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Did not know it was so easy to make people hate you

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BpTyrant

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Sep 8, 2017
Messages
288
So for one of my hobbies I buy, collect, and sometimes sell, or trade, trading cards (not one of the 3 biggest Trading card games)

Of course when I choose to interact directly with people instead of buying everything from a company as Sealed Product; then I have to talk with them

Sometimes; I guess due to not being 100% stable (meaning in the middle and neither Depressed or Manic) i will say or do wrong things that make people hate me; even to the point that some people apparently refuse to deal with me.

Of course you try to not care and move on; you cant please everybody after all.

But then you also think who is going to follow them?

What if because of 1 person you also alienate another 11? After all 1 person can tell others not to do business with you, and then they can tell their friends, so it multiplies.

Do I just move on, accept those losses, and just try to win other people?
 
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RoseGoldBoi

Guest
I think that's called catastrophic snowball effect mind set. Unless you murdered someone, people don't consecutively start hating you like a dominoe effect just because you were awkward with 1 person. People don't work that way but its an easy rabbit hole to fall into when all the 'what if's" start to pile up and it becomes too much. Most of the time everyone is in their own world, everyone has a turn getting under someone' skin and they, theirs.
 
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BpTyrant

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Messages
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I think that's called catastrophic snowball effect mind set. Unless you murdered someone, people don't consecutively start hating you like a dominoe effect just because you were awkward with 1 person. People don't work that way but its an easy rabbit hole to fall into when all the 'what if's" start to pile up and it becomes too much. Most of the time everyone is in their own world, everyone has a turn getting under someone' skin and they, theirs.
Maybe they dont literally multiply, but they can still negatively effect you just because if someone asks that person what they think of you; it's not gonna be a positive recommendation.

I feel like I am slowly getting things to go the right way; but I always have to think in multiple ways

I think of how things could possibly go sometimes multiple ways at once, like what is the worst thing that can happen? Also what is the best thing that can happen? What do I actually think is gonna happen

And I imagine this person therefore being asked by someone else (maybe not directly, but more like "hey what do you think of Mr. Smith" being asked to the community)

So then people come forward and discuss if they perceive me to be a bad guy, if they perceive me as a good guy? What kind of experience have my "customers" (when you sell something you are the seller and the buyer is the "customer" ) had.

They cant say I ripped anybody off because I havent, but some people may say things that help to hold me back
 
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BpTyrant

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Sep 8, 2017
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Yeah I suppose, but sometimes I just mess up socially

Next thing you know I'm wondering why it seems I'm having such a hard time selling things as sometimes I have a lot of stuff I'm trying to sell

And then I figured out why I'm having such a hard time, apparently in an interaction with several people (one at a time) I have said the wrong thing

Now they think I am a bad guy and they dont wanna do business with me, and who knows how many of their friends they told to avoid me like the plague.

I know it's not likely to snowball like I expect, but it's still so hard for me

I am not trying to be unreasonable or come across as a jerk; it just happens sometimes

I'm not trying to avoid responsibility by saying it wasnt me, because it was me;

But it's just so frustrating; you try to say all the right things and do all the right things; but every setback however minor it is is still a setback; and all it takes is to make 1 mistake; just one and that's it

It feels like I am failing and I am the one to blame because I am the one that said or did the wrong thing; even if it was only because of my Bipolar acting up and taking me on a wild ride.
 
Shingle

Shingle

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Ignore it all. If someone confronts you, apologise and move on. Going ahead, try not to piss anyone off. If you do all of those things, continuing to do better and be better, ignoring those who possibly hate many people, ignoring the gossips, being yourself and appreciating those who do like you, you will be fine.

I have pissed people off in the past and i did things wrong. They did things wrong too though. Once bridges are burned, sometimes there is no mending them. Some people do want to mend bridges, some don't. Just accept that. Forgive yourself for not being perfect and move on. Try to be more perfect.
 
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BpTyrant

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Joined
Sep 8, 2017
Messages
288
Ignore it all. If someone confronts you, apologise and move on. Going ahead, try not to piss anyone off. If you do all of those things, continuing to do better and be better, ignoring those who possibly hate many people, ignoring the gossips, being yourself and appreciating those who do like you, you will be fine.

I have pissed people off in the past and i did things wrong. They did things wrong too though. Once bridges are burned, sometimes there is no mending them. Some people do want to mend bridges, some don't. Just accept that. Forgive yourself for not being perfect and move on. Try to be more perfect.
It's not so much being confronted, its just knowing I messed up and not fully knowing how badly I messed up

I easy to imagine the worse; but either way it's hard knowing that I really came across that bad that it doesn't matter if I have something people want to buy

If I had interacted with them once and made a mistake that is at least one person I have lost, and potentially several.

Every mess up feels like a step backwards; while it seems hard to win over people; and harder to get people to come back (as it's a hobby I have been into for a couple years, and I'm not planning to get out of it for a while still)

I have had people be super happy after they recieved what they bought from me; they say I have exceeded their expectations (that part is easy because i have done a lot of transactions on Ebay and most people are pretty reasonable, but theres some that are not and try to abuse eBay to basically steal stuff from you), but so far I haven't seemed to get to a spot where things are becoming easier.

It's just putting forward the effort and trying to win over as many people as I can; in hopes that I am actually moving forward; even if it is slowly I just hope one day I have a breakthrough.

I avoid selling on eBay too much because of fees and the people that are out to scam somebody.
 
Shingle

Shingle

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There are people who complain about everything, are never happy and in a bad mood. Some people don't realise what they are truly ordering because they don't read your description properly and that can be a reason they get angry with you. As long as you know you are being honest, that is all you can do. Is this a small business you want to build? You cannot please everyone. Ebay is so stressful.
 
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BpTyrant

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Joined
Sep 8, 2017
Messages
288
There are people who complain about everything, are never happy and in a bad mood. Some people don't realise what they are truly ordering because they don't read your description properly and that can be a reason they get angry with you. As long as you know you are being honest, that is all you can do. Is this a small business you want to build? You cannot please everyone. Ebay is so stressful.
It started as a hobby, it could become more like a business

But idk if I will be able to expand that much

Pretty much I try to collect 1 copy of all the cards being released for this card game, I will buy a certain amount of sealed packs

Open the packs up, keep my copy of everything and try to sell the extras

So far it's not about profit, it's about trying to minimize losses and reinvest whatever money I get back out of sales into purchasing new card releases down the line

Cards I dont get out of booster packs due to low pull rate and not buying enough packs to get one out of a booster pack; I try to buy later (if possible)

for example if a card is 1 in 288 packs rarity and I only buy 96 packs I theoretically have 1/3 chance, if I dont pull it I hope to sell the cards I dont need as a collector and hopefully that money can buy me that really rare card.

And some cards are not simply sold, people have to get them in events (that I dont usually have time for, I am a working man and I would have to spend hours in traveling) and then they sell them to players and collectors.

It used to be easier; I could just buy as much as I wanted and could afford online at cheap prices, I would get some good pulls, sell unnecessary stuff and sometimes get a significant portion of my money back.

Unfortunately the company making the cards messed things up with the last set, theres very little sealed packs available at reasonable prices because the supply is stupid low at any given time, and demand is high simply because everyone wants to pull a high rarity card that has set a record for highest price ever for a card of its Rarity so early into the life of a set

Essentially if this were at any point in the past this card that is around $300 would of been $60

And having as much competition in the community as there is when trying to sell the cards reputation is a huge thing; when you are basically unknown you have to prove yourself

Until you are proven to be a stand up guy anybody would gladly do business with things are hard because some people are always gonna go with a well Established seller that they have known for years and has made 1000s, even 10,000+ transactions

rather than John Doe that has quietly been around for 2 years, has made a couple dozen transactions, and people still dont know so they dont trust.

I do most of my "business" with these cards on a FaceBook group because I can avoid the 10% eBay fees and sell at cheaper prices; which in turn should be easy, but it's not easy and if I interact with someone and say or do the wrong thing I am in turn making things harder for me

I also simply dont trust eBay to be impartial and fair and to protect me against abusive "buyers" who either want something for free; or want to buy something, play with it, break it; and then get a refund because it arrived "broken" (which has happened before)
 
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BpTyrant

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Sep 8, 2017
Messages
288
Well I feel like I am bouncing back a bit, made some sales, got a little extra money

Almost bought a card I am missing from my collection because of rarity and high price

Almost got taken and ended up reporting the person for being fishy, I mean why else refuse to take payment that would protect the buyer if you arent a seller trying to scam the buyer?
 
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