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Diagnosed with cluster b and im scared

N

Nathank

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Sudbury
Hi everyone

I was just recently diagnosed within cluster b. Im told i have traits of all 4 but my psychiatrist doesnt view me as having one in particular.
Im in a relationship and I want to stay in it desperately but the diagnosis and self awareness has me terrified ill never have a "normal" life.
Has anyone here reduced symptoms snd maintained a healthy relationship? Had children and loved them?

I feel dead inside since i became aware, im lost.
 
N

Nathank

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Sudbury
My partner swears i make her happy and that im a good man. I just dont see it
 
I

iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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Jan 6, 2019
Messages
1,639
:welcome: to the forum. I don't know what cluster b is sorry. Wishing you well hun. :hug5:
 
I

iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Messages
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You're welcome hun. Please hang in there. I'm glad you have a supportive partner. (y) Most people don't. :(
 
N

Nathank

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Sudbury
Thank you. I guess thats what scares me, how on earth can i provide a good life for her? The guilt and shame over not giving a good life is a lot. Or is it me pushing away? I just dont know
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
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Location
Sheffiield
I just wanted to welcome you to the forums.

I'd never heard of Cluster B before and had to look it up.
That's a lot to deal with and I'm sorry you're going through this, just remember you are not your diagnosis, it's just one part of who you are and with the correct help you can come to terms with it and live as close to a 'normal' life as possible.
Thanks to medication I'm living a normal life and to meet me you wouldn't even question wether I had mental health issues.

Have you had CBT or DBT? I've had CBT but I was on the mend from my psychosis when I did so it wasn't as helpful as it is for others.

If your partner says you're a good man I'd trust her. Communication is always key for all relationships so talk to her as much as you can and I hope she'll reassure you and put your mind at rest.
 
N

Nathank

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Sudbury
Thank you.

I feel like i have become my diagnosis. I put my partner though hell but over the last year we've done well and ive grown lots and learned to control bad and hurtful decisions.
This however doesnt heal me and internally i feel terrible. One day shes my bestfriend, the next i think id be better off alone, i know this is all fake, based in my self hate.

I feel like im begging everyone here for reassurance i can be a good, lifelong partner. I dont love myself enough to beleive i can :(

Ive been in therapy for a while now and am starting group for personality disorders. It helpme understand i need to alter my mindset i just cant allow myself to feel worthy of happiness.
I just wanted to welcome you to the forums.

I'd never heard of Cluster B before and had to look it up.
That's a lot to deal with and I'm sorry you're going through this, just remember you are not your diagnosis, it's just one part of who you are and with the correct help you can come to terms with it and live as close to a 'normal' life as possible.
Thanks to medication I'm living a normal life and to meet me you wouldn't even question wether I had mental health issues.

Have you had CBT or DBT? I've had CBT but I was on the mend from my psychosis when I did so it wasn't as helpful as it is for others.

If your partner says you're a good man I'd trust her. Communication is always key for all relationships so talk to her as much as you can and I hope she'll reassure you and put your mind at rest.
 
N

Nathank

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Sudbury
Thank you.

I feel like i have become my diagnosis. I put my partner though hell but over the last year we've done well and ive grown lots and learned to control bad and hurtful decisions and shes forgiven. Shes genuinely proud of my changes.

This however doesnt heal me and internally i feel terrible. One day shes my bestfriend, the next i think id be better off alone, i know this is all fake, based in my self hate.

I feel like im begging everyone here for reassurance i can be a good, lifelong partner. I dont love myself enough to believe i can :(

Ive been in therapy for a while now and am starting group for personality disorders. It helps me understand i need to alter my mindset...i just cant allow myself to feel worthy of happiness.
 
C

CreativeIntrovert

Active member
Joined
Oct 15, 2018
Messages
35
Look up Sam Vaknin if you're not aware of him already. He has NPD and I also think he was diagnosed with psychopathy. He has a youtube channel raising awareness of the conditions to help people not be victimised, he seems to have found a healthy channel for his personality. I believe he is married so it looks like he has managed to create a healthy life with a family and a business. I think the main thing is that you're aware of it and don't want to hurt people.
 
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