S
scaredheart
New member
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2009
- Messages
- 3
I'm wondering if I can get your view on this as it is eating me up, and I really need to resolve it. WIll try and be as brief as possible...
Been seeing my t for over a year. He (and I) thinks I have BPD but wont give me definitive diagnosis. Anyway, we had a break at the beginning of this year, and I didn't see him for a few months (my decision). I have major trust issues, and up until that point he was brilliant. I find it difficult to talk to him so I would write things down and take them to session, and he would always talk them through with me, giving me constant reassurance. He is the only person that has eve understood me. He told me it was ok to email him between session, whic I did occassionally if things were getting on top of me. He would email me back with a really thought-through answer and was very attentive and sensitive to how I was feeling. I could bring up difficulties I was feeling with him (i.e. that I thought he didnt like me-which was and is, a constant feeling/thought, etc), and he would attend to that feeling. He was always very warm and suportive of whatever I was going through.
I started seeing him regularly (weekly) again a couple of months ago, and things have changed. I feel that he has become more cold and hard towards me. I have always thought that he is looking for an excuse to dicharge me, and we have spoken about this many many times, and he has been very understanding. But when I have brought this up recently he has become frustrated with me. He has told me that he feels frustrated that I can't tell him everything he needs to know for me to move on, and that really makes things worse for me. We have also talked about this. I feel that he is losing patience with me, and that he really doesnt like me. I have no idea why he still wants me to come back every week.
So, what i want to know is where do I go from here. I have been through so much with him that I will find it nearly impossible start again with someone else, but at the same time I feel that he has changed towards me and that I am not getting what I used to get form him in terms of attentiveness and understaning. GIven that I have real interpersonal issues, and what he knows about my personality probloems, I thought he would be more empathetic. DOes anyone have any advice/have you been through something similar before??


Sorry its so long!
Been seeing my t for over a year. He (and I) thinks I have BPD but wont give me definitive diagnosis. Anyway, we had a break at the beginning of this year, and I didn't see him for a few months (my decision). I have major trust issues, and up until that point he was brilliant. I find it difficult to talk to him so I would write things down and take them to session, and he would always talk them through with me, giving me constant reassurance. He is the only person that has eve understood me. He told me it was ok to email him between session, whic I did occassionally if things were getting on top of me. He would email me back with a really thought-through answer and was very attentive and sensitive to how I was feeling. I could bring up difficulties I was feeling with him (i.e. that I thought he didnt like me-which was and is, a constant feeling/thought, etc), and he would attend to that feeling. He was always very warm and suportive of whatever I was going through.
I started seeing him regularly (weekly) again a couple of months ago, and things have changed. I feel that he has become more cold and hard towards me. I have always thought that he is looking for an excuse to dicharge me, and we have spoken about this many many times, and he has been very understanding. But when I have brought this up recently he has become frustrated with me. He has told me that he feels frustrated that I can't tell him everything he needs to know for me to move on, and that really makes things worse for me. We have also talked about this. I feel that he is losing patience with me, and that he really doesnt like me. I have no idea why he still wants me to come back every week.
So, what i want to know is where do I go from here. I have been through so much with him that I will find it nearly impossible start again with someone else, but at the same time I feel that he has changed towards me and that I am not getting what I used to get form him in terms of attentiveness and understaning. GIven that I have real interpersonal issues, and what he knows about my personality probloems, I thought he would be more empathetic. DOes anyone have any advice/have you been through something similar before??



Sorry its so long!