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diagnosis needed

1

12345man

New member
Joined
Nov 14, 2009
Messages
3
i dont think i have schitzophrenia, because what happens to me only happens about once every 2 or so months, and used to happen at the most once a year from the age of four. (increased recently due to the infrequent use of cannabis i think)
anyway, ive searched everywhere for an explination of what happens to me and cant find a single case like it. i was wondering if anyone can relate to this or has any idea what it might be.

it started happening when i was very young (4). i would wake up in the middle of the night, and i would be hearing things. not like voices talking to me but i would hear a real noise and my brain would give it a tone, rhythm and 'personality' so i thought it was talking to me. it was almost always mocking me or telling me off. i would also feel things wrongly, like id grab my pillow to try and calm down and it would feel rock hard when in reality i knew it was very soft. i would friek out majorly, cry, and not be able to stop it. id go to my parents and wake them up, the only way i could stop it was to talk to someone and even then itd take up to an hour. (i remember moaning to my parents 'my hands..... whats wrong with them?' because everything felt different and wrong, and id hold them out palm up and open and close them looking at them. id grab something and squeeze it really hard and not let go for ages)
ive also had minor hallucinations. they only get as far as me seeing beams move on the cieling of my room, but i have definately hallucinated.
i feel very secluded and scared when this happens. its almost like i get stuck in my head, with voices and mocking tones going round. i cant get out.
and it always used to happen when i was asleep, but recently its started in the evenings.

ive looked at schitzophrenia and psychosis for this, but im just not sure what it is.

its odd, because when this isnt happening, im completely normal. apart from a little anxiety but i think its normal to have my level of anxiety. i do sometimes think up little paranoid thoughts like people not liking me but never to an extent where it would change my actions.

does anybody know what this could be? or has anyone felt it? its really strange, nobody i knows ever had it.

thanks for reading this
 
D

dreambuggieII

Guest
Hi there

I'd read some of Apotheoses posts.

He has a great way of explaining things

Then make up your own mind on a diagnoses.

:)
 
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