shirley u gessed
- Apr 16, 2020
- the south
I think I get it.
I don't mind at all, that's why I'm here. I've noticed that more than a few people have noticed some similar points in what I say. I will address them while answering each question.Hi Tin woodman, first of all congratulations for overcoming your cancer. You are very lucky to have such kind people like your wife at your side. It's amazing you have been given the opportunity to experience unconditional love from her, even if you might not be able to fully interiorize it. I have some questions, if you don't mind answering them (and I think you don't).
1. What do you think is your purpose in life? Do you think you do have a soul?
2. If you could, would you like to be able to feel all emotions, from emotional pain to joy?
3. I'm really curious about what you said, that you would like to be accepted by others, be loved by your mother, but at the same time that you don't care about what people think of you. And that you don't know what love feels, but at the same time you are really protective to your wife, and you would die for her. For me, the last one seems something really close to what love would look like, but it's only my opinion.
4. Are you familiar with the concept of dissociation? I don't know why, but reading all your answers, it comes to my mind the idea that you really do have emotions but that they are deeply (really deep) and severily dissociated. That, and that you were severely abused as a child. When you were born, did your brain look "normal", with no brain injuries before the head trauma?
5. You said that in the past you did hurt people, and that you felt an intense rage. Do you think it may have been a way of channeling/expressing your anger and pain from the abuse?
Thanks in advance. This is a really interesting thread.
I understand your doubt. I expect it actually and am surprised that only a few people here have questioned me considering how unlikely it is that a person with ASPD would bother with these exercises. To be completely honest I don't really have a solid reason for doing this, I'm here mostly out of curiosity and the experience is entertaining to me. It is interesting to see input from people who I don't have to charm or manipulate to get what I want. I think I can learn to be more pro-social and do less harm to others by gaining perspective on this forum. I'm not here to shock people and purposefully try to keep what I say mild to foster discussion. Perhaps using the word "Psychopath" was in bad judgment. I believe the word accurately describes what I am but do not think projecting it has been productive because many people do not understand that people like me are perfectly capable of acting normally to get what we want. This is an experiment on my part. You can rightfully assume I'm here for selfish reasons.I don't know whether you have already answered this but why are you on the forum?. We occasionally get someone who claims to be a psychopath come on this forum and funnily enough want people to ask them questions about it. Admittedly they are much more sensationalist about how they are and seem to want to shock people.This is a waste of time as generally people on the forum have seen it all and heard it all before. So anyway why are you on a mental health forum when frankly you don't seem to have a mental illness per se ?
I'm not unmoved, gaining respect from others is useful to me. I see it as a "win".You will be unmoved to know that I respect you. Regular people should be cautious of, or fear you. A role in government would suit you well.
Thank you, you helped illustrate what I can not and I appreciate it.To me it seems like most people think to be a psychopath you have to have every single symptom exactly as described in the diagnosis and there's no flexibility in symptoms. Like any other psychological conditions there are variations in symptoms. Tin Woodman could put stipulations on ever single statement he makes this would be sort of ridiculous seeming to me. Also lacking the ability to frequently experience any single emotion can make it difficult to know that feeling in depth and even confuse some emotions with others. I have had trouble describing my anxiety, because it was fight or flight at a very high level of intensity. I didn't know what a normal feeling emotion was for a very long time, because I was so used to being emotionally on fire or having my brain physically incapable of continue to fire those neurons to produce emotions very well.
I often seek adventure, but more so danger and often prefer the latter. I often recklessly throw myself deeply into uncomfortable situations because it is thrilling because I think that some things can only be learned while in duress. I use marijuana daily and experiment with any psychedelic I can get my hands on in order to gain perspective. I don't believe that I am any more intelligent than others, but I understand that my introverted nature lends itself to introspection and learning.Oh, you sound like an adventurous, thrilling person. Have you ever been into drugs/psychedelics or even recreational marijuana?
This sometimes stays within our body if the THC level dosage is unregulated or if we blindly administer it. You do sound intelligent.
Have mysticism intrigued you by chance?
Do you plan a family? Perhaps it will change life perspective for you?
You sure are lucky to have a wife like her, and please prize her. But do you model the emotion and not feel inside?
Perhaps just detachment in your personality as you have been successful and independent and do not much attention to feelings because you think it does not simply work?
Just humble advice: do not let go for such a wife. Also, do try spiritual meditation and reconnect.
I am sure you will find something exciting if you believe in spirituality.
Feel free to PM me about this. It might take me some time to respond because I am so busy lately thanks to work, but I am always genuinely interested in having deep discussions with other people.I can try to make or find some sort of emotions and feelings list, if you are interested in giving your thoughts on if, how, when and what parts you experience. I wouldn't expect you to write a paper about each emotion, just give some thoughts about them. I think you could get some insights from other people about how you experience emotions and feelings compared to them. How emotions and feelings are experienced by each individual are somewhat different, but it could be interesting.
I was in the middle of this post when I saw your inquiry, I will try to respond to it shortly.
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