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Did anyone else hear voices as a kid?

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notrealname

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I didn't want to put this in the hearing voices forum because it's so not exactly the same but I was just interested to see if anyone can relate to this experience of mine. I'll try to make it brief.

Starting when I was about 4 or 5, just as I started to sleep - in that kind of dozing state when you're both aware of external reality but happy to 'go along' with your dream - I would start to have this 'dream' (or what started as a dream, but then turned into something else...). I would see an orange flashcard in front of me with a number on it and my job was to read the number (in my mind) but when I did it, a chorus of adult voices - about ten of them, I guess - would read it as well. The numbers would start easy - the ones I knew - and would go slowly, and I would feel relaxed and hypnotised by it, but they would get quicker and quicker and the numbers far too long to read and as this happened and I started failing at the task, the voices would get loud and angry, screaming completely non-understandable numbers at me, and it would end in a cacophony of unintelligble screaming. What made it different from a dream, was that even once my eyes were open, I was completely awake, distressed, and running downstairs, the voices would not even quieten, they would continue to escalate. Meanwhile, all sounds outside of my head would sound distant and faint, kind of distorted and unnatural. I would also get a very distinct sensation of 'space' in my head - I envisioned it kind of like a bubble growing inside my mind, or like if my mind were a ball of yarn, that ball loosening and then expanding outwards to leave a gap in the middle. There was just a really weird feeling of space and distortion.

This continued until I was 10. After that, the voices stopped but the feeling and sound distortion that accompanied them didn't. The feeling - the space in my head - and the sound distortion (in which everything inside my head is loud and echoing and everything outside of me is distorted and distant) would come on in attacks, normally with a feeling that I was 'out of it' and odd numb sensations in my body.

It ended when I was about 19 or 20.

So yeah! I always put it down to mental health problems but I've never met anyone who can relate to my experience, so I thought I would ask here out of interest :)
 
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meliciousbeauty

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I get this too. usually when i am under a large amount of stress and it sounds exactly like you are describing but i end up sitting upright in bed and stare at my bed spread for what feels like forever. It seems like i am awake but i am so focused on this my eyes are wide awake and i sometimes awake from this and it feels almost like a nightmare...my heart races and it is terrifying...
 
N

notrealname

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I get this too. usually when i am under a large amount of stress and it sounds exactly like you are describing but i end up sitting upright in bed and stare at my bed spread for what feels like forever. It seems like i am awake but i am so focused on this my eyes are wide awake and i sometimes awake from this and it feels almost like a nightmare...my heart races and it is terrifying...
Wow! Is it exactly the same? With the feeling in the head and the distortion of external sound as well? Sorry to sound so excited - it isn't a very nice thing to experience - but I've never heard anyone say they've experienced it before.

And out of interest - if this is not too rude a question - what mental health problem do you suffer? I just wonder if it is common to certain types of mental health problems.
 
M

meliciousbeauty

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yes. my eyes are so focused but blurry at the same time. the last time it happened my fiance looked at me because i scared him but bolting upright in bed and i screamed at him to go back to bed. i could feel the anger i just was so mad at him almost like he interrupted it. I sleep with ear plugs so i can't usually hear sounds. Then i snap out of it. almost like a trance. heart racing and i am usually kinda sweaty like a nightmare. it is so scary.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Yes can also Identify, I had this a lot as a child, I used to wake screaming and terrified, would not let my mother leave my side. I still hear voices now sadly

KS
 
M

meliciousbeauty

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I suffer from schizophrenia and anxiety. The number thing i used to do when i was younger i thought it was to help me fall asleep but sometimes i would hear voices telling me i wasn't doing it well enough i would just push them out of my mind.
 
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notrealname

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I'm sorry to hear of both of your troubles. I am lucky that I no longer experience this. I don't think I had it as bad either. I used to feel 'not quite there' and a bit anxious while it was happening but it was not terrifying for me as an adult, only as a young child. I also didn't really feel that I 'woke' - it felt more like the cacophony in my head continued into the waking world in a seamless way. In fact, at the time I would swear I had not yet been asleep and that it had all happened while awake. I have decided looking back as an adult that for me to 'go along with it' at first, before it got frightening, I must have been at least partly asleep. Although I guess as a kid I would go along with what was in my head anyway. I once hallucinated that my friend was a glowing ball on the wall and I went downstairs to ask for some water for her, scaring the crap out of my parents because my friend had gone home hours earlier.

I only ever hallucinate if I am under extreme stress or very sleep deprived now, and for me it is only extremely brief and always the same - a hostile, male voice snapping my name in my ear. It always gives me a shock and I turn to see who is there but it is just for that fraction of a second and then it is gone. I've always thought I am just so exhausted I have fallen asleep for a second.
 
M

meliciousbeauty

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That is what triggers mine also. I am just glad i wasn't or i guess, i'm not the only one. It doesn't happen all the time.
 
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