Did i do the right thing? About dropping my friend and Boyfriend?

R

rollingthunder05

Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2015
Messages
7
I had a best friend, at the time it was for 7 years. And we were really close, however when i told her about my depression she told me that i should get over it. When she said those words to me it really crushed me. I was very shocked about her reply. Well fast forward a few weeks, I started dating this guy, I really liked him. I didn't want my depression to get in the way of me pursuing him, I never had that type of motivation before. We started dating, but i could see that he and my best friend was getting a little to close for comfort. The first time i confronted her about it i told her that i would like for her to back off. She told me that i was being possessive. And they continued taking. I was very vulnerable, because of my depression i wasn't able to express my real self. And i admit like i admitted to them both when i confronted them. That i was jealous. I don't mind admitting that. But in the end i broke up with him. He told me there was no reason for me to be jealous. And that he was sorry and what not. We got back together soon after that, but that when i really felt worthless to him.

My depression got really bad. I would cry every night.. I was becoming very suicidal. I didn't love myself at all. They still were being too close for comfort. No matter how many times i told her how i didn't like it. She ignored my feelings. And then i just stopped talking to her all together. I wasn't jealous this time. I was hurt. Really hurt. so that's why i stopped talking to her She told me that i was being childish.. and i told her that i didn’t trust her anymore... a few months after that i broke up with him again. My depression was making me very ill (physically if you didn't understand?..), since all i could think about is how worthless i was to him. Every time he said he cared i felt like he was lieing to me. He never wanted to introduce me to his friends, but he did that to my best friend. And he would txt her late at night telling her how horny he was. I had enough. so i broke up with him. a few months after that i finally told her that i forgave her. But it appalled me that she said she didn't know what she did to me for me to stop talking to her... but i looked past that.

I guess what i want to know is do you think i did the right thing about dropping those people in my life?
Or did i over react in any way? ( i feel like maybe i was over emotional with my anxiety as well?)
I still cry about it till this day. Which i know that i shouldn't because they're either laughing at me or just don't care about me at all. The fact that it still haunts be is pathetic right?
I really don't think they realize how much they hurt me. But i really can't do anything about it right?
And finally if you stuck around this long and read everything i applaud you. Your an amazing person
 
M

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,096
:welcome: to the forum.

If they made you bad and made it worse for you by triggering you and maybe lying I would say yes.

I dropped a friend last year and her reaction to it confirmed it was the best decision for me.

By asking are you doubting the decision?

Maybe make a list of pros and cons?

Marliee x
 
chazxxx

chazxxx

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
744
I think you did the right thing too, for many reasons.
Neither of them seemed like they were very supportive of you, i understand loved ones of depressed people often don't understand or dont know how to help but they didnt even seem to try. They didnt validate your feelings when you said you were jealous. Then yeah as nikita said the horny texting? Wtf? That was definately time to drop them both. That is wrong. And uterly disrespectful to you. By both her and him. It's hard to let people go that are important to you, but they are poisonous to you. They are trying to make you believe you are the problem, ie making you think it's paranoia, anxiety and depression. But you are certainly right for cutting them out of your life. Look at it as a positive you are getting rid of poisonous people, and gaining freedom to persue other things in life and giving yourself a chance to get better. Your really not loosing anything.

I had a simular situation. Once was suspicious of a friend of mine liking my boyfriend. But I was depressed at the time and just put it down to the paranoia of loosing him. One day found out he had a 3 some with 2 of my friends. Sometimes when your going through so much mentally you find it hard to trust your own intuition and feel like your just being more "crazy" but you do need to take notice of your intuition sometimes. I wish I had then i wouldnt of been as hurt as i was.

You absolutely did the right thing. Don't doubt yourself.
 
elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
137
Location
Kent
I think you've done the right thing for sure. Believe it or not, I've been through a similar situation very recently with a boyfriend of 2 years and a best friend of 4 years. When I cut off my friend, she didn't even try and explain/defend her actions, she literally just ignored the whole situation altogether. This just showed how little she really cared.

I think you need to find friends that genuinely do care about your feelings and are there to support you in your relationships, not ruin them. This of course is easier said than done. One thing I will suggest is having a long hard think about some of the qualities you expect/want in a friend, and a partner too. I think this is all a learning curve and eventually things will get better. I'm in a similar boat at the moment so you're not alone.

Best of luck to you x
 
B

barmcake

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 6, 2016
Messages
120
Did you do the right thing? You betcha. Don't let anyone treat you like s...!
 
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