Diagnosed with cyclothymia, feeling so awful at the moment

Bell394

Bell394

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Joined
Sep 15, 2016
Messages
10
Location
Westeros
#1
Hello, new to this forum. Just wanted to hopefully talk with people who suffer with similar problems to me.

I've had psychosis since I was 14,it was very severe but seemed to get better after many years of therapy. Now however it has suddenly got very bad again, only this time no hallucinations but lots of mood swings. I am either high or very low, there's no inbetween. I get into states where I think I'm being cheated on, betrayed even though I have no evidence. I was sobbing for a whole evening and my psychiatrist had to prescribe me valium to calm me down. Then when it's not depression, I want to spend spend spend money I don't have on ridiculous items that I don't even really want. I'm a mess at the moment and I feel so terrible for my loved ones who are having to deal with me.

I really hope this gets better someday.
 
L

liberationquest

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Joined
Sep 16, 2016
Messages
6
#2
Have you ever cheated on someone or betrayed someone, and or - has someone ever done that to you before?

Are you betraying yourself, and or betraying somebody else?

Answering those questions - could help you discover why you were thinking about other people cheating on you, and/or betraying you.

Now...there is a multi-factorial causation, to many peoples spending habits.

I'll list a few..

The social cultural aspect of capitalism in this society, which depends on constant buying, acquiring and spending - has an effect. The environment that people live in....constantly encourages spending, regardless if it's for their own good or not. Capitalism has built an economic system that has a dependency on people, ignorantly buying, and impulsively spending, to acquire junk that they don't need.

Most people between the ages of tween and 25 - will spend money recklessly. Most people that never get a consequence for spending money recklessly, and/or who have acquired money parasitically - have no problem spending it.

Many people that have a constant innate discontent with themselves....typically use some kind of material, substance, label etc...to get some form of quick relief, comfort, and or to create some form of distraction.
 
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Bell394

Bell394

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2016
Messages
10
Location
Westeros
#3
Thank you Liberationquest, for your reply, a very interesting read.

My previous boyfriend I found out was in love with his ex still throughout the entirety of our relationship, and he lied about loving me. I feel like this could be one of the reasons I'm so suspicious of my boyfriend.

What you say about spending is very interesting, I definitely relate heavily to your last paragraph. I think I feel the need for some kind of comfort or distraction possibly? Thank you for your reply :)
 

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