• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Disbelief....?

T

The Lone Dragon

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2014
Messages
28
I find it very difficult to believe; in almost every sense of the word... I am highly confused, I don't always trust what the doctors/psychiatrist/CPN say, I don't know what to believe, it is all too much; I don't even have faith in my so-called 'senses'.

I question too much, I beg to differ too much, and often I take the contrary view; it is not that I mean to, I just do it.

Am I just some kind of f****d up individual, who lacks ability to see in anothers view, and disregards social and (often) political, supposed 'correct' convention; am I just unable to empathise?

Perhaps this is why I came here; to learn more, to understand more; not just about others, but myself, too.

I feel accepted here, but perhaps this is a lie? I cannot even see this is true...

What is wrong with me? Well many have a different view, ranging from (the usual) "oh look at him, I would stay away from him, he is just weird", right up to the supposed 'truthful' psychiatric diagnosis.

I am not sure I believe any of it, I mean I don't even believe what comes from my thoughts, or anyone else says. And I don't know why, I just seem to have taken this odd view on life; when really I should just stop it, but can I? I don't know, I haven't even the belief to try.

It is odd; I seem to live in this mixed up world, when everything has been inverted, tossed around and gone through a metaphorical washing machine. I once pronounced I had just 'given up' and oddly these were some of my happiest times, but most suicidal.

Yet now? I just don't know...

Or perhaps I have answered my own question?

TLD
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Sorry you're going through a crappy time. I know how difficult it can be when you can't trust anything or anyone, even yourself. Have you felt this way for a long time, or is it a more recent turn of view?

Maybe pronouncing you had 'given up' just brought a release; a thought that you weren't going to fight the confusion or bother to try to work it out anymore, as opposed to anything more drastic?

After that, all I really wanted to say was: You are accepted here. :hug1:
 
radicaldreamer12

radicaldreamer12

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2015
Messages
2
I know the primary response of most here would be to comfort you and tell you that you're wrong in thinking that you're a f'ed up individual, but I say F*** it. Be who you are. So what if you're reality differs from others or your political beliefs aren't conventional. I just arrived at this website, registered, and clicked on a random thread (This one) and I'm hoping most threads are like this one. Hah. I like you.
 
T

The Lone Dragon

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2014
Messages
28
Thanks Purple Chaos, it is nice to know that you think I am accepted here.

Regarding trust, it has been pretty on and off for quite a while now, around two and a half years or so. I think it may have been since a while after I came off fluoxetine. I mean, I was only on it for a week, but still, it was around two or three months after then (when on aripiprazole and olanzipine - not sure on spellings?), when I started having serious lack of trust in things around me; but it has been a little on and off.

And I think you may be right about when I talked of giving up; it was as though I no longer had to care anymore, and a break from my normal life.

radicaldreamer12,

May I thank you for your response. When referring to political views, I mean the way they have effectively implemented a dark area within our basic human rights; ie freedom of speech, and the vote. My political view in the sense of basic politics, are pretty normal, as they go, but I don't like the way that social conventions follow this rule of supposed 'freedom of speech' and I often don't understand why the truth or a way of acting should be so frowned upon by society, when there are already so many other (more important) aspects of life, and issues to be delt with.

People are allowed to say what they want, they tell us, but if they say the 'wrong' things, then it is heavily frowned upon, and often not allowed.

There are some things, that would be best left unsaid, but there are many things that are constrained by this generic view of the masses, and are hence left alone.

TLD
 
T

The Lone Dragon

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2014
Messages
28
I am feeling a little calmer in the head now; I think it must have been the snow, I always feel better when it snows.
 
coldwater00

coldwater00

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
3,372
Location
Yorkshire
I find it very difficult to believe; in almost every sense of the word... I am highly confused, I don't always trust what the doctors/psychiatrist/CPN say, I don't know what to believe, it is all too much; I don't even have faith in my so-called 'senses'.

I question too much, I beg to differ too much, and often I take the contrary view; it is not that I mean to, I just do it.

Am I just some kind of f****d up individual, who lacks ability to see in anothers view, and disregards social and (often) political, supposed 'correct' convention; am I just unable to empathise?

Perhaps this is why I came here; to learn more, to understand more; not just about others, but myself, too.

I feel accepted here, but perhaps this is a lie? I cannot even see this is true...

What is wrong with me? Well many have a different view, ranging from (the usual) "oh look at him, I would stay away from him, he is just weird", right up to the supposed 'truthful' psychiatric diagnosis.

I am not sure I believe any of it, I mean I don't even believe what comes from my thoughts, or anyone else says. And I don't know why, I just seem to have taken this odd view on life; when really I should just stop it, but can I? I don't know, I haven't even the belief to try.

It is odd; I seem to live in this mixed up world, when everything has been inverted, tossed around and gone through a metaphorical washing machine. I once pronounced I had just 'given up' and oddly these were some of my happiest times, but most suicidal.

Yet now? I just don't know...

Or perhaps I have answered my own question?

TLD
There are theories that "psychotic" people fall onto the same spectrum as those who would typically be diagnosed with an Autistic spectrum disorder. By this I mean the characteristics of the two are often the same - Flat affect, apparent lack of empathy and emotion, inappropriate emotional responses, social withdrawal, self neglect, depression, apathy, lack of social interaction. Makes me wonder how many people are misdiagnosed simply because their ways of communicating and understanding the world are not appreciated/tolerated.
 
T

The Lone Dragon

Active member
Joined
Nov 15, 2014
Messages
28
Yes, I've heard that too....

And I would quite agree. I often wonder why the world has such an odd view of mental illness, when I think a lot of it is simple playings of misunderstandings and out of proportion ideas and blown out of view ideals.

One quote I think rings true especially in circumstances like what you mention is that 'people are afraid of what they don't understand'.

And I think this must be true, at least with most people anyway, for example imagine taking a medieval person to the present day and showing them, say, a radio, and imagine their fear when hearing a voice with no body. They might even proclaim it to be magic, or even work of the devil. At least, that is what one can expect them to do.

Yet such words said by a modern day man could be proclaimed by the supposedly 'in-the-know' as madness?

You make me wonder how much of this is really true, and how little is fake.

I started this thread to answer some fundamental yet vague questions, and I got even more questions as a response.

But this is what is sometimes needed, I think....

And this is why I like things like physics, and how I think such things have been portrayed wonderfully by Douglas Adams' 'The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy', where (as I am sure you'll be aware) '42 is the meaning of life. But what is the question?'

Whenever you reach an answer, you get more questions. The greater our understanding, the more limited it is and the more we understand how little we know. And isn't this just fantastic?

So much out there to be discovered, so much out there to learn.

I started this thread to gain some confidence in believing. But I came away understanding that believing isn't everything, but the truth is...

Wow, this thread has made me feel better....!

Thanks coldwater00!

Cheers,

TLD
 
Top