Did you cope with Christmas?

[Prince Buster]

I have not been that fond of it the last few years and things are not so good at this time of year in my family.

My mum's father and brother both died close to Christmas and she always feels low at this time of year (she is bi-polar) and then my uncle left my aunt on Boxing day three years ago so the last couple have been dreadful.

Last year I pretty much opted out of it by working the whole lot but found I just spent a lot of time at home on myself so this year decided as I had time I would try and have a proper Christmas.

I ended up at my parents from the 22nd and was looking forward to it having bought nice gifts for everybody that I thought they would appreciate.

By Christmas Eve I was in a shocking state and spent the day in bed crying. I had nothing to do on the night and got very low seeing everybody out having fun as I took my sister to her boyfriend's house.

The actual day was OK although I found myself with little to do and got even more upset when my mum asked if being with her made me depressed.

I could not sleep very well last night and have been up since before 6am today - very unusual for me.

When I got home tonight (I had to leave earlier than I had intended to as I just needed to be home) I discovered a letter from work telling me my sick pay stops next week.

Sometimes I just feel like the whole world is ganging up on me. Apologies for the rambling nature of this post but I just needed to get it out. And I have had half a glass of wine.

 

[JETBOY]

i know what you feel

yes my freind life picks us out and deal us cards ,held by the devil ,,im sorry for all your pain and it is a lot ,but your not alone if it IS any consolation
my wife has ms ,and if that werent bad enough she has now been given chronic lung deisese,by LIFE .i always wanted to be cured and feel the emotions i lost many many years ago ,,but its not to be ,,i must forget myself now ,and give my life to my dear wife ,,,youve come this far my freind ,and you must be strong and carry on with your journey ,i to had my ssp stopped and was forced to return to work ,were people i work with snigger and show no understanding of how i feel ,,but i do know how you feel ,,and i will share your pain so that it may become a little easier to bear ,,stop and look behind you ,,,see how far you have come ,,,lets walk together along this road ,i have travelled it for 43 years ,since being a young boy of seven ,,come walk
with me i will protect you ,i have no fear ive fought the dark one many times
if it should come you go forward ,it does not have the power to pass by me
you will be safe ,,,,,best wishes JETBOY

 

[Prince Buster]

Times sound tough Jetboy. Thanks for your wise words and the best of luck to you and your loved ones.

 

[Prince Buster]

Still feeling like total shit - in fact probably worse than I was a couple of days ago.

I have lots of physical syptoms like the tight jaw and bad pins and needles and I feel nauseous tonight. Worst of all I am feeling totally hopeless at the minute, scared about the future and also having suicidal thoughts tonight.

A friend sent me a message today about something I had said to her about a week ago. "I know you are in a bad place but..."

I am worried she is not wanting to talk to me again and want to say just how bad I am but fear she will accuse me of attention seeking. If only that was all it was.

 

[Prince Buster]

A little over four hours sleeps last night. This keeps happening. Not good.

 

[SmileyGirl]

I'm sure that person would never ever think you are attention seeking, you are a lovely kind person and have been so helpful with other peoples 'hard times'.
If you need to speak, then please do, either on here or to your friend by text or ring them. We all need a friendly voice now and again who understands.

X X

 

[Prince Buster]

I put out the bridges to her, but we have a lot of past and maybe it is just better to move on. I would say burning the bridges but the pun is too bad for words.