Discharge

V

Viktoria

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#1
I'm soon going to go home again on a CTO. I can't wait. It's gonna take a while though until everything is sorted. I spoke to my psychologist and the head of the ward today after I sent them a lengthy email.
I suspect I'll go home in about a month.
 
Nikita

Nikita

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#2
I am happy for you Viktoria but how come?You are still suicidal and wanting to join Becky aren't you so what are they thinking letting you go home.Will you be safe or will you try and hurt yourself again?
I can't help be afraid for you.
 
V

Viktoria

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#3
I'm trying my best to stay safe. I'm still going ahead with euthanasia. But I've made a three-month plan of giving treatment a go (therapy, ECT, medication) and if I still feel the same after that time I will go ahead with it anyway. But I've told Becky to be patient. She's angry. I'm trying to ignore her as much as possible. I've told her this is my life and these are my choices. Not hers.
 
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Viktoria

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#4
Oh and if I harm myself severely or attempt suicide or anything I'll be readmitted.
 
Nikita

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#5
That makes more sense to me now Viktoria,thanks for that.Are you going to try stay well,stay alive and get on with your life?
 
Nikita

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#6
Oh I just read the post above your last one.You are still going to try for euthanasia.That is sad!
 
Kerome

Kerome

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#7
But I've told Becky to be patient. She's angry. I'm trying to ignore her as much as possible. I've told her this is my life and these are my choices. Not hers.
Well that is something at least. Now you can see how 'she' reacts, and maybe extend that attitude and take back a bit more of your life goals and thinking.

It is sad that you are still thinking about euthanasia, I agree with Nikita. But I hope things go well for you.
 
SoggySlippers

SoggySlippers

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#8
Glad to hear you are getting discharged.That is almost miraculous considering all the things you have done while in there,but I am happy to hear things have really turned around for you.
 
V

Viktoria

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#9
Thank you all. It's kind of double. One moment I have tons of ambitions and things I want to achieve, and the staff says 'you are so talented you should really pursue your dreams' and another moment I just can't get out of bed and everything is too much.

But so I've made a three-month plan. To live at home, attend therapies, take medication, start ECT and not self-harm/attempt suicide (as rules for a CTO) and still go ahead with trying for euthanasia, which could be a long road - possibly a year, and is really hard to get (I knew a man who was in his eighties, was severely ill, couldn't do anything himself - go to the toilet, get dressed, eat, etc. he needed help with everything and only had months to live, he wanted euthanasia and he only just got it, they didn't want to give it, so you can imagine how hard it is for something psychological rather than physical, even though they say that they treat physical/psychological euthanasia requests the same).

I feel okay today. I've been quite active. Maybe the depression is slowly going away a bit - I really hope so.

Becky is furious but I'm trying to tell her - give me three months, and remember this is MY life, not yours, so I decide what I do or don't do.
 
V

Viktoria

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#10
I was allowed to go home with my dad all weekend, but he has to work :low:
 
R

ramboghettouk

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#11
i have serious doubts about the ethics of euthonasia, maybe it was been stuck in that bin that makes you feel that way, america robert heinlein the far right american science fiction author has a story where in every room theres a switch you can pull and get a lethal shock, guess it goes with american freedom of the individual
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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#12
I've told her this is my life and these are my choices. Not hers.
:clap::hug::hug:

I am so so proud of you right now and so happy with you for standing up to Becky and taking back control. What a huge step. You are right it is your life and not hers. You deserve some happiness and time with your family here. I really hope you can keep going on this positive path. I hope to that with treatment and the ECT you may change your mind about the Euthanasia. Life is worth fighting for Victoria, keep us updated.
 
V

Viktoria

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#13
Thanks Gajolene

Because my dad had to work all weekend I was allowed to go away with him today so we're having a drink in the city now and I'm gonna cook for him later. Nice surprise that I was allowed to skip therapy to go away with him!
 
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Viktoria

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#15
Oops someone called the emergency number twenty times yesterday because staff wouldn't listen to her physical health. She might have to pay for the ambulance that came (although they didn't see her) and it could cost more than €1000