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Difficulty expressing negative emotions

Q

quietsecret

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2015
Messages
23
I feel like my insides don't match my outside. I can't seem to find it within myself to express when I'm feeling stressed or sad or any kind of negative emotion on my face like I'm wearing a blank mask all the time. A huge part is never wanting to be a burden because I'm so terrified to be thrown away and that if I'm no trouble maybe I won't. And I get jealous/ angry ( of course I can't seem to express this either but my mind is going crazy with thoughts) when people show concern for others who express negative emotions over minor things. It makes me feel so insignificant and worthless like I'm not worth concern as much as someone else. Then I feel bad because it sounds like I'm trivialising others feelings and the only way I can deal with this is punishing my body.
 
SarahD

SarahD

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
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2,095
Location
UK
Hello quietsecret,

I am sorry to hear you are struggling like this. I do understand to some extent. I am not very good at asking for help when I need it and often try to hide how bad I am feeling.

The trouble is, if no one knows you are suffering, they can't show they care, even if they do.

Since you have been able to write something of what you experience, do you think maybe you could talk to someone you don't know? Maybe a therapist could help? Or you could contact one of the mental health charities, some have helplines.

It could be worth talking to your GP about therapy. Keep posting. You can always talk on here.

Sarah
 
katya

katya

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Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
I feel like my insides don't match my outside. I can't seem to find it within myself to express when I'm feeling stressed or sad or any kind of negative emotion on my face like I'm wearing a blank mask all the time. A huge part is never wanting to be a burden because I'm so terrified to be thrown away and that if I'm no trouble maybe I won't. And I get jealous/ angry ( of course I can't seem to express this either but my mind is going crazy with thoughts) when people show concern for others who express negative emotions over minor things. It makes me feel so insignificant and worthless like I'm not worth concern as much as someone else. Then I feel bad because it sounds like I'm trivialising others feelings and the only way I can deal with this is punishing my body.
These things can build up and make you feel more anxious. I have found this in the past too, and for me, it was because I learned to demonise negative emotions from a young age - my father had serious anger issues, so I guess I associated anger and stress with being horrible to people. I didn't want to be angry, because that would make me a bad person. But it's just not the case; anger and stress are healthy emotions, and you must learn to feel them without fear and without stifling your feelings. Holding them in can lead to anxiety and depression because you're not fully expressing or asserting yourself.

Have you tried any mindfulness techniques?
 
Q

quietsecret

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2015
Messages
23
Thank you Sarah. I'm trying to get up the courage to go see someone about it. It's that I've always kept everything to myself so it's hard to change suddenly. My head that tells me horrible things about myself don't make it easier either. Thank you
 
Q

quietsecret

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2015
Messages
23
Thank you jruth. I do try to be more mindful sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I almost feel as if this is how overly botoxed people would feel. Feeling all these things inside but unable to mould the outside to express it. I also feel like a baby when I look at angry people to try and see how angry people act. Depression is more prevalent though so I just think I'm too tired to learn how to express anger and I just want to fade in the background and have no one ever look at me.
 
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