Disappointed

[crs]

Disappointed to find myself in the grip of depression again after having kidded myself for years that I had "grown out it" or successfully adopted strategies to avoid it. My late teens and early twenties were a travesty of low self-esteem, loneliness, depression, substance abuse and self-harm and I have fears of slipping into the same hell in middle age.

This is my first post to this forum BTW...

 

[greenstar]

Hi crs

You sound in a similar situation to me. I felt like I'd got myself together in recent years and become confident and positive and optimistic, after having episodes of depression, low self esteem etc years ago. Felt like that was behind me. But now I find myself back down again.

I hope you'll be able to get back to your strong self again soon. Has this current low been building up for a while or something more sudden?

It's hard to feel like you've been kidding yourself you were able to avoid it. But it may be that the strategies you (and I, and other people here) developed have helped us avoid other episodes. Maybe it'll just be the very occasional one that creeps up and gets us, because we are more resistant these days, even if there are some times we don't feel it.

 

[DELATEXT]

Been there too

Hi, been there , and as well, i try to plan everything to cope, i hope you can talk to your medical support about all this.
The crap feelings, low self esteem are very very difficult to deal with ??
I wish you well and hope you can get help etc

 

[crs]

Hi crs

You sound in a similar situation to me. I felt like I'd got myself together in recent years and become confident and positive and optimistic, after having episodes of depression, low self esteem etc years ago. Felt like that was behind me. But now I find myself back down again.

I hope you'll be able to get back to your strong self again soon. Has this current low been building up for a while or something more sudden?

It's hard to feel like you've been kidding yourself you were able to avoid it. But it may be that the strategies you (and I, and other people here) developed have helped us avoid other episodes. Maybe it'll just be the very occasional one that creeps up and gets us, because we are more resistant these days, even if there are some times we don't feel it.

I thought that I had developed strategies and the maturity to cope with life but recent events have proved me wrong. With hindsight I can see I haven't been really happy or in control for some time.

I have gone to a GP looking for support with depression for the first time in over 20 years and must confess that the services available seem much improved. I am in the middle of some CBT therapy which I am hoping will be a useful addition to the coping strategies I have developed myself over the years.

Early days but I am pleased to have at least got to the point of feeling simply "flat" most of the time rather than feeling overwhelmed by pain continuously as I was a few weeks ago.

 

[crs]

Hi, been there , and as well, i try to plan everything to cope, i hope you can talk to your medical support about all this.
The crap feelings, low self esteem are very very difficult to deal with ??
I wish you well and hope you can get help etc

I felt forced into trying medical help again as I was so desperate! My past experience of it, over twenty years ago, wasn't encouraging. I can clearly remember nasty, sarcastic comments as I was having a deep, self-inflicted wound to my wrist stitched up by a GP in the practice.

I also had crap psychotherapy with a therapist I couldn't talk to.

Still, as I have stated above, depression seems to be treated more sympathetically these days.

Thanks for your support.

 

[DELATEXT]

crap psychotherapy

I've had this to and it upsets and makes you angry !!
I hope you get better help now ??
Wishing you well and on going support !!