Did your mother slap you in the face when you were growing up?

tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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#1
Mine did so rather routinely. I had mostly suppressed it.
My childhood memories are very sketchy...but this seemed to be a thing.
She is dying now.
But as the realization of the way she used to slap me like that, I am ready to resign from comforting her.

My parents weren't there for me when my son died and I was all alone.
What goes around, comes around.
 
Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

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#2
My dad used to slap me, or kick out, whatever was closest, when he was angry he lashed out. But not around the face. I think a slap in the face feels far more shocking, I'm sorry to hear your mum did it routinely. I know they say if that's how they were brought up its how they learned to be a parent, but that's rubbish. As an adult you can recognise that your behaviour is repeating something negative and work on changing it.
It's sad they weren't there for you when your son died, you are a strong woman tilta XX
 
Fairy Lucretia

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#3
my dad slapped me everywhere including the face x

you have to put yourself first and do what is right for you

im sorry you were treated badly ,you didn't deserve it
love Lu x
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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#4
my mum slapped me round the face a few times and on the arm, she had to stop because social services found out
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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#5
thank you so much! I am so sorry for dredging up such painful things. Of course, this isn't just about face slapping but it seems to be a sticking point for me.

Your perspective helps me a very great deal, more than you know.

I know for sure now, it is not a type of discipline...it is abuse.
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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#6
its sad that a lot of people and cultures don't know the line between discipline and abuse, seen a lot of conversations about it especially on facebook, some perspectives are extremely disturbing
 
Tired Daisy

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#7
Tbh I think kids of today need some discipline and parents should be allowed to hit there kids I mean not beat them half to death but give them a slap / a good hiding when they are being naughty. Kids today are out of control.

Bring back the cane and slipper for schools as well.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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#8
I was a very well behaved and obedient child. Never even sassed a parent, teacher etc. I was always trying to please.

There is no excuse whatsoever for slapping my face ever.

Patton's reputation was ruined with "the slap that was heard around the world"

One time my teenage daughter called me a bitch and I popped her in the mouth. One and only one time.
 
nkirkas

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#9
Soo my father used to abuse my mother and me by hitting us,my mother also was going out many nights and i was alone at home as a child till late at night,crying,i was having many nightmares as a child and phobias came to me at first with bad people and then with spirits..I changed the page in the book even though i didn't tear it..What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and then depression hit me..worst thing in the world..Now im really struggling with life

The best approach for me was to fight it myself,a psychologist also is a good thing but consider it as an additive to your fight not the key..
 
G

Glitter Bellied Chihuahua

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#10
Yes. My father slapped me all the time. He would grab my ear with one hand and slap me back and forth across the face with his other hand.

I still get a strong physical reaction when I think about it. I'm in my 40s now.


And my parents wonder why I don't like them.:scratcheshead:
 
valleygirl

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#11
I cannot imagine how hard it must be to care for an aging parent who has been abusive to you. You are right that what goes around comes around. If parents want their children to look after them during their old age they damn well better treat their children well.
 
E

elanka

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#12
My mom had been physically abused by her mom when she was a child so she had this rule she took great pride in. She never ever hit her children. And she didn't.

In her head the rule didn't unfortunately include throwing kids with things, dragging us by the hair or throwing me out of the house in the middle of the winter. But, she didn't hit us so there were no marks. :rolleyes: Also, she did nothing if grandma slapped us.

I noticed already as a child that every time mom would abuse me (or abandon me) a small part of my attachment to her died. In time it died completely, I have no feelings for her anymore. She also hasn't been there for my hard life changes, and I have no need to be there for her. So, I can relate in that sense. Thinking about it, why should we even be expected to take care of our abusers with empathy?
 

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