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Diagnosed with bipolar II recently(had the wrong diagnosis), will it ever get better? I feel lost

A

andrejj10

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Joined
Oct 5, 2017
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1
Diagnosed with bipolar II recently(had the wrong diagnosis), will it ever get better? I feel lost

Dear kind people who went through hell because of mental illness,
I am a 19 year old, who has been treated from severe depression for 2 years unsuccessfuly,
one attemp of suicide, and two hospitalizations. Luckily last time I was
hospitalized there was a bipolar specialist who quickly realized that my diagnosis was
wrong(I have bipolar II) the entire time and I got proper meds for mine.
I take Seroquel, Eftil(I don't know what it's called in the US, but it's used usually for epileptic
episodes), Pregabalin(Lyrica), and I'm tapering off of Clonzaepam which I used to take for
anxiety.

I don't have manic episodes, I have slight hypomania, but very rarely. Most of the time my episodes
are depressive and I feel like I don't wanna live. I feel sadness and cry most of the time.
These meds so far got me a bit more balanced, and the psychological pains are not nearly
as bad.

I wanted to ask if anyone with bipolar II has got their life together?

My college is starting in roughly 10 days, and I hope that days with structure(having to
wake up and go to college, study and so on) will help me get out of my own thoughts.

I have distanced myself from almost all friends, or some have abandoned me because I'm not
doing good. (You're just spoiled, you have everything, you have no reason to be sad etc.)

I wanna hear if anyone is functioning normally, and how did you get to that stage?
Because the more I stay in my depressive episode, the more suicidal I get, and most
of the time I don't see an exit other than suicide.

Any tips to get better? Is it even possible?
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
andre, yes it is possible to get better and have stability and even serenity. I spent a lot of time learning things like transactional analysis and co dependency. I did inner child work. You have to do your homework and stop running on automatic programming. The tendency towards suicidal ideation is a program.
 
Prairie Sky

Prairie Sky

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
708
Location
Canada
Welcome here Andre.

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have Bipolar II since I was 18 (26 now) and was diagnosed a year and a half ago.

It would be wonderful if I could tell you that it's all uphill from here, sit back and let the meds do their job... but it just doesn't work that way. In fact the last year and a half has been one of the worst times of my life.

That's because I allowed myself to be shattered by a label. I read books on Bipolar and poor prognosis and high suicide rates. I concluded that all the hopes and dreams I had were now unattainable. Therapy did nothing, because of my complete helplessness. I believed this is the way I am, it's biological, it can't be changed, and there's no hope.

Which is all a complete lie. Bipolar II is difficult to live with, for sure, but we're not at the mercy of fate. The first thing to remember is that the label doesn't define who you are. You're not a statistic. You're a young person full of creativity and potential and that potential can be reached.

Finding a place of stability takes a lot of hard work (I haven't got there yet!). Much of it revolves around being responsible for your everyday choices, habits and routines. I find that a structured environment is very helpful. Eating healthy, sleeping enough and at the proper time, avoiding overindulging on alcohol or drugs (abstinence is best), keeping track of your finances and keeping a well-defined schedule. Don't allow stress to push you under, and school will be full of that. Take time to yourself - go for walks, take a hot bath, do something that relaxes you and quiets your mind. At the same time don't isolate yourself from other people. That's one of the most dangerous things a depressed person can do. We need others. Make an effort to get to know people at university; perhaps there may be some sort of mental health group there where you can meet others with similar struggles who understand you. Peer support is so great if you can find it.

Wishing you all the best! Remember this (my psychiatrist told me once) - Bipolar is not a life sentence.
 
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