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Disabled and way too fking ugly.

C

Chamaeleon

Guest
I'm stick thin, my head is a weird shape, my nose is bent to the right, my cheek bones stick out... and I'm in constant fear whenever I go out because Scotland is a dangerous place to live for someone like me, especially near my area...

Harassment if you're a disabled person - Shelter Scotland

•name calling
•offensive remarks and jokes
•inappropriate references to your disability
•rude or unpleasantly patronising treatment
•unwelcome physical contact
•vandalism of your property
•bullying, intimidation and threats
•physical abuse or violence.


I was at the Citizens Advice in another town a couple of days ago there and it didn't take too long for the intimidation to start... first young guy to walk past... and so I said to myself "f it this is crazy I need to get home" and headed home on the next bus. I forgot to take my dads camera with me. I really need to start documenting what my life is like whenever I go out "at the wrong times" and show people...

I'm too scared to go outside.

I don't get why the NHS of all organizations is treating me like crap though.
 
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I

im so lost

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Fuck those ****s they can go fuck themselves your beautiful to me and you not disabled their fucking disabled to me
 
C

Chamaeleon

Guest
Thanks but not I'm not angry. I'm utterly paranoid whenever I'm outside though. Lots of tension... A nervous wreck... Just a mere 10 years ago I could have gone outside and felt relatively safe.

And no overly sympathetic treatment from NHS staff etc anymore either. Health professionals etc used to be overly sympathetic towards me and I used to be sent (offered) to these special needs facilities along with other people with special needs. I used to go to special needs programmes, I once had gone to such a place in Dalmellington.

These sort of groups but up here in Scotland...

These days I have to pretend that I'm a youtube star or something just to get a call back.

http://www.mencap.org.uk/
 
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I

im so lost

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I know how you feel I am a nervous paranoid wreck when im outside most of the time
infact I am also a bit like this even when im inside on my own half of the time and I hate being this way

Im furious with what humanity has done to me you and others but Im also furious at myself because I do sortof deserve it for how I have treated my family ;'(
 
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Chamaeleon

Guest
I wouldn't mind the NHS offering such a programme again just to get me out the door for a change, but it's even a struggle just getting so much as a pill from them for my anxiety & depression. I would feel less depressed and get back to drawing.
 
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I

im so lost

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I wouldn't mind the NHS offering such a programme again just to get me out the door for a change, but it's even a struggle just getting so much as a pill from them for my anxiety & depression. I would feel less depressed and get back to drawing.
Why is it so hard to get meds?
 
I

im so lost

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I cant get anything from my doctor thanks to me being an idiot a while back and tellinghi.m about my recreational drug useage lol never tell them about your rec drug usage its a very sipid mistake
but im sure the psycbiatrist when I get to see one which is taking the piss waiting so long lolif I was anyone else I would have killed myself by now but no I couldnt do that to my family so im stuck lol
but as I was saying im sure I will be able to easily get meds from my psychiatrist as long as he believes me about my problems and doesnt think that im just trying to get high because of my recrwational drug usage whih if he does I may end up puIlimg out some heroin and shoving it down his throat if I can get hold of any lol never had any although I would love to try some (im wreckless so I risk allsorts of stupid things dont blame me :D )
 
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Chamaeleon

Guest
Why is it so hard to get meds?
I regret mentioning getting bullied/mocked etc, they don't seem to like you (these days maybe?) when you include that as one of your reasons for feeling depressed. If they don't, then they have a weird way of showing it...
 
I

im so lost

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I would tell him what it is as well if i did lol but I wouldnt really even thoug my anger would make me desperate to I can control myself very well :)
 
I

im so lost

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I regret mentioning getting bullied/mocked etc, they don't seem to like you (these days maybe?) when you include that as one of your reasons for feeling depressed.
This is stramge but I definately believe you as people are so fucked up in this world I just dont understand them in a way
 
C

Chamaeleon

Guest
This is stramge but I definately believe you as people are so fucked up in this world I just dont understand them in a way
That woman and her friend MP will put a stop to this discrimination -- towards me at least anyway. I would advise others to do the same. Told the woman it's going on 10 months without so much as a pill being offered to me, they want to help and asked me to join them in a meeting. Not long now, 2 weeks... They can enjoy their discriminating for now while it lasts but it'll be coming to a screeching halt shortly... I will have the last laugh because they will have to treat me despite totally hating me. They forced me to get in touch with an MP.

It's not just about me, I have high moral values and just believe in equality. High moral values because of my upbringing.
 
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