me when I started taking it five years ago.

Like you, I thought about euthanasia when the struggle felt unbearable, but I am so glad I held To life.
 
V

Viktoria

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Jul 11, 2014
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I've been fighting for thirteen years, with my symptoms getting gradually worse along the course.
Today I spoke to the head of the ward and she said soon they are going to unlock my bathroom again, after they have spoken to my dad to see he's okay with it - accepting the fact that they could find me dead (her words, not mine).
She urged me not to attempt in the garden anymore because it traumatises already ill patients if they find me - it's not fun for staff to find me either, she said, but at least they are trained professionals.
She also said I have the GP's full support in the process up to euthanasia.
 
M

MarlieeB

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I have to admit, I do find it upsetting reading about what she said about the bathroom. I don't mean to sound bad when I ask this but...

When you say about accepting that they could find you dead, did she actually say that or have you mis read what she said?
 
H

Harper

Guest
Hi Viktoria,

The confusion is about you receiving the full support of your GP wrt Euthanasia.

If you are deemed to have full mental capacity to make decisions about your health then why are you in a locked ward, on a section?

Please do not take this as a criticism because it is not meant in this way. But, if someone was fighting for their right to die under the circumstances that you find yourself in - you may feel a little perplexed if a professional was agreeing with that person.

If it was a relative of yours I am sure you would feel a little anxious about this and on other hand if the staff are humouring you and you are colluding with this then I can understand all the complexities involved in this also.

Please keep yourself safe.

xx Harper
 
V

Viktoria

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Joined
Jul 11, 2014
Messages
2,276
I have to admit, I do find it upsetting reading about what she said about the bathroom. I don't mean to sound bad when I ask this but...

When you say about accepting that they could find you dead, did she actually say that or have you mis read what she said?
She actually said that. It does feel like they're giving up on me but I could also interpret it as them taking me very seriously.
 
V

Viktoria

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2014
Messages
2,276
Hi Viktoria,

The confusion is about you receiving the full support of your GP wrt Euthanasia.

If you are deemed to have full mental capacity to make decisions about your health then why are you in a locked ward, on a section?

Please do not take this as a criticism because it is not meant in this way. But, if someone was fighting for their right to die under the circumstances that you find yourself in - you may feel a little perplexed if a professional was agreeing with that person.

If it was a relative of yours I am sure you would feel a little anxious about this and on other hand if the staff are humouring you and you are colluding with this then I can understand all the complexities involved in this also.

Please keep yourself safe.

xx Harper
It's definitely complex. The section could be lifted if I was to agree to stay voluntarily. My experiences so far also mean something. But it's a damn long and hard road, but I do have full support from the team.
 
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