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Diagnosed Psychopath/Sociopath discussion (questions welcome)

T E_90

T E_90

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Yes I also find running crime related things in the background often peaceful but I don’t like to do it regularly as I’m afraid I might get bored of that too and I also think that my rage is because of others trying to dominate me and that happens for me regularly as my family knows how I am and they know when I get the urges so they don’t even let me imagine things which is really frustrating, Have you seen any psychiatrists? I’m asking because I want to see one if they can be helpful
I understand the problem of boredom, I always live with it, I never finish what I start, having also attention deficit.
The problem is finding something that you are passionate about enough to be able to put your head on it, forgetting for a while what frustrates (in my case reading/learning law, as it's something I'm passionate about and it helps).
Yes, I'm currently going to a psychiatrist (it wasn't my choice but I had to, due to a number of circumstances and already having some answers) and I'm still under diagnosis, but for now I find him very useful at least for venting on these kinds of thought that I can't tell anybody and hide.
Even talking here (I usually write in my post in this section talking about my urge when it feels too overwhelming) is helpful and very important to me in order to keep my mind together.
If you are considering a psychiatrist , probably it could be a good choice.
 
T

TheDarkKnightWithAK

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I understand the problem of boredom, I always live with it, I never finish what I start, having also attention deficit.
The problem is finding something that you are passionate about enough to be able to put your head on it, forgetting for a while what frustrates (in my case reading/learning law, as it's something I'm passionate about and it helps).
Yes, I'm currently going to a psychiatrist (it wasn't my choice but I had to, due to a number of circumstances and already having some answers) and I'm still under diagnosis, but for now I find him very useful at least for venting on these kinds of thought that I can't tell anybody and hide.
Even talking here (I usually write in my post in this section talking about my urge when it feels too overwhelming) is helpful and very important to me in order to keep my mind together.
If you are considering a psychiatrist , probably it could be a good choice.
Thank you, I will definitely get an psychiatrist
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Depending which diagnostic tool I use, I range from definitely having ASPD (or Sociopathy) to being 1% point under the threshold for being a psychopath.

I'm a 42 year old woman. I love maybe 5 people in my life and I love animals. I have strong empathy in that regard. Otherwise, no.

I have high cognitive empathy, meaning I can understand on a purely mental level why people behave, think and feel how they do. But I have low to no affective empathy, which means I can't really feel how they feel, and nor do I care.

I've lied as easily as I've told the truth since a very young age, but I'm usually not malicious. I can be a very nice person. But I need what I need and want what I want, and I'll go around or above whomever to get it. Usually unassuming and quietly. I'm not violent.

I have been committing various crimes consistently since age 18 and would have been in jail many times over if ever caught. Nobody has ever suspected me. I look young, friendly and innocent.
 
T

TheDarkKnightWithAK

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I understand the problem of boredom, I always live with it, I never finish what I start, having also attention deficit.
The problem is finding something that you are passionate about enough to be able to put your head on it, forgetting for a while what frustrates (in my case reading/learning law, as it's something I'm passionate about and it helps).
Yes, I'm currently going to a psychiatrist (it wasn't my choice but I had to, due to a number of circumstances and already having some answers) and I'm still under diagnosis, but for now I find him very useful at least for venting on these kinds of thought that I can't tell anybody and hide.
Even talking here (I usually write in my post in this section talking about my urge when it feels too overwhelming) is helpful and very important to me in order to keep my mind together.
If you are considering a psychiatrist , probably it could be a good choice.
How is your experience with psychologists? I personally find it very hard to be completely honest with them and I feel like they can't understand what I feel which is really me lying to myself and being manipulative.
 
T E_90

T E_90

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How is your experience with psychologists? I personally find it very hard to be completely honest with them and I feel like they can't understand what I feel which is really me lying to myself and being manipulative.
I went to various psychologists as a child and it was a total waste of time, then lately my experience with the first psychiatrist has been terrible, but the latter is very good.
Considering going there wasn't my choice ( I had to), at first it was very difficult for me to talk about my thoughts and all, considering it isn't something I can freely talk to anyone about,
(even here I have a hard time) but after a while, I started trusting and seeing that nothing was happening.
In the meantime I felt relieved every time, it's like venting the pressure in an explosive tube.
I've bee diagnosed with mix of ASPD, NPD and suspected Bipolar, but just after many appointments.
At least now I have a clearer view of myself, which helps understanding my triggers, and writing here also helps a lot. I have to say despite my skepticism about psychiatrists and psychiatry in general, it was a good choice (for now).
What you say about your difficulty in opening up I think is totally normal, I think the most important problem is finding the right psychiatrist, who knows how to listen without prejudice.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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I open up effortlessly, but again, only on a purely mental level. There's no emotion or vulnerability. My regular facade of smiling, friendly, smart, intuitive and neutral remains easily.

This has been a very large obstacle in being accurately diagnosed with anything much throughout my life. They don't believe me, no matter what I say.
 
T E_90

T E_90

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I open up effortlessly, but again, only on a purely mental level. There's no emotion or vulnerability. My regular facade of smiling, friendly, smart, intuitive and neutral remains easily.

This has been a very large obstacle in being accurately diagnosed with anything much throughout my life. They don't believe me, no matter what I say.
Yes I get what you mean, I feel blank myself.
I look others from the outside trying to understand what drives to compassion and empathy towards others or me, but as much as I try I'm unable (I feel just for animals) it just drive me nuts.
Sometimes there's a small breach and I feel incredibly depressed, almost suicidal, but this doesn't last long. The longest time I went without shedding a tear was one entire year.
So there isn't much going on, except anger.
Then due to problems due to my behavior, I had to resign myself to go to a psychiatrist.
It helps though, but everytime I continue to put up the serene and polite mask, so much so that the first psychiatrist thought that it couldn't be possible for a person like me, to behave so badly and have such thoughts in mind, I mean a psych that didn't know that appearances can be deceiving? what a genius.
He was so shocked it would have been almost fun to watch, except that then he tried to put the blame on my mother and my grandparents for abuse.
At least this last psych knows how to listen without going to hasty conclusions.
I always knew I wasn't like the others around me, and it never bothered me, but lately it got out of hand, (especially after my last breakup years ago, possibly the only relationship where I genuinely felt something) ergo the last thoughts, urges and behaviors I confessed to the psychiatrist have brought me inside psychopathy (which is bullsh*t as I know the difference between right and wrong, otherwise why would I hide what's in my head? moreover I can control myself).
Anyway I wish you to find a good psychiatrist in future,
there's nothing more irritating than when you are not believed.
 
S

Simple2021

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It's good to hear from people with ASPD. I actually have empathy for people with this disorder because I know that you seriously can't help that you have a lack of remorse and shame. Why should I treat someone who can't help it like crap? I also hate how ASPD is shown in media (ie, the blood thirsty killer or rapist).

I hope you have enough self awareness to understand why our species developed empathy, and why it is crucial to at least mimic this emotion in day-to-day life.

I sincerely hope you are coping well with your disorder, and even though you may not be able to understand my concern, just know that I do, indeed, care for you, just like I care for all psychopaths.

PS: I hope you have healthy ways of dealing with the chronic boredom that comes with ASPD.

It's good to see that someone has empathy for us. For me, I expect empathy but I can't return it. You are correct, we didn't choose this. People can't pick and choose which disorders they are destined to due to genetics or environmental factors.

I hope that one day we won't have to wear masks because it's very draining. I am hoping that one day people will no longer fear us as the monsters that tv makes us out to be. Many of us are coming out of the shadows and are trying to cope with our disorder.
 
S

Simple2021

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Hello, I am diagnosed with ASPD *Anti Social Personality Disorder* and score a 37/40 on the PCL-R based on diagnosis from a trained professional. I also display severe damage to the orbitofrontal cortex- on an fMRI scan due to head trauma. I am considered
Hello, I am diagnosed with ASPD *Anti Social Personality Disorder* and score a 37/40 on the PCL-R based on diagnosis from a trained professional. I also display severe damage to the orbitofrontal cortex on an fMRI scan due to head trauma. I am considered "severely psychopathic" according to modern medicine. I am creating this thread to hopefully attract others like me for discussion, and to answer questions from people who are curious about this topic. Feel free to ask anything, I will answer honestly thanks to the anonymity of this forum.
"severely psychopathic" according to modern medicine. I am creating this thread to hopefully attract others like me for discussion, and to answer questions from people who are curious about this topic. Feel free to ask anything, I will answer honestly thanks to the anonymity of this forum.
Hello, my disorder isn't as severe as yours but I'm writing to still see how you cope with your disorder. I envy you because it seems that you no longer have to wear a mask. Your wife, your coworkers and possibly others in your life know what you are. No one for certain knows what I am, I know a few people who have suspicions.

It all falls on a spectrum as I saw you mention in one of your other posts. How did the people close to you come to find out what you are? Did you tell them? There's a part of me that wishes everyone knew but there is another part that wants to hold this tightly shut.

I'm frequently bored and sometimes find myself creating situations that don't exist in order to cause drama and chaos, even if it is self inflicted. Anything to keep action going. How do you deal with your impulsive nature? Do you even have issues with impulse? I didn't see that mentioned.
 
H

Hokiepokie

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The biggest misconception about psychopathy is NO empathy. It's the most faulty, misconstrued stereotype of psychopathy that exists. What is psychopathy? It is all or none? We know the answer is ........it's a continuum. Yes, 30 is used as a cutoff score for the PCLR, but it's a continuum. The same is for empathy. There are very, very, very, very, very, very, very few people in the world that are a true 40. There are very, very, very, very, very, very few people in the world that score a 0. What I'm getting at is, the absolute overwhelming majority of psychopaths actually DO have empathy. The questions is how much. What's clear is that psychopaths have far less empathy than those not psychopathic, but it's not to say psychopaths have absolutely zero empathy. Whenever you watch the crime show on TV, or see the FBI profiler interview on criminology and they say "psychopaths just don't have any empathy." That's a giant load of horse crap. Psychopaths have very little or less or little or few, etc. That's how it truly is in practice.

The other famous one. "Psychopath's have no conscience." Absolute junk. Psychopath's have LESS of a conscience compared to people who aren't psychopathic. People also think the score indicates empathy. For example, if you score 34, then you clearly have less empathy or less of a conscience than someone scoring a 32. That's not true either. The person with the score of 34 MIGHT have MORE empathy than the one scoring 32, but not necessarily. Psychopathy is a measure of multiple factors, at least the PCLR is a measure of multiple factors, and the person with the 34 might actually have more empathy than the person scoring 32, but the person scoring 34 scores higher in 2 other areas such as callousness and poorer impulse control compared to the person scoring 32.
 
S

Simple2021

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Hello, I am diagnosed with ASPD *Anti Social Personality Disorder* and score a 37/40 on the PCL-R based on diagnosis from a trained professional. I also display severe damage to the orbitofrontal cortex on an fMRI scan due to head trauma. I am considered "severely psychopathic" according to modern medicine. I am creating this thread to hopefully attract others like me for discussion, and to answer questions from people who are curious about this topic. Feel free to ask anything, I will answer honestly thanks to the anonymity of this forum.
I'm also curious to know if before you actually knew what you were, did you think everyone else was acting like you were. For much of my lifetime is distrust healthy people. In my mind they are treating me that same way that I might treat then. That they do are without empathy and are playing empathy game like me.
 
H

Hokiepokie

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When i think of intelligence, i never really think of IQ tests.
I think intelligence goes beyond a test and shouldn't necessarily be measured by such
Might be mixing up IQ and EQ. IQ is simple. It's the capacity or one's ability to know. In short, IQ is....what's this persons ability or how easy is it for them to acquire new information or knowledge. Knowledge or "being smart" is how much you already KNOW.

When you talk about emotions and rationale choices. This starts to get into the area of emotional intelligence. Also knows as EQ. For years, remember when we would here the old statement, "smart people or people with high IQ's can do stupid things like drive drunk, kill someone, then get in a high speed chase with the police when the person doing this was a Medical Doctor." We always described in the past, the above situation as "somebody who is smart that could do dumb things." Well, the Medical Doctor above is still likely extremely high in IQ and his IQ remained high when he drank, when he drove drunk, and even during his police chase. What the medical doctor has is.......a low EQ. A low emotional intelligence. EQ and IQ are two different things and in summary, high IQ people are genius's aren't dumb, and they actually never have a moment in time where their IQ drops or they become dumb, but what a high IQ person or genius can still have is a possible low EQ, hence, the bad choices. Also, IQ is very, very difficult to change and doesn't change much, even with Doctorate Degrees obtained, for example, kid graduates High School and has an IQ of 125, then he goes on and gets a Doctorate Degree. His IQ will likely have gone up, but only some, for example, 129. EQ on the other hand, is incredibly movable with behavior and cognitive changes.

You can have someone like Michael Vick, a dog killer and likely drug dealer in High School serve his prison time, but get training in prison on behavior modification and cognitive therapy and then have a supporting cast that is very high in EQ, and you can get the Michael Vick of the last 10 or so years. No speeding tickets, stable job, one wife and stable relationship, no issues with the law, and a guy who now speaks and supports the ASPA and is generally a contributor to society and someone that makes good choices, and far, far less choices on impulse. This is an example of an EQ change.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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I'm frequently bored and sometimes find myself creating situations that don't exist in order to cause drama and chaos, even if it is self inflicted. Anything to keep action going.
This is me too.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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It's like it's something that I can't control. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. It's like I do it subconsciously
I'm the same. I knew I was doing something, but never really thought about what, why or the specifics.
 
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